the godshall life

best days of my life

2012-01-30T20:50:00.003-05:00

it's very rare when life goes as planned. usually, in our house, we're just trying to keep up with the chaos. trying not to be swallowed by the insanity.

i read a blog the other day that talked about how older women come up to us mom's in the thick of toddler-hood and say, 'enjoy these days, these are the best of your life'. and how we're so freakin' tired and just want them to go to bed that it just heaps more guilt on us that we're not enjoying 'the best days of our life'. this blogger suggested that looking forward to bed time is okay - and even normal. and that what matters is to be in the moment. to take the rare moments of pure bliss and burn them into your mind. and that really, those are the things that stick. those are the moments we'll remember. and that's why one day we'll probably turn to a haggard young mom and tell her 'she's in the best days of her life'.

isn't it funny how once something is said aloud, pointed out, or given words you just couldn't find - how it just changes your perspective?

last night we had one of those 'moments'. it was a truely restful sunday. we all fell asleep at one point or another during the day. we played games, we cleaned the house, we played wii together.

we sat down for dinner and there was no complaining. no one commented how they didn't like the food. no one spilled their milk. they passed with manners, they ate all their food and asked for seconds. and when we were just about done eating, isaiah picked up the bible.

matt usually reads to us at dinner, but without even asking isaiah picked it up and began to read. and read he did. the entire section. the girls were silent, intent on listening to the new voice that was speaking the same truth. i watched in wonder as my son took on the role his daddy has...with eagerness and confidence.

when he was finished alaythia decided she was also going to lead us. she instructed us on who would sing and when to sing. we were to pick our favorite song and sing it for each other. around the table we went, even little soph singing 'Jesus loves me'....'they weak, he be strong!' alaythia making up her own songs which are the truths of God sung back to him. isaiah drumming to the beat. daddy's voice cracking because he was overcome with emotion.

we moved to the living room to play a game. everyone involved, everyone happy, taking turns, mommy and daddy flirting, sophia adding her own rules as we went.

it was perfect. a rich, sweet, blessed time as a family...and i found myself thinking, 'maybe these really are the best days of my life'.

2012

2012-01-01T21:21:00.003-05:00

it's the first day of a new year. you'd never know it if you just popped in on our house today. the same routine, the same events. a quick mention here or there on 2012, but for the most part it was business as usual.

yet tonight my heart is full. full of the past year and the hope of the next. life is mundane and rich. routine and unexpected. what the past held i could not predict. what the future holds i dare not dream.

but i'm grateful. grateful to be where i am. loving, living, learning, giving. and centered in the heart of a great God.

sweet girl

2011-11-28T21:07:00.002-05:00

my sweet sophia...she brings me so much joy.

i love how much she loves the color blue. sitting in a blue chair, eating out of a blue bowl, coloring on blue paper with a blue crayon, blue rubber bands in her hair.

she is speaking clearly now. i-zay-ah! good morning! i love you mama. each time she says something clear as day, it's like i've heard it for the first time.

the thumb sucking. it has to stop...but not yet. the way her little lips curl around it...it's just too cute.

her skin is so soft and cushy. i love to kiss her cheeks, and squeeze her thighs. i love to watch her chubby fingers grabbing for things.

my sweet sophia...she brings me so much joy.

st. louis with great aunt lydia

2011-11-22T14:14:00.004-05:00

this past weekend we headed out to st. louis to spend time with matt's aunt lydia. she lives in southern california but was refereeing a college volleyball tournament in st. louis. so we all met up and had a really fun weekend.

we headed back to the magic house, an absolute favorite. we also went to the arch...where matt, lydia and isaiah traveled to the top. mommy was just fine to stay on the ground with the girls.

it was a perfectly timed escape. much needed and a huge gift. thank you aunt lydia for your generosity and for making it happen.

instagram sunday

2011-11-22T14:08:00.004-05:00

pammy was my bear when i was little. i love seeing them play with my thing.

little hands, little feet

friends

tree climber

alaythia is the only one that cooperated

little soph had a procedure done yesterday. while we were
waiting she was singing with daddy.

taken at 11:11am on 11-11-11

2011-11-16T13:17:00.002-05:00

across the country

2011-11-15T09:01:00.004-05:00

it's amazing really that it all worked out, considering there is roughly 2400 miles between our house and the west coast where our family is. one grandma flying out east, two parents flying out west, makes for an incredible opportunity.

matt and i were able to go to rocklin a couple weekends ago to attend, and help out with, michael and hallie's baby shower. while we were gone, my mom came out to stay with the kids...all by herself. there were so many cool things about the time.

getting to celebrate this new life that will be entering our family in just a few short weeks! getting to spend focused time time with our nephew and niece. getting to spend time and seeing family. matt and i flying with out kids, which might i say is amazingly relaxing!

the momma and daddy to be

i found several ideas on pinterest that i wanted to give a try.
i was very pleased that things turned out how i had hoped!

favors and dessert

here in kentucky there were cool things happening too. grandma getting to know the kids at a different level. fun adventures at the zoo, parks, crafts and movies. grandma getting to teach isaiah in school. and frankly the fact that grandma rocked it all on her own.

it feels like a blip in time, like did that really happen? after all, who flies to california for the weekend? but at the same time, i'm so thankful for the time. such rich, intense, different space. i know i've said it before, but we are extremely blessed to have parents that make sure we stay connected and repeatedly give generously to us.

halloween 2011

2011-11-15T08:46:00.002-05:00

what a fun night. we went to some friend's house for dinner and to trick or treat in their neighborhood. although there was only 4 families there, we had 12 kids total. it was mayhem when we let them loose to go house to house. isaiah and the older kids sprinted, and i do mean sprinted, from house to house. poor sophia did her best to keep up. holding mommy's hand most the night she kept asking where brother was. to his credit he did slow down for a few houses to go with his baby sister.

this year we had rapunzel from the movie tangled,
the mighty thor and dora the explorer.

i seriously can't get enough of this girl!

the sweet princess.

thor with his hammer ready to strike.

ever wonder?

2011-11-15T08:41:00.002-05:00

for halloween we thought we would try to straighten alaythia's hair. believe it or not, in all of her four and half years, i've never tried it. she felt so old and ran her fingers through her hair all night. most people didn't even recognize her, and one little friend was convinced it wasn't alaythia with that straight hair. as fun as it was for one night, it's amazing how her curly hair fits her personality perfectly!

haircuts

2011-11-15T08:35:00.002-05:00

it's a big deal when a girl gets a haircut in our house. alaythia has only had one in her lifetime...soph, never. so when i made appointments at a salon for the two of them, it was an event! we went just us girls, and had the place to ourselves.

she's waiting to get her hair shampooed. i'm so thankful
for this picture. i feel like i can get a glimpse of her in 10 years.

all done and so happy.

after watching big sister is was no big deal to have her haircut.
she was so excited to have it be her turn.

such big girl and so proud!

the park through instagram

2011-11-15T08:24:00.004-05:00

waiting patiently to be tagged the 'goose'

sometimes, most times, i look at her and am amazed she's mine

it's football season...he is rarely found without this.
fantasy teams, stats and playing the game.

looking up

running to daddy

it's hard to get a picture without a scrunch face

kentucky in fall is VERY hard to beat.
the perfect weather, the crazy colors, we are basking in
our fall splendor!

see? never without it

instagram sunday

2011-10-16T21:37:00.003-04:00

more summer dresses

offering me her homemade applesauce

fall has arrived

my turn to do my own wheat

piping hot..our first loaf

toasting our first bread 'to the king'

lazy sunday

instagram sunday

2011-10-09T18:50:00.003-04:00

we are embarking on a new era in the godshall home...we are attempting to make our own organic, whole wheat bread. i have a friend that has been making her own bread for years and this week she invited us over to learn how to do it. there is a company in indiana that delivers materials once a month. this tuesday we will recieve our order and begin our own journey. to get the most nutrients into the bread she even mills her own wheat. this series of photos are of our time learning how to make the bread.

three kinds of wheat ready to be milled

dough balls waiting to be kneaded and formed

after raising for a little over an hour

the finished product

our weather has warmed up and we've been enjoying
80 degree weather. we had to break out the sun
dresses again!

this is PART of our trees in the front yard. all these leaves
are going to fall. and i am going to have to pick them all up.

we had a curriculum free day on friday so we headed downtown
to the speed art museum. they had a whole section for kids
to interact and create. we had an absolutely fantastic time!

things i love about sophia

2011-10-03T13:58:00.004-04:00

-at bedtime she alternates who she snuggles with while we sing songs. sometimes she's up on the top bunk with big brother, sometimes having a girly giggle fest with sister. she picks, but she's always welcome in either bed.

-she has to have 'Jesus loves me' sung to her every night. i rock her and she sings with me. when we're done singing i kiss her forehead and she kisses my nose.

-isaiah calls her a zoo keeper because she must have, 20 stuffed animals and dolls at the foot of her bed. a couple nights ago i asked if i could take some out. she said yes, and i started to throw some out. after about 5 tosses she freaked out and i had to put them all back in. somehow, even though there are tons in there, she knows which ones are missing.

-her bedtime routine is so ROUTINE. she has to have her quilt hanging over a certain side of her crib at night, but it can't be there for nap time. she has to have her beanie babies dora and boots on her pillow next to her. and she picks which blanket she wants me to put on her.

-she's started to speak in full sentences. and she's realized which sentences will get her what she wants faster. 'help me mommy please!' is a good one...and gets used quite a bit! how could anyone not drop whatever they were doing and run to her?

-her favorite song is 'single ladies' by beyonce and when we get in the car she asks for us to listen to it. but she calls it, 'uh-uh-uh'.

-in every book she reads she has to identify herself as one of the characters. thus, the berenstain bear books that include baby honey (or 'baby huh' as she likes to say) are the absolute best. after the page is read she goes through and names everyone on the page.

art fair and the artist

2011-10-02T18:12:00.003-04:00

this weekend louisville hosted one of the largest art fairs in the country. we played hookey from church and braved the cold fall air to go take a look. it was in old louisville among AMAZING victorian homes. the fair was organized in a loop with booths set up on each side of the walk way. we took our time looking and walking.

i love things like that. i love getting out into the community, doing something together as a family. sure it's a lot of work for something you don't know for certain will go well. but today it proved oh so worth it.

even though the art we saw was diverse and amazing, capturing lots of my attention...i actually was most taken with alaythia. she absolutely LOVED it, often times stopping us and asking us to go into a booth with her. she took her time and enjoyed. the sparkle of some glass, the texture of a hat, the funky jewelry in a row. it captivated her. the colors, the beauty, the creativity. it was like she was seeing what was possible for the very first time. and as i watched her i thought, 'she belongs here'.

my favorite moment of the day was a when alaythia pulled sophia and i into a wind chime booth. these weren't your ordinary wind chimes...they were precious stones, shaved almost paper thin and hung together to make the chime. when the different kinds, and different widths, of rock hit each other they made a melody of beautiful notes. they were hung just high enough that the girls couldn't reach them, so i actually relaxed as we entered. their different colors refracted light and twinkled around the booth. and then, just as we walked in, the wind picked up and set them off.

i watched the girls twirl and twist to see all the different chimes. their faces to the sky, whipping from chime to chime to see them all in action. alaythia giggled and soph, as if she knew, raised both her hands as high as she could reach.

it will forever be etched in my mind.

i'll admit, even though i get asked almost every day if i will let her paint. even though i know she loves to color and create...it wasn't until today, when she was surrounded by art and artists, that it crossed my mind that she may be an artist herself...

this afternoon she brought us all into the hallway, leading us eyes closed until she said to open them. and then all at the same time, we opened our eyes to find papers lined up on each side of the hall, a masterpiece for each of us that she had drawn. she had created her own art fair in our house..and i can tell you truthfully, we were all too eager to buy.

instagram sunday

2011-10-02T18:03:00.002-04:00

g'ma brig

2011-10-01T20:08:00.003-04:00

there is a nip in the air. we haven't turned the heater on yet...something about if we don't then we really won't be heading into winter. so when the kids got up on this lazy saturday morning i found them all snuggling on the couch in a comfy, fuzzy, tattered blanket.

it is a throw blanket that belonged to my grandma (i think i've mentioned it before). it hung over her couch, and when she passed i inherited the couch...and the blanket. i snapped a picture of the kids this morning and wished g'ma (as she liked to be referred to in writing) could know and love my kids. and that they could be loved by her. my heart ached for her.

we were sitting at dinner tonight and isaiah started singing songs from the lion king. matt commented that elton john had written those songs. we had to explain who he was and i told them of a time, when his grandma and grandpa went and saw him in concert and how he came out in a a cape filled with different colored balls of light.

they asked if i got to go to the concert - i didn't. i explained i was probably babysat by my grandma. and then for the next several minutes i told them about some of the wonderful things about my grandma.

that we were good friends, like they are with their grandmas. all of us grandkids laying together in bed with her in the morning and brainstorming all the wonderful things we could think to eat for breakfast, knowing g'ma would get up and make it for us until we could eat no more. somehow we'd almost always end up with french toast. how i loved her backyard because her deck was a stage...ready for me to put on show after show after show for anyone that would come and watch. how when i studied in israel for a semester in college she came and visited me there. she climbed every mountain, she trudged through tunnels, rode on boats and experienced the land with me. and how, she was taken from us far too soon in a car accident. my heart ached for her.

they kept bringing her up through out the night. little comments, a few questions. i loved that she was brought up casually, familiarly, as a normal part of our life.

as i was putting alaythia to bed she said, 'mom, did g'ma brig ever get tired of making french toast?' 'no', i said. 'well, then she liked to cook...just like me'. yes, layth. just. like. you.

and as i sat in the dark, tickling alaythia's back, i cried silent tears. my heart aching for her.

she would have loved you layth. your spunk. your 'girls rule' mentality. your love of life. i'm so sorry you didn't get to meet her. you would have loved her...and she would have absolutely adored you.

Instagram Sunday

2011-09-25T22:21:00.005-04:00

I promise this won't become the only time i post.

lovin' from the brother...she can't get enough!

learning to make hendrix guacamole.

school left waiting to do later in the day.

i was challenged by reading a friend's blog this week,
to try to get in at least one photo with your kids each week.
i'll admit i'm always behind the camera, so they don't have
a lot of pictures with me. this is of the apple pie bakers (with
the pie in the background).

our apple pie.

seeing the lion king in 3-D.

Instagram Sunday

2011-09-18T22:32:00.006-04:00

i started using instagram on my phone to take my photos and add some spunk. my hope in using it was to capture just everyday moments. not the huge events of life, but my everyday experiences to help me remember. my hope is to share with you my ordinary moments once a week through photo. this first time, i pulled several of my favorites since i started using the program (from the 114 that i have).

apples

2011-09-17T17:01:00.004-04:00

we went apple picking this morning up in indiana. it was a glorious day. sunny, but not hot. because of the civil war football game today (UK vs. UofL) we practically had the place to ourselves. we went with friends and the 6 kids ran through the orchards without fear of bothering someone else.

alaythia had decided that she wanted to bake an apple pie with some of our harvest. i was going to attempt it, but then was reminded of a family recipe for 'fresh apple cake'. it is in the oven as i type. i thought i would share the recipe since it was very kid friendly in terms of cooking together.

i probably still will bake a pie with the remainder of our apples. but for now, this was perfect! thanks aunt dianne for sharing the recipe!

FRESH APPLE CAKE

MIX: 4 C. DICED APPLES (DO NOT PEEL)
2 C. SUGAR

ADD: 1/2 C. VEGETABLE OIL
2 EGGS, BEATEN
2 tsp VANILLA

MIX THE FOLLOWING INGREDIENTS AND ADD TO ABOVE:
2 C. FLOUR
2 tsp BAKING SODA
2 tsp CINNAMON
1 tsp SALT

BAKE IN GREASED 9X13 PAN @ 350 DEGREES FOR 45 MINUTES. THIS CAKE IS DELICIOUS WITH OUT ANY FROSTING. YOU CAN ADD A BIT OF FRESH WHIPPED CREAM OR VANILLA ICE CREAM.

the girls enjoying the harvest a little early....

sara groves is always perfectly timed

2011-09-10T18:34:00.005-04:00

I believe in a blessing I don’t understand.

I’ve seen rain fall on the wicked and the just

Rain is no measure of his faithfulness

He withholds no good thing from us.

No good thing from us.

I believe in a peace that flows deeper than pain.

The broken find healing and love

Pain is no measure of his faithfulness

He withholds no good thing from us.

No good thing from us.

I will open my hands will open my heart.

I am nodding my head an emphatic yes

to all that you have for me.

I believe in a fountain that will never dry.

Though I’ve thirsted and didn’t have enough.

Thirst is no measure of his faithfulness

He withholds no good thing from us.

No good thing from us.

I will open my hands will open my heart

I will open my hand will open my heart.

I am nodding my head an emphatic

yes to all that you have for me.

my daughters

2011-09-07T21:31:00.006-04:00

recently i have been deeply convicted that i have been failing my daughters.

i grew up in a home where i heard my father praise my mother for the job she was doing. i heard him speak to the value of all her hard work - in the home. and i know, as a result, i knew homemaking was my calling. it was what i aspired to. it's what i grew up valuing and longing for. if you've ever spent any amount of time with me i'm sure you've heard me spout off about it. i believe strongly in it's virtue and value and am quick to give my reasons.

but i've realized recently that i have been failing to pass this on to my own daughters. my own daughters! the future mothers that are living in my home at this very moment. what in the world have i been doing to instill these things that i value, into them?

it's confession time. if i'm honest, in the recent months, i have not been taking joy in my job. i have not found joy in the laundry, in picking up the playroom for the MILLIONTH time. in grocery shopping or scrubbing toilets. i do it, but i don't do it with a happy heart. i had become resentful and irritated. and naively thought that it didn't matter. that as long as it was done, i was doing my duty. duty hear it?... but i realized that my girls are watching! they see (and hear) me complain. they observe my feelings about the whole thing. and they are drawing their own conclusions.

it was shocking for me to realize this. because i DO love being home with my kids. sure it's hard and mind numbing at times. when you're in the trenches it is hard to see anything else but all the walls built up around you. but the reality is i would not do anything else! i would not! and it took stepping back out of it all for a minute (and being kicked in the butt by rachel jankovic) to be reminded of the joy. the true and real joy that comes in laying your life down JOYFULLY for someone else. there is joy there. storehouses full. but it must be a laying down of your entire life. you can't hold any piece of it back. because that one piece can build into resentment, in self entitlement. and suddenly the thing you once longed for and loved has become a burden that you try desperately to shake.

i want my girls (and my son) to know that i love what i do. i don't want to try to fake it so that they think i do. i want them to see and know and experience that i truly do love it - because i do. sure i wish they'd pick up their toys and hit the toilet more often than not... but the reality is, it's my job. it's what i've given my life to. it's what i want to do. and i hope with all my heart that one day my girls will too.

second, i realized that they are reaching an age where i need to start inviting them into my joy of homemaking. the love of taking care of others. it's already there in them. i don't have to muster it up or force it on them. i just need to take the time to encourage what is naturally manifesting itself in their hearts.

alaythia LOVES to cook, but i hate to let her do it. it takes twice the amount of time and makes double the mess. but she wants to do it. she wants to cook and set it on the table and tell everyone that she made it for them - that she is caring for them. she wants to fold the laundry and mop the floor. and i need to let her - and show her - how to do it. invite her into the homemaking that she already desires to do. the things she chooses to do, the things she finds joy in.

sophia loves her baby dolls. she feeds them, pushes them around, sings to them and sleeps with them. she's a little mini mama. just the other day i found her in the play room alone wrapping a baby up in a blanket and putting it gently in the bassinet. i want and need to do all i can to encourage this in her. and never, never squelch that desire in her.

i've talked and spouted my opinions long enough. now it is my turn, my chance. to form and grow up two future mothers. serve them joyfully, teach them patiently, love them fully and lay my life down for them. all in hopes that one day, they in turn will do the same.

shift

2011-09-01T07:41:00.006-04:00

i stopped by a friend's house on sophia's birthday. all my kids were in the van strapped in as we chatted for a second. at the end of the conversation she said, 'i remember when my kids were 2, 4 and 6. i felt a significant shift.' i immediately thought, 'yeah, not me. not yet.'

but i have to admit in the last week i have felt that shift.

--------

on monday, our last day of summer, we headed to the science center. i had promised isaiah we would go this summer, and i had to keep my word. it was a fantastic day. it had been over a year since we had been and the kids LOVED it. each of them kept busy for 4 hours. exploring, playing, building. no one was in a stroller, no one was just sitting and watching. i enjoyed interacting - and just standing back and watching each of them discover.

as if it wasn't amazing enough, they had a special temporary exhibit on narnia. isaiah lives and breathes narnia. we read him the books, and then bought the books on CD. everyday that i would let him this summer, he would listen to an entire book on CD. sitting for hours building his world with bionicals, knights, dinosaurs, and listening to the books.

so the exhibit held a special interest for all of us. we walked in to find a huge wardrobe...that you had to walk through to enter the exhibit. you could see (through the fur coat and pine trees) the lampost on the other side. there was quite a bit of apprehension because it was so real and i think they thought if they walked through they would really enter narnia.

we saw peter's armor, lifted swords, sat in the white witches throne... isaiah was quiet and took it all in. his world was coming to life. such an amazing and unexpected opportunity for all the kids.

there was a shift - new understanding, new depth of understanding - for everyone.

-------

school started and that means that the boys are gone all day tuesday and thursday. we had a girly day of tea parties, baby doll play and our own school on tuesday. alaythia is more than ready for school, and after 2 days, it's amazing how she just can't get enough. on tuesday when sophia went down for her nap, we had our own preschool. she worked hard and focused for several hours.

we also baked bread, picked carrots from the garden, mopped the kitchen floor together...and at some point in the day i thought 'surely this must be someone else's life.' it all seemed like something i would hear someone else say they did. not me and my crazy life.

but there was a shift - life seeming more manageable, more space, time to do things together.

--------

the first day of school is an emotional one. but then once you get through the emotion of it all you realize the real work comes the next day when you have to teach. it's a strange dynamic. but this year i was more ready. felt a little more confidence having one year under my belt. we switched to our classroom being in the playroom, where we can all be together.

but this year, instead of the girls just playing as isaiah and i do school, they both want to be involved. they have their table, they want activities too and they did a great job.

last year sophia was taking a nap during school, this year she work on things with us.

last year alaythia couldn't focus, this year she is asking for more worksheets to do.

isaiah sits at his desk (thanks uncle jake) and works hard.

and suddenly i have a classroom of students. and as i watch each of them do their own things at their own pace, a new deep love and gratefulness rises in me. they are all growing, changing, learning - and i get to witness it all.

and there it was again - a realization of the shift.

--------

we've had an exceptional week. God has given us some fantastic days. i'm grateful. feeling full with the richness of life and the new adventures that are waiting for us as the kids continue to grow.

ready

2011-08-30T07:32:00.005-04:00

the days have been filled with getting the boys ready. new clothes, new shoes, lunchboxes, back packs, teacher books, syllabi and all the new curriculum. it's been all leading up to today when they would head off to school. isaiah has felt so much less anxiety this year. he knows the crew, he's met his teacher. it's a big day in that he'll be at school all day long. matt's got a full load of teaching, but in his third year, knows the kids and where he wants to take them. they're ready.

it's been all about them and making sure they're ready. it wasn't until isaiah climbed on my lap last night that i realized i hadn't made any time to prepare myself. sweet boy climbed onto my lap and cried big alligator tears saying that he would miss me. and it was then that i let my heart go there...i would miss him too. a lot.

i know it's only two days. i know i'll get 5 other days of the week with him. i know it's good for him to go to school and make new memories apart from us. but still, from 7am until 4pm (drive time included) is a LONG time to be apart.

alaythia cried big alligator tears this morning at the reality that brother once again was going to have adventures without her. soph woke up and asked for daddy - i told her he and brother were gone at school. 'me too' she said. i listed to them some of the adventures we would have today - just being the girls. all. day. long.

here's to a new beginning and to a great year of hard work, hard play and exceptional learning.

indulging mom on the first day of school.

talking through and speculating the days events.
he was ready and waiting on daddy.

a celebration

2011-08-27T08:10:00.002-04:00

today my entire - and i do mean entire - extended family will gather together to celebrate my grandpa and grandma. professional photos, catering, presents and laughter. i will miss being there tremendously.

love you grandpa and grandma, and i hope you will be shown just how much today.

on motherhood

2011-08-26T08:46:00.004-04:00

so i'm kind of into rachel jankovic. heard of her? she recently posted 3 blog posts on the desiring God blog.

her first post, matt forwarded to me.

her second post, i found myself.

her third i found through her dad posting a tweet about.

her words on motherhood are strong, true...and frankly, nourishment to my soul. she speaks the truth unabashedly. but because of the truth that runs through it, your spirit can't help but cry 'yes! that's right and true!' it's a voice you don't hear much of in this culture.

her dad, influenced my dad greatly in how to raise me. so the things she says, resonate deep in me. when she references things i KNOW what she's talking about. i believed it as a young girl, and i believe it now more than ever. but now it's my turn. my turn to take those truths and pass them on to the next generation. everything i'd want to communicate - she does...and much better than i ever could. she is my age, has kids the same age as mine, she's doing what i'm doing and she's putting voice to it from her perspective. she says what i can't find the words to say myself.

here is a link to the three blog posts. she is also a contributor to the blog femina. she has a book out which i'm just dying to get my hands on. i hear it might be coming my way soon...

sophia at 2 years

2011-08-25T18:45:00.004-04:00

today is sweet sophia's second birthday. the house has been counting down the days. cards have been made, presents wrapped and days planned. as she was the last to wake up this morning, she had a room full of smiling faces greeting her into the day. it took all of 20 seconds before she had her first 'happy birthday' sung to her. by 8:30 she was asking papa and gg to sing it a third time. she has been reveling in the attention.at dinner tonight we went around the table and told soph what it was we loved about her. her cuteness, her love for books and her ability to wrestle. another in our family said she liked her toes and fingers....there is so much to love about sophia - beside the fact that she is so cute sometimes you feel like you're going to explode because you can't take it in.... her infectious joy. she thinks just about anything is hilarious and will shrug her shoulders, scrunch her nose and shake in laughter. when she wakes up we fight over who will go get her as you know you will be greeted with the biggest, sweetest smile. her adventurous spirit. she is unafraid to try new things. whether it's trying to balance on a soccer ball like brother, jumping off a couch into daddy's arms or trying new sauces at chik-fil-a. her love for her family. she wants to be just like her big sister. she wants to be included in everything her brother does. she gives to them, shares with them and wants to please them. she loves her daddy and calls for him when he leaves and when he arrives. and, well, she is MY girl.
tonight isaiah's prayer at dinner thanked God for allowing sophia to be a part of our family. and i know it's truly how we all feel. thankful for this little girl who brings so much to all of our lives.

happy birthday sophia. you could not possibly be loved any more than you already are.

kentucky adventures

2011-08-23T08:31:00.003-04:00

last weekend we had a fun unexpected adventure. we had purchased a groupon several months back to ride a train at the kentucky railway museum. so we packed a lunch and toys to play with and headed out.

the part of the track that we traveled for almost 2 hours was the oldest in kentucky. the kids enjoyed getting to ride the train and might have loved even more having their tickets punched by the conductor!

as we traveled to the train station we realized that we were located just 9 miles from abraham lincoln's boyhood home and is birthplace. so after our train ride we went sight seeing. it was especially fun to do this because the kids were very familiar with lincoln from our trip to rushmore. isaiah had asked tons of questions about the 4 faces on the mountain. matt and i did our best to explain and tell isaiah about who those men were. alaythia wasn't as into the facts, but she definitely recognized the face and was excited to see more of him.

this cabin was located on the property that the lincoln family lived on when abraham was 2 until 7 years old. this was not their actual cabin, but was abraham's best friend's cabin that they had moved to the property. we all climbed in and were amazed at how small it was for a whole family to live in.

the land has remained mostly the same since the lincoln's lived there. 250 acres pretty much untouched. the kids loved running in the fields.

i had to snap this picture of isaiah... abraham was this exact age when he was roaming these kenucky fields. couldn't help but wonder, as isaiah grows up in kentucky as well, where his life will take him and what he will accomplish.

abrahams birth place is just miles away and it much more built up. the washington monument was actually fashioned after this one. they had a lot of great activities and museums. they had the lincoln family bible on display...love this!

the kids climbed all 56 stairs, representing each year of his life, and went inside to read and learn more about this great man.

it was a fantastic family day and such a cool outing. and we did not plan it or expect it. made me appreciate where we live and grow my love for kentucky.

school

2011-08-23T08:14:00.002-04:00

we're gearing up for school around here. one week from today we'll be in full swing.

i was thinking the other day how different this year feels than last year. i was an emotional wreck...crying over mis-punched holes. i had no idea what to expect and was completely freaked out about my son going to school.

this year we've made progress. we've transformed the playroom into a classroom. bulletin board, desks, tables. i have a plan and am actually looking forward to the year. isaiah doesn't have anxiety, he's looking forward to it too. he'll be gone all day on tuesday and thursday...and he couldn't be more ready.

and believe it or not, yesterday i thought, 'we need school. we're ready.' our days feel long, and the kids are actually asking for it. i'm thankful for those feelings, i'm sure we'll need them a few weeks in.

going home

2011-08-10T14:41:00.005-04:00

we decided that on our way home we would add 300 miles trip. yeah, cause we like to roll like that.... actually we decided that we wanted to see some sights instead of blitzing it like we did on the way out.

our first stop was yellowstone. let me just say, getting TO yellowstone, driving THROUGH yellowstone and driving OUT of yellowstone
were some amazing memories! the beauty is indescribable. the pictures don't do justice. God creation screams of who he is - mighty, awe-inspiring, creative - and to be there in the midst of it... well, let's just say we can't wait to go back!

the kids didn't know why it was called yellowstone...
they were thrilled when they actually found some yellow stone!

on the way out of yellowstone we were driving on highway 14 and it was like our own personal safari trip. around every corner we saw wildlife. baby moose, bucks, eagles, big horned rams... we had been playing a game the whole trip where if you saw a deer you got $1. we had to stop playing the game because the kids were making too much money!

our other destination point was mt. rushmore. man-made, but also awe-inspiring. the kids thought it was so cool that it was carved by explosives.

isaiah's questions were endless about the 4 men on the mountain
and it started a lot of really great conversations.

we were very glad that we made the extra trek - but i would say we are looking forward to going back when the kids are older and can grasp more fully the magnitude of the things they were witnessing.

but after 5 weeks and 6000 miles i will say it was nice to be home.

the great northwest

2011-08-08T13:39:00.009-04:00

our trip to the northwest will have to be summed up in pictures. as we did so many different things. these are not in chronological order.

grandma and soph snuggling on the porch in their pj's.
the girls LOVED all of grandmas beautiful flowers!

uncle jake and auntie rose were gone when we first arrived.

we were so excited to see them when they got home!

no trip to the northwest would be complete without a boat trip
on the columbia river with great uncle garry and great aunt sandi.
but any good boat ride must start with a yummy snack...which
great aunt sandi always has waiting for us!
we boated to this cafe for lunch. the girls love their great uncle garry!

daddy and his girls.

isaiah and alaythia both tubed behind the boat with daddy.
they were so brave and i'm positive mommy was more scared than they were.
these faces sum it up. they would have stayed out there forever!

we went to sauvie island one afternoon and picked raspberries and
blueberries. i know we ate more than we ended up buying.

grandma and alaythia ready for the adventures of the day!

we were so excited when we found out we were going to be in the area
for the Seattle to Portland bike race. it was a tradition of ours
when we lived there. we never rode it, but we would travel
to seattle the night before and drive down, encouraging grandpa
along the 206 mile ride. this picture was at mile 175. we're so proud
to have a grandpa that can do this!

another part of the tradition of the bike race is isaiah crossing the finish
line with grandpa. when he was 3 he had his mini-bike with training wheels
and rode the last block with him. this year, with his new bike from grandpa,
he met up with him along the bike route and rode the last 5 miles with him.
this was no big deal for isaiah as he and grandpa went on several bike rides
while we were there. one for 7 miles and one for 14 miles.

grandpa with his girls after the race.

part of what we love about the STP race is getting to go to seattle to see family.
this is a picture of the kids with their great-great aunt lea.

MY auntie...and my namesake.

the 4th of july held a huge bash at adam and emily's. we loved seeing old friends
and getting to hang out. isaiah and alaythia got reaquainted with sam and henry.
they can't remember and hours and hours and hours they spent together
when they were younger. all four birthdays lay between a 2 week period.
rebecca and i lived a lot of life together....

uncle adam and auntie emliy lived it up with the kids while we were there.
the coolest event was the auntie/uncle date they planned.
adam, em, jake and rose took the kids for the night. they played mini-golf,
went to a toy store to pick out whatever toy they wanted, went out to dinner, spent
the night at adam and emily's house, and even went to the park the following
morning in their PJs. we are blessed to have such loving, thoughtful and
generous aunties and uncles!

the grand-kid garden. grandma had several flowers that needed to be planted,
and big space for them to go. she decided that she would let the kids plant them
where ever and how ever they wanted. this is what we ended up with. the flowers
didn't make it out of the pots, but they did get watered and cared for everyday!

grandpa and isaiah spent hours reading together. grandpa started a new
series with isaiah called, 'tales of the kingdom'. this was a childhood
favorite of ours growing up and it has been so fun to watch it become
a part of isaiah's growing up too.

we'll end with a picture of moses. he is the best dog ever
and provided lots of entertainment for the kids.

10 hours is nothing

2011-08-05T15:47:00.003-04:00

we said our good-byes in rocklin...which are always hard...and started our 10 hour drive to vancouver. 10 hours felt like nothing since that was what one day was for us on the way out. we decided that we were going to stop along the way for a swim. we tried to stop at lake shasta, but could not find any spot to get in without a boat. we kept driving north and found lake siskiyou. it was perfect for us.

we had the beach to ourselves and the view was breath-taking!
as you can see there was still snow on the mountain so you can imagine how FREEZING the water was. but daddy, being the ever brave one, went for a nice refreshing swim!
we arrived in vancouver about 9:00pm to grandma and grandpa waiting for us on the porch.

rocklin

2011-08-05T08:41:00.006-04:00

our first stop, after our 16 hour day was papa and gg's in rocklin, california. we got in late and got settled and i must admit, being on the west coast felt good.

the next morning the cousins were reunited and it was such a sweet moment. caleb knocked on the door, isaiah and alaythia went running and screaming for the door. it opened, they locked their arms around each other and caleb proclaimed, 'it's been so long since i've seen you!' and that was all it took. their adventures were endless.

we really didn't need to leave papa and gg's. we had everything a kid could want. the pool (which we swam in almost every afternoon), a new play structure which we affectionately named 'papa gg park', and endless toys - both old and new. it was two weeks full of play, memories, play and more sweet memories in every combination possible.

hannah and sophia were two peas in a pod. now that hannah is walking
they had much more fun playing and exploring at their own pace.

even when we weren't IN the pool, it still provided tons of entertainment.

it took hannah a few days, but she finally warmed up to uncle matt.
he worked hard to get her to the point where he could hold her.

everything was an adventure, even cotton candy.

gg and soph getting some alone time in at 'papa gg park'.

the older cousins went to see cars 2 together. this was caleb's first
movie in a move theater.

papa made sophia her own bed poolside. we joked that she was at a
resort with such great service!

papa and isaiah rockin' the uniforms from isaiah's golf team. they took
daddy with them and golfed nine holes.

my grandparents drove to see us one afternoon. we had a great time visiting with them
and meeting their dog ella. this was their first time to meet sophia.

sophia became a pro at the slide at 'papa gg park'.

the rock wall was just for the big kids.

gg didn't hesitate to jump in with the kids at an indoor playground.
she even had war wounds to prove it!

the cousins...on the tramp. the boys spent hours and hours out here.

by the end of our weeks there, both kids were in the pool without
floaties. isaiah was even swimming from one side of the pool
to the other. amazing how much progress they made!

legos from when daddy was a kid. again, hour spent here creating and
playing together.

the fort at 'papa gg park'

'the camping story'

2011-08-01T08:43:00.006-04:00

our brilliant idea was to camp on the way out to california. we have an awesome tent and had great experience earlier in the summer camping as a family. it was cheaper and i didn't have to face my fear of bed bugs in hotels. matt and i were really excited about this part of the trip. but our first night ended up being one crazy event after another...

our first stop was in topeka, kansas. we got in at 5:30pm and matt and i set up camp. 90 degrees with who knows how much humidity....but there was a pond to swim in...

and friends for the kids to play with at the neighboring campsite. we even built a fire to do smores and totally disregarded the heat.

after being at the camp for over an hour i opened the door to the van to hear the a/c running....but the engine wasn't on. we had killed our battery. we thought about waiting until the morning to ask for a jump, but decided to take care of it that evening. a neighbor drove over and gave us a jump. turned out this was the best decision we could have made and we had no idea....

as we were going to bed, the heat combined with too many smores didn't agree with isaiah.

in bed, with pj's on, reading books, he threw up all over our sheets and blankets. after staring in disbelief and having that reoccurring thought that comes to me when vomit is suddenly a part of my life ('i'm not the mother here, someone else surely is') i jumped in to action. threw the sheets out of the tent, remade beds, went to neighbor to ask for a pot in case we were in for a long night of the same thing.

the plan was to take a shower and get clean before bed, but not knowing what the night held - and being so extremely exhausted matt and i fell into bed - not even bothering to change out of our clothes. we laid in bed on our side of the tent and tried to sleep. no wind - no breeze - 90 degrees - humidity. even with all the walls zipped down and screens all around us, we found it hard to breath let alone sleep. but eventually sleep came.

at 12:30 we were jerked awake by thunder ripping through the sky and lightening lighting up everything. we rushed around the tent zipping all the sides up, closing all the windows before the down pour. and down pour it did. the storm lasted for 2 hours. we laid there awake, waiting for it to pass. the kids did great and surprisingly slept through it all.

sleep came again until 4:30. the wind was whipping and the tent was shaking, corners lifting off the ground. the rain had made the ground so soft that it had pulled all the stakes up. matt went out in the wind to try to re-stake, but the wind was just too strong for the soggy ground. the tent was moving at such force, the sound woke the kids up and they were huddled under the blankets in fear. i checked the weather on my phone and read that wind 40-55 miles per hour were expected to come through, with a huge storm following. as we all laid there awake, matt made an executive decision. 'let's get out of here!' he said. and we all snapped into action.

sophia was still asleep in her pak-n-play, so we put just isaiah and alaythia into the van. matt started outside, literally throwing all of our belongings into the van (including the throw up blankets). i worked inside the tent. i deflated the beds, put clothes back into the suitcase. and then it happened, the wind picked up the tent. i stumbled backward and sophia's pak-n-play flipped. i screamed for matt who was trying in vain from the outside to hold the tent down. in the dark i searched the ground for sophia. screaming to matt that i couldn't find her. i finally did and picked up my hysterical sweet sophia. the tent was lifting off the ground. it wasn't my brightest idea, but i thought i would just go and stand in the far corner of the tent and hold it down. sophia in arms we stood there while matt screamed at us to get out of the tent. after the third time, i could hear in his voice that he meant business. and at the same moment i realized why, as the wind could have easily picked all of us up again.

hysterical sophia joined her siblings in the van and matt and i collapsed the tent. but everything was still inside. racing the storm that was fast approaching, matt entered the collapsed tent - in the dark - and passed all the items to me through the door. just as the rain arrived we jumped in the car with all of our belongings thrown in behind us. and as we drove through flat kansas at 5:00 in the morning, in the dark, in the safety of our car, God put on the most amazing light show.

it made for a long day of travel...in our SAME clothes from the day before, no brushed teeth, no coffee, disorganization everywhere. but we made it through.

do i even have to say that when we stopped driving that next night...we stayed in a hotel?

overwhelmed

2011-08-01T08:33:00.006-04:00

it's been so long since i blogged, i have thought about it, but it overwhelms me to to try to catch up. so i just skip it. but i don't want to give up. i love blogging. it helps keep a diary of sorts of our life, but also helps me look at life differently. i look for the details in life, it forces me to take more joy in the little things. and i miss that in my life. so while i won't be able to fill life in completely, i'll do my best to fill in the major points.

----------------------

we have had a full summer. we thought it would be a quiet summer of sticking around louisville. we started out with minor league baseball games, a weekend camping trip and zoo trips to the splash park. but soon came an overwhelming desire to see our family and with a spontaneous decision, we were off on our first road trip across the country.

to help us along i had read about tricks to keep the kids occupied. i also had heard from a friend to do 'state line gifts'. every time we crossed a state line, the kids got a new gift or activity. this ended up being the best idea as they pushed us to keep going in hopes of a state line, and it kept them occupied with new things to do. the other brilliant idea that saved us was to take cookie sheets with edges along for each kid. this served as their 'tray' to do activities on and with the edges, it kept all their toys from slipping off. this was a true life saver!

here are some highlights from our time in the car on our way to rocklin.

pipe cleaners turn everyone into harry potter.

isaiah and i passed notes for a while on his dry erase board.

magnetic paper dolls

reading books of course

i might be the most proud of this....with a set of directions i made
balloon animals for them. this was actually swords and flowers here.

lots of coloring

someone in louisville loves you

2011-06-09T20:48:00.005-04:00

the day after awards day we had visitors arrive. uncle michael and auntie hallie stopped by kentucky for a visit! it was their first time in kentucky...and (i'm ashamed to say it) in our home. to say we had a good time would be an understatement. we crammed so much into a few short days.

they played endless games (both kid and adult).
they wrestled and sword fought.
they read books.
and took walks
and had starbucks runs.
and we even cheered at horse races.

the best way to describe it? they gave generously to us. with their resources, with their time, with their love.

we love you michael and hallie...and hope we can be together again soon!

p.s. i just had to include this picture. i love it so much! i snapped this of the two of them walking hand in hand at churchill downs. i love that soph wanted to hold hallie's hand and walked that way for a while. but what makes this picture even more special is that sophia is wearing the dress that alaythia wore to michael and hallie's wedding. but can you see it? the dress is now a part of hallie's life at a different stage...and we couldn't be happier! :)

awards day

2011-06-07T20:30:00.004-04:00

if you're a parent of an elementary grade student, you probably attended an award ceremony at the end of the year. they seem like they are a dime a dozen. so i'm sure it sounds trite that the award ceremony for isaiah was one of the best days of my life.

-----

each student did get an award, but at DSCS each teacher could make up whatever award they wanted to give to the student, depending on the strengths they had observed over the year. some were 'sweet spirit', or 'king of phonograms'. i loved listening to each award given - it gave me a glimpse into each child and who they are. isaiah got the 'leadership award', even though after the ceremony, over lunch, i had to explain to him what leadership is.

i cried when i saw the award printed in the program. see, i spent a lot of time praying for isaiah this year - that he would remember who he was. that he would be true to who i know him to be, and that even when he wasn't in our presence, he would remember what it is to be a Godshall and not be swayed. this award seemed like a confirmation of sorts to these prayers. a testimony to who isaiah is and God's faithfulness to him.

-----

written in the front of the program was a note from the headmaster. part of the note read:

'...Robert Littlejohn said, 'If learning is hard, exceptional learning should be exceptionally hard.' The academic rigor of DSCS has pushed the students father than they would ever attempt to venture by themselves. Those who have faced the challenge have further developed the ability to harness new information through diligent and careful study. These honored students had to embrace true learning in order to meet the high expectations placed on them."

i believe isaiah has done just this - even in kindergarten. i have seen where he started, i was a part of pushing him, and i have seen where he ended up. it has been an exceptional year of learning for him, one that has laid a tremendous foundation - one that can never be taken away. now, more than ever, i am thankful for this school.

-----

a lot of mothering is a daily grind. i've said it here before that it is extremely hard to see the difference you are making. the reality is that most of the time you have to believe it even though you can't see it. because i was a part of isaiah's education this year, i got to see a very definite starting point and a very definite ending. i saw where we started and where we ended up. and i can picture and feel the daily routines that filled the middle. they weren't glamorous. they weren't momentous. we inched our way. we made small steps over a long period of time.

in those moments when i am overcome with guilt or despair that nothing i'm doing is making a difference...when i'm convinced that i am indeed fighting the same battles i always have with them - i can look to this. i have this homeschooling year as a visual aid to help me see. see where the daily, small steps can - over time - make a huge difference. and it was at the award ceremony that i fully realized what a gift this year has been to me. to get to teach isaiah. to get to be intensely involved in his exceptional learning. to build our relationship in a way that we hadn't before.

-----

and so my heart was full...full to overflowing. at the gift of my son. at God's faithfulness to him -- and to me.

soccer season 2011

2011-05-23T08:29:00.006-04:00

isaiah and alaythia both played soccer this season. and they couldn't have been more different seasons...with two totally different kids.

this was alaythia's first time playing. we didn't have high expectations -- as really we had no idea what she would do. before her first game matt whispered to me that this was going to be the most beautiful and joyful thing he's every witnessed. no expectation, no pressure, just joy in watching her play. but our frustration soon surfaced. alaythia picked clovers, played in the net, played with her shadow. if her coach could get 2 quarters out of her that was a good game. her loud mother was screaming from the sideline for her to at least watch the ball.

but i'm happy to say that she might have gotten the most improved player on the team. by the end of the season she actually ran after that ball. she watched it (most of the time), and even started to go and attempt to take the ball from the other team. and honestly it did turn into pure joy at the end. watching her curly hair bounce as she ran down the field. watching her swing her arms over-dramatically as she ran. and watching her 'serious' face as she tried to get the ball.

she was a bit disappointed her trophy wasn't pink...but i think the gold was a fine substitute.

isaiah moved up a division this year. his field is like 3 times as big as his field last year. he was put on a team with a lot of great talent. two of his teammates were the son and daughter of the men's assistant soccer coach at U of L. coach sanchez actually ran several practices -- a HUGE bonus for YMCA soccer. if you'll excuse me and chalk it up to being his mother... isaiah was a thing of beauty out there! no one out worked him. he pushed himself as hard as he could, often playing every quarter. playing with the sanchez kids upped his game. his passing, feel of the field and overall understanding of the strategy of the game improved tremendously. it is safe to say that watching isaiah play was the highlight of our week. i was really impressed with his talent, but more than that his character that stood out to all that interacted with him.

the two players.

it would be wrong of me not to mention the best cheerleader ever. who attended practices and games with patience and endurance. and who really cheered for her big brother and sister. often you could hear (after mommy gave a yell) 'go zay!' or 'go ssss!' being hauled from place to place...being fed snacks and toys to help her get through the game.

yes, two different seasons for sure. but we felt the tremendous blessing of getting to watch our children -- in all their differences, beauty and health. we know we are blessed.

first and last

2011-05-19T08:21:00.003-04:00

i know he's sad. but he doesn't have words to put to his emotion. he asks to pray each night before dinner - his prayer revolves around thanking God for getting him to the edge of kindergarten. he thanks Him for helping him with all his hard work and 'how far he's come'. with a quivery voice he mentions at random times, 'thursday is my last day of school'. he's organized the whole class to do a surprise for his teacher today. with some help from daddy he'll pull it off.

when i pick him up from school in 4 hours - he'll be a 1st grader. unreal.

his first day of kindergarten.

his last day of kindergarten.

the best groupon ever

2011-04-28T22:07:00.006-04:00

it was a mother daughter tea...with princesses.

we arrived and belle and cinderella invited us back to have a party with them. the girls were shown to a huge closet of clothes, boas, crowns and hats. they could pick from whatever they wanted and get dressed up as fancy as they could.

alaythia could not wait to get a picture with belle, her favorite princess.

princess music was blasting while each girl went to belle to get her hair done.

and then to cinderella to get her nails and make up done.

when the girls were all appropriately 'done up' they turned down the lights and belle announced each girl. 'princess alaythia' walked down the isle and struck a pose.

we sat down to tea, juice and cookies with the princesses waiting on us.

in the middle of the tea we were surprised by sleeping beauty who came to play a game with the girls.

they each touched her finger (or pricked it) and then had to go hide. when sleeping beauty found them she gave each of them a kiss (hersheys that is). they played several times and then headed back to their table.

they found a coloring book of princess and an autograph page for the princesses to write a special note to each girl.

we were in the middle of a new game of freeze dance when prince charming arrived carrying pink balloons for each girl.

there probably doesn't need to be much said about how alaythia felt about the night. they only way i got her out the door was because cinderella told her they had to get ready for a ball.

it was a joy to me to watch sweet alaythia and get to be there to watch her bask in the fun of the night!

belle again...as we were in our normal attire...but had to get one more picture.

at one point in the night alaythia went up to her and told her that she loved her.

food

2011-04-23T09:33:00.003-04:00

making hot chocolate on a rainy morning.

enjoying mini-muffins for an after church treat.

donuts as big as your head.

a woman of leisure...eating and reclining.

brownie vultures...lots of help, but lots of eating also.

cobras

2011-04-23T09:18:00.003-04:00

last weekend was thunder over louisville - an airshow and massive firework display. we had some friends invite matt and the older kids to go and see the fighter jets and helicopters as they landed for the event. our friend is in the reserves and therefore could get them in to see everything. so one rainy afternoon they headed out to the airport.

they watched them land and then got to go inside some of the helicopters.
alaythia was a little scared to get in as she had seen them land
and was a bit afraid they would take off while she was inside.

it was such a unique and amazing experience. seeing little isaiah in the cockpit...
made many wonder what he'll do with his life
as he's had so many amazing experiences at such a young age.

gardens

2011-04-23T09:00:00.004-04:00

we have been working hard on the outside of the house. with each year i feel like we get a little more brave on the things we take on and think we can accomplish. my mom and dad were out for a little while and that definitely helped boost my confidence, as i had their help to get started. but like i said last year, i think there is a deep love of gardening that has been inside me that is finding it's way out. taking something plain and adding beauty, planting and nurturing, watching things grow... i love it!

we replanted the bed in the front of the house and took on the rocky bed that runs along the side of the house. we even got some starts from a neighbor to help in our endeavor.

in the back where our garden was last year we planted carrots, peas and artichokes. green beans will go in in a few months. the kids and i took a whole afternoon to clear a new bed on the far side of the house and decided to try some strawberries. i'm not sure we'll get any harvest has we have little bunnies that roam the neighborhood....

strawberry plants

we've had several working lunches at lowes.

alaythia loves the flowers and was very involved in getting things done.

the finished product with everything planted and with mulch.
i wish i had a before picture....

thanks mom and dad for all your help to get it done!

spring

2011-04-23T08:51:00.003-04:00

we're well into spring here. the weather has allowed us lots of play time outside, soccer, golf and trips to the zoo with friends. it's been a long winter and we are basking in the warm weather and all the beauty and freedom it brings with it!

teach us to pray

2011-03-15T12:47:00.002-04:00

in the MIDDLE of dinner when sophia reached out both of her hands and said, 'ma! da! ma! da!' i couldn't figure out what she wanted. i offered her everything that was on the table and could not please her. so finally i just offered her my hand. she then turned to matt holding out her hand, 'da! da!' until he too offered his hand. she bowed her head and waited.

she wanted to pray.

i looked at matt and he offered simple one line prayer. when we said amen she raised her head and sighed with a smile.

dinner continued until - hands extended - sophia started in, 'ma! da!' this time we knew what she wanted. so we held out our hands and matt again offered a simple but different prayer.

and this is how it goes every night at dinner - over and over and over.

when we first sit down to eat, the family hold hands, bows our heads and prays. it happens naturally and routinely. if i'm honest i am not thinking about what it's teaching my kids or even that it is a 'teaching moment'. i try so hard in other parts of my day to notice and take advantage of 'teachable moments', but it's not even crossing my mind at that point of the day. maybe that's how it's supposed to happen though. not stressing over these 'teachable moments', but your relationship with the Lord just happening and them observing. but that's not really what this post is about...

it's about how in the last few weeks, sophia has taught us how to pray. in short bursts, in the middle of conversations, smack dab in the middle of an argument. all of the sudden little soph will call us to pray and the entire family will just stop what they're doing and pray. mid-sentence, mid-bite. we drop our things, we hold hands and we pray. matt and i take turns saying short prayers. in the beginning they were simply something to appease sophia, but now they have developed into simple, short, deep, rich, in-the-moment outpourings to God.

and when the amen is given soph raises her head, sighs and gives us a grin.

4 years

2011-03-13T21:23:00.003-04:00

(alaythia in a dress from hong kong that my grandparents
brought back for me when i was in elementary school.)

i find myself staring. all hints of baby-ness are gone. her last stomach bug even rid of her last bit of baby chunk. she's a girl. not a toddler, not a preschooler - but a young girl.

her life is so wrapped up in her brother's life. his friends are her friends, although most she never even talks to. so it was difficult to figure out who to invite for a party. most of her 'friends' are 6 year old boys who would never come to a princess party.

so we decided to go girl-out. grandma was in town and did it up right. we booked a hotel room for just alaythia, her grandma and me. we had a tea party, we watched movies, we went swimming. we had starbucks in bed and played hide-n-go seek. she feel asleep sandwiched between us, each singing, one playing with her hair and one tickling her back.

alaythia is nurturing and kind. she's smart and funny. she is opinionated and stubborn. perfectly comfortable in who she is and what she wants. her personality and her determination are astonishing to encounter. she's hungry to learn eagerly joining us with school. she loves to show off what she knows to anyone who will listen. she loves princesses and weapons, flowers and movies, dance and soccer.

simply put - she is her own girl. for example, today she had a beautiful floral dress on, with two pistols in their holster around her waist, polka dot rain boots on her feet and wild hair whipping in the wind. as he watched her run around the front yard, i wish you could have seen her dad's face beam.

this young girl - who is so much i'm not - brings so much living to my life. and she is much more than i could have ever imagined in a daughter. she's an amazing little girl, and celebrating her 4 years of life is such a joy.

6 years

2011-03-13T20:57:00.004-04:00

isaiah celebrated 6 years of life and i didn't post one thing about it. but that's not to say we didn't celebrate. instead, it's like we've been celebrating for 6 weeks.

-we blew out candle and opened presents with cousin caleb and hannah when they were here.
-alaythia got sick the day before his scheduled birthday party, so we had to postpone. but eventually six of his bestest friends came to celebrate with him.
-as luck would have it, we had no school on his actual birthday and grandma was in town. so we headed to an indoor waterpark where isaiah went down his first adult slide!

isaiah is every bit six years old. he's lost five teeth, he's reading easily, he's two thirds of the way through kindergarten. he is on his school's golf team and is set to start soccer next week. he loves football - especially his fantasy league of which he invited his male (and one female) family members to play. he is active, sensitive and smart. he's everything i could ever hope for in a son.

while i'm usually stunned with how mature he's getting just the other night, he crawled up into my lap before bed and asked me to rock him. knowing that snuggle time is VERY rare and will soon not be something he ever desires - i ate up the chance - holding his two younger sisters at bay.

i sat in the same gliding rocking chair i bought before he was born. and like most of the nights of his first year of life - put him on my shoulder and rocked him. although how different it felt, his feet hitting my shins and barely being able to hold his weight with my arms. as i rocked i talked to him about all the 'alone' time we got when he was young. about playing with toys and crawling under the kitchen table to look at the mirror. about lunch dates and walks in the sunshine. how he would suck his two middle fingers and that at 8 months he could eat a whole chicken breast for dinner.

he laughed, i rocked -- and my heart was full. these have been 6 wonderful years of life with the boy God has given me.

too funny to hold back anymore

2011-02-22T14:42:00.004-05:00

at dinner: 'daddy hurry! i need some milk, my tongue is spicing!'

an excuse why a child can't eat the dinner in front of them: 'i think i'm allergic to crunchy things.'

isaiah warning daddy about mommy as they play a game of memory. 'watch out daddy she's smart, she's got a big brain like a troodon!' (a type of dinosaur)

while playing some baseball isaiah says: 'dad i keep striking your balls out!'

the queen of mixing up her letters....mommy asks, 'alaythia, why are your hands down your pants?' alaythia answers, 'my utt is bitching.'

sophia swings a light saber at mommy and alaythia. alaythia says: 'don't hit us, we're your parents!'

alaythia trying to explain to daddy why she prefers to snuggle with mommy, 'daddy, don't feel bad, she just has claws like a dinosaur.' (she likes my nails tickling her back).

mommy says, 'are you picking your nose and then touching my computer?!' child turns, chomping. 'are you eating it too?! are you picking your nose, then eating it and THEN touching my computer?!' child matter of factly - 'no!...i'm not touching your computer.'

somethin' about you

2011-02-21T18:32:00.003-05:00

it didn't matter what you were doing. if you were upstairs in your room or in the kitchen eating. anyone could start it. in the early days of napster when we were in awe of the music that was at our finger tips...

the music was always loud. and whoever started it on the stereo swayed waiting for others to join them. i remember one dance in particular. i was upstairs in the house with plum carpet. i heard the music start...i ran to the landing of the stairs to look who had beckoned us to come and dance. i found my mom in the living room swaying her arm like a guitar waiting for her grown children to come and join her. from my perch i saw jake come around the corner, adam pop up off the couch, the music and mom calling them.

and that made it all the more sweet tonight. when isaiah picked that same song, turned it up and started dancing. his sister finished her dinner faster, the baby toppled off mommy's lap to join in too. and there i was, watching the next generation. a different family - but the same blood running through their veins. a family who can't help but move together and dance.

home

2011-02-19T13:25:00.003-05:00

where to begin. it's been a hard couple months. still is in a lot of ways. i have been struggling with seeing the good in life. fighting my own demons, fighting to see the truth. i have not totally overcome these things (can we ever?) but as was said to me yesterday...life isn't always rosey. and it's more real to share that, then to pretend all is well. i think my silence here is proof enough sometimes.

the sun is out and i can feel myself waking up. waking up to the realities of my life, the sun (and Son) shining new light on the life that i lead. i desire to build a home. desire to create a life for my family full of memories. smells, tastes, celebration and joy. i know most of it starts with me, as my job is to make this house a home. a place of freedom. a place of welcome.

something that is not valued much anymore. and we as homemakers are just as much to blame. not valuing it ourselves, saying to others we're 'just' homemakers. filling our lives with everything but hospitality. being efficient instead of being detailed. detailed in paying attention to the people around us that we have been given charge to care for.

i see their little faces, i hear their thoughts spoken. i get one chance. to take it in. to weave them a tapestry that will forever be their backdrop.

i don't want guilt. i don't want pressure. but i do want to do it well.

---------

most thoughts regarding this are being pulled from: real love for real life: the art and work of caring by andi ashworth.

17 months

2011-01-18T11:56:00.005-05:00

a day in the life of sophia at 17 months

-wake up about 7am calling for brother to get you out of your crib.

-while brother and sister watch some t.v., you eat some breakfast and roam around. t.v. is totally not interesting to you.
-ask mommy to read 'wheels on the bus' 4 or 5 times
-play anything brother and sister are playing - including but not limited to:
dance parties: when the music starts, no matter what you are doing, you 'run' to living room to join.
hide-n-seek: you count with mommy and are the best finder. when it's your turn to hide you will even lay in a box with a blaket over you, waiting to be found.
scare monster: mommy's favorite game that you love too. you will come around a corner and growl at whoever is waiting.
chase and wrestling: you are unafraid to join in the crazy chaos that your brother, sister and dad create.
-sneak into daddy's office and 'study' with him.

-copy your big sister down to the clothes she's wearing and movements she makes.

-you decide you're not tired and stop taking morning naps, much to mommy's panic
-read 'wheels on the bus' 4 or 5 times
-have some lunch, throw your food all over the floor

-take an afternoon nap
-help mommy with the dishes - putting them in, taking them out, looking at your reflection in the door.
-sit outside of daddy's shut office door and call for him, because you'll have to learn (like your brother and sister did before you) that even though daddy is home, he's working and can't play. such a hard concept to get.
-ask mommy to read berenstain bears, and sit for the whole book
-read 'wheels on the bus' 4 or 5 times
-eat dinner and be the best eater out of all of your siblings
-help pick up the toys...best out of all of your siblings
-play anything brother and sister are playing - see above description

-read 'wheels on the bus' 4 or 5 times
-brush your teeth happily and merrily
-lay down and go to sleep after some snuggling and singing

kirkland signature diapers and wipes

2011-01-18T09:11:00.003-05:00

older

2011-01-17T21:44:00.003-05:00

it's nice having a third parent in the house. when the two of you are tapped out the third can swoop in and take over.

what?! you don't have three adults living in your house? well, neither do i, but i have one heck of a 5 year old that rose to the occasion tonight.

alaythia would not eat her dinner. others were being bathed, the dishes were done and there she was still hysterical because she 'just couldn't' eat one more bite of broccoli. isaiah decided to end his bath early so he could go and help her finish. all his own idea. he spoke her language, had patience and coddled when we could do no more. we were tapped out and he got the job done.

he was sitting in the living room tonight when i came storming out of the bathroom. i threw my hands in the air and matt knew it was his turn to take over. isaiah snuggled up next to me asking me what was wrong. i told him i get so frustrated sometimes and i just have to walk away. he put his head on my shoulder and said, 'i know, sometimes i get frustrated with that too.' he and i sitting on the couch sharing our frustrations and gaining support.

during the bedtime routine i was reading to alaythia, matt to isaiah. soph was wandering from parent to parent asking for a book to be read. (poor third child). isaiah decided he would stop his book and read to her. little soph climbed up on the couch next to him, thumb in mouth. as he made is way through it she would occasionally look over at him as he read. and yes, he even read it a second time.

----------------------

i was walking through the snow with him the other day, just he and i. he felt old. i felt old. it's different when it's just the two of us. a mother to an almost six year old. no baby on hip, no 3 year old to corral. just walking with my hand resting gently on his neck, talking about life. he's wise, and caring. sensitive and smart. he's growing into a little man that i LOVE to be with.

help for haiti

2011-01-13T23:09:00.002-05:00

check this out. a friend in our community group did the story. had to pass it on!

difference

2011-01-10T10:35:00.004-05:00

last year

this year

three years and 1o months ago

2 weeks ago

2011-01-09T13:24:00.002-05:00

i'm getting complaints from people. they are tired of looking at woody. really tired.

this past holiday season has been one of a lot of introspection for me. not that it hasn't been extremely busy, very intense and full of sickness. honestly, i haven't had a lot of time for introspection. but in being stretched to my limits, in the circumstances that i've been walking through, i am discovering and refining who i am - and who i want to be.

i have been given clarity. recognizing lies that i believe, and have believed for a long time. they have grown and taken root, shaping who i am. it's the LORD revealing the reality of how i live my life, giving me a vision for how it should be. sloughing off the things that need to go. i'm grateful. and excited for what it could mean for my life and what it could mean for the people i am seeking to grow.

2010-12-10T18:20:00.003-05:00

for some reason, i keep expecting them to pop up and say hi.

in all of life

2010-12-05T22:17:00.005-05:00

isaiah's school christmas concert was on friday night. a school wide concert where he had two songs to sing. the girls dressed in their fancy christmas dresses, daddy proudly showed them off to colleagues and parents of his students.

isaiah and his classmates were dressed as lambs. he was handsome even dressed up. i loved watching him in the back row with all his classmates. my son -with his friends - apart from me. laughing, playing, talking. waiting until it was his turn.

the older kids filed onto the stage, the conductor readied them. the music began, the choir started to sing, the conductor waved her hands. and sweet sophia on daddy's lap, stood up, waved her hands and started to sing as well. i watched from the left as daddy encouraged but shushed our budding songstress. my heart full at her joyful response to the music.

when isaiah's time came and he paraded down the isle i felt that burning pride. that feeling that no kid could ever be so handsome. later i found out he was saying to himself as he walked, 'why am i doing this? this is so embarrassing!' it's was a grand chapel, with bright lights. i guess i could have prepared him a little more.

but he sang out - unafraid. signing the words he sang. words about Jesus our beautiful, wonderful savior. the king of everything.

his sister, not really aware of concert etiquette, yelled out to her brother. alaythia waved and called, seemingly desperate for him to know that she was there. that she loved him and was proud of him - all things she told him over and over in the car on the way home.

as we snuggled before bed and recounted the night isaiah asked us to name our favorite part...second favorite part and so on down the line.

you isaiah. you alaythia. you sophia. you are my favorite parts. not just about the concert, but in all of life.

thanksgiving

2010-11-28T22:55:00.004-05:00

i can't take the credit. i didn't take the pictures. but i'll let them do the talking.

it did my heart good to have my family in my home...together.

last week in atlanta

2010-11-23T09:52:00.008-05:00

we were in atlanta last week. and what a week we had. matt was presenting a paper at a conference in the city and a friend invited us to come to her parent's house and stay while he was gone.

the stringer family opened their home to us and i have to say, the hospitality and generosity was like nothing i've ever experienced before.

i am not a good receiver...and i got schooled this last week. home cooked meals, a beautiful home, specially planned events just for us, 20+ acres to explore, tractor rides and a cook out. yeah. it was pretty unbelievable.

we found a park on a lake one day...

alaythia took kubota rides just about every day around the 20 acres.

isaiah helped mr. stringer get the fire ready for the cook out.

to top it off, we got to see a great friend who was also in town for the conference. she extended her stay to hang out with us. we went to the georgia aquarium and coke museum and what a day we had. if you are ever in the area, those two things are a must.

we loved having aunt dana with us!

everyone was working hard...

the last room of the museum is a tasting room.
there are fountain machines everywhere with different coke products
from around the world. so you grabbed a cup and tried whatever you wanted.
the kids thought they were pretty cool....

as you left the museum you got to grab a bottle of coke.

in this picture, they are on a rush from bucket loads of HiC....

thanks again to the stringers for hosting us in your amazing home. and to aunt dana for staying to hang out with us!

redeeming myself

2010-11-23T09:30:00.005-05:00

i remember in college i had a roommate that hated the tradition of christmas cards. i remember her saying how she hoped the tradition would die with our generation. i vowed to her i would keep it alive. even last year, when i had to order a double set because i screwed up our first set of 100 -- i was not deterred. (although my husband wasn't too happy).

with all the new technology, yes even blogging, it's easier to keep up with people and their lives. but in this digital age, i know i find myself not printing as much pictures, not having peoples faces around my house. and that is why i LOVE christmas cards.

during the holiday season i am eager to see what chrismtas cards arrive each day. i display them around the house as decoration and when the holiday season is over, cut out each picture and post them on our bulletin board for the year.

there are a lot of options out there and this year, i'm hoping to use shutterfly for our christmas cards. there are tons of creative designs and fun ways to show your family. even if i can't get the perfect picture of all of us together, there are options to get individual shots and make it look fabulous. i've used shutterfly for photobooks and stationary and always love how things turn out.

and yes, by writing this post, i'm hoping to redeem myself from last year ordering a double order.

typical morning

2010-11-14T16:09:00.004-05:00

after being without a camera for the past week or so, i am snapping photos like i'll never be able to again.

here's a snapshot of a typical morning in our house.

isaiah starts off the day creating an epic battle.

mommy can't get enough of this toothless grin.

snugglie and sleepy.

creativity - and ready for whatever the day will bring.

swinging in daddy's work chair.

all i want for christmas

2010-11-13T12:42:00.002-05:00

he has lost both top teeth within a week!

the first last

2010-11-10T20:14:00.002-05:00

MATT ATTENDED THE LAST CLASS OF HIS EDUCATION TODAY!

he was done with his required course work last semester. but each student must attend 5 semesters of a colloquium. a meeting once a week with all the new testament faculty and PhD candidates to argue, debate and 'chew the fat' if you will. today was the last day of his 5th semester.

as we were on a family bike ride tonight he said, 'today was my last class ever.' like it was no big deal.

his last class of his formal education. i wonder how many classes he's taken? how long has this journey been anyway?

we're nearing the end people. i am not being naive. i know that writing a dissertation is no small thing. i know it will take more energy and thought than he's had to produce ever in his life before.

but we're at the end. i can see and feel the end. the end. there is one step left. one final step. a huge step - but it's just one huge step.

un-freakin'-believable.

blissfully joyful

2010-11-03T09:11:00.003-04:00

the tornado feels like a lifetime ago. with the kind of week we had coming...it was fitting that it started that way i guess.

on wednesday matt began comprehensive exams that lasted until this past monday. grueling tests all right on top of each other. i have never seen my husband put his head down and plow like that before. it's really been the whole month of october. the intensity of it, the timing and deadlines. the do-or-die mentality.

matt said i was carrying his stress too much. but i couldn't help it. each morning i felt suffocated with the pressure of what he was about to do. on friday, i just couldn't hold it together anymore. it was (what he thought would be) the hardest of the tests and as i watched the clock tick i felt myself beginning to break.

the kids had started some music and were having a dance party together. all happy, all distracted for the moment. so i took the opportunity to go in my room and have a good cry. and boy did it feel good.

as i finished and was composing myself, i noticed the music was a little louder, the song a little faster. when i walked back onto the scene i found the two older kids stripped down to absolutely nothing and sophia in the middle of them, pointer fingers up, pumping the air.

i stared in disbelief and then felt my heart get lighter. the music shook the air, their faces and bodies were so joyful. blissfully joyful. and i thought of their dad, working his guts out at that moment, their mom crying her guts out -- and them -- having no idea.

it's why we remember childhood so fondly. no worries, no cares. it's not because there was no stress. it was there. but we were unaware, blissfully unaware. dancing around naked to our hearts content.

the tests are over, and while we don't have the grades to know officially that matt passed, we feel hopeful. i would say it's safe to say we're basking in each moment together. thankful for 'post comprehensive exam life'.

i prefer earthquakes

2010-10-26T20:57:00.002-04:00

i started my day visiting my friend christi's blog. (you must make it to the end picture and explanation...i laughed for a good long while.) she inspired me. i went to my blog, signed in, clicked on 'new post', determined to take the lemons in life right now and make lemonade.

nope, nothing.

life has been hard around here lately. we've got our heads down and we're plowing. we're tired, but can't let up yet. we've known for a very long time that october was going to be like this. but it doesn't seem to help when you're in the midst of it.

no sleep, sick kids, unimaginably hard comprehensive tests. so i guess it would seem fitting that we faced a tornado today. as if life wasn't throwing enough at us already.

isaiah and matt spent the day at school in the basement. isaiah was in the 'duck & cover' pose for 35 minutes, as he recalls it. matt was with jr. and sr. high schoolers trying to keep them contained.

me? i was at home with the girls, watching the t.v. in terror as i watched the storm head my way. i listened to the weather man tell others 'now is the time to seek protection - now!' i let him tell me what to do, where to go. i'm an earthquake girl. i'm familiar with that natural disaster. tornadoes...well, not so much.

while we did get hit with the 60+ mph wind, and torrential rain. while tornadoes did touch down around us, we came out unscathed. except for the knot in my stomach and mess to clean up. the mess was due to me determining the hall closet was going to be the safest place for me and the girls, so i emptied the entire thing -- making it ready for us to bolt into it if need be.

after everything had passed, my men were home and light rain was falling outside i determined a couple things. facing a tornado puts things into perspective. we're safe. we're together. we're healthy and okay. AND because there is no warning, because you can't watch it come at you, because once you know it's upon you it's over -- i prefer earthquakes.

fun, not scary

2010-10-18T11:52:00.003-04:00

every year the louisville zoo puts on a halloween party for kids. you walk a certain path around the zoo, pick up candy along the way, and you get to meet some of your favorite characters.

we braved it again this year, taking along some of our favorite people.

we had the cutest pink kitty cat.

isaiah and jakob fought everything in sight....

each other

t-rex

even being army guys and knights at the same time.
what more could a little boy want?

i have to say that the highlight for the night was when alaythia had her picture taken with, and got to meet, aurora, cinderella and belle. the look on her face was worth fighting all the crowds. worth all the walking and sweating (it was mid 80's) and all the hassle it was to get dressed up and get there. she was so happy, even standing in line a second time to get a second round of pictures.

onward and upward

2010-10-12T11:00:00.004-04:00

i am coming to terms with the fact that my life is an ever moving journey. one where as soon as i get comfortable and familiar with it, it moves and changes. even ever so slightly. most of the time i think i'm standing still, i can't see the progress or change, but it's happening. i am making progress. and can see the ever so slight changes taking place right now, which really are huge markers.

onward. tomorrow matt will present his prospectus (proposal for his dissertation) to his peers and all the NT faculty. yes, a big day. they will grill him for just over an hour and hopefully he'll come out with their blessing to keep going.

i remember hearing about friends and acquaintances presenting their prospectus. and i can vividly recall the longing that filled me. the longing to be at that stage, to have that marker come...and go. and it felt so distant.

and yet here we are. it's matt's turn. it reminds me that we are continuing to make progress, continuing to move forward in this long journey of a PhD. and once it's passed, we won't have to do it again. i am grateful.

upward. sophia has decided that she can kind of walk... really she can walk, but she has to build her confidence. at this point she loves to push her new baby doll around in a stroller.

at the pumpkin patch she even walked around pushing her own stroller.

and with that my life changes. no crawlers. bigger kids. growing up. deadlines passing. not a completely new stage, but a slight shift that makes a huge difference.

my nemesis has been defeated

2010-10-12T08:05:00.008-04:00

you know how my first trip to the pumpkin patch went. we planned our next visit for this last saturday. i never would have blogged about the flu bug and how 'funny' it was if i would have thought it was still lingering in our house. but sure enough on friday i came down with the sickness.

can't remember the last time those things happened to me.

we had to postpone our apple/pumpkin picking again. it started to grate on me. all my attempts to go and not being able to. it became something that i felt i had to conquer. i couldn't let it get the best of me. so we switched some school days around (the beauty of home schooling) and decided to go yesterday.

didn't matter that it was slated to be 92 degrees.

it was a good time. picking apples, and pumpkins. watching the kids run and play and plan. but let's be honest, the main reason for going is to get the great pictures next to the pumpkins...which of course i didn't get of the three of them together. but still some keepers.

isaiah was oh-so-willing to climb trees for us to get the 'perfect' apple.

alaythia loved to climb under the trees.

on the hunt.

going on a monday was great because we had the pumpkin patch to ourselves.
i let them roam and didn't call them back.

they both were proud of 'their' pumpkin.

and yes, sophia was on this trip with us...but between the 8 pounds of apples, cameras, diaper bags and stroller...mommy had a hard time getting a picture of the one that was at my side!

life in pictures

2010-10-06T08:18:00.003-04:00

working hard

now look at mommy!

self portrait

now make a funny face

poor baby

let's try again

frog princesses

and a star wars brother

highlight

2010-10-05T16:33:00.003-04:00

we've been holed up of recent, with a flu bug. my favorite you know. although i think i'm handing it better this year than i did last year. maybe cause we're all a year older, maybe being in a bigger space so we're not on top of each other while we're sick...

regardless the highlight was driving 50 minutes to the pumpkin patch on saturday, by myself with all the kids because matt was laid out. we were going to go apple picking and then get pumpkins, we had been talking about it for a week. a major undertaking to say the least, but the idea of not going sent the kids into hysteria. we hustled out of the house early and stopped at starbucks on the way out. AS SOON as we got out of the car isaiah says, 'mom, i don't feel good. i haven't been feeling good all morning, but didn't want to tell you because then i thought we wouldn't be able to come.'

i stare in unbelief for a brief second and a cold sweat breaks out at the idea of what might be coming. i know i have to act fast.

i must get sophia in a stroller so that i can put all my attention on isaiah. i strap her in and run to the other side of the field to find a trailer we can hide behind. and...well, you can guess the rest of the story.

it's my nightmare come true. all i remember thinking is that someone else must be the mother, because surely this can't be happening to me.

if he follows in alaythia's footsteps, he'll give more every 45 minutes. we're 50 minutes from home remember. i know the clock is working against me. we get back in the car and start for it. the freeways seem like death traps as i try to get home before he pukes again.

we did make it home, God is so gracious, and it seems we're on the mend. mommy is tired, but at least no one is puking.

now if i can just get the courage to try to go to that pumpkin patch again this weekend...

i love...

2010-09-21T22:04:00.002-04:00

...how my garden fresh cucumbers ooze juicy freshness right after i cut them.
...how alaythia calls her sneezes 'bless yous'.
...how sophia snuggles in at bed time, sucking her thumb and gently rubbing my arm as we sway and sing.
...that even at 5 isaiah will still climb up on my lap for a snuggle.
...how hard my husband works at what he's doing.
...the crisp morning air that has come to louisville.

surprise visit

2010-09-20T08:08:00.004-04:00

she called on wednesday night at 8:30. we talked about the plans of the next day. what i had to do, that she had the day off work. she casually asked, if i thought i could get to the airport at 2:45.

my body was numb. i was reeling and trying to figure it out. and just like that we found out grandma was coming for the weekend. a desire and treat we dared not even ever dream about. not when you live this far away.

so on the way to school i explained to the kids that grandma was coming later that day. they too were shocked. usually it's a major count down when someone is coming to see us. isaiah kept saying, 'today?! today?!'

it was a great trip. the zoo, a neighborhood garage sale, dates and good food. (i think we said it was the most successful garage sales ever, and that's saying a lot since my mom has decades under her belt).

she cleaned my house, did my laundry, gave my husband and i time for a date. it was like she lived here. it was that normal.

thanks grandma for coming to be with us. you know we all love when you are with us.

this picture was taken by someone else at the zoo,
because i chickened out at the last minute and wouldn't go
into the laurakeet landing area.
we took a picture of their screen.
grandma kept her cool and didn't scream, which would have scared the kids...
but she wanted to!

the first 40 years...

2010-09-14T15:07:00.005-04:00

we're settling into our new routine and new life. home schooling is going well, we're still tweaking to fit our life and i feel like everyday it gets better. isaiah is loving his kindergarten class and is making new friends. the girls and i are enjoying our 'girl time' and the little break it brings to have the boys at school a couple days a week.

i think part of my anxiety and emotion regarding all that has been going on, was the anticipation of the change in life. and it was true that we were catapulted into a new phase. just like that we are dealing with 'school age' things.

friends who lie, girls who are mean, new vocabulary and a new level of attitude. in general it is safe to say all three of them have matured leaps and bounds in the past few weeks.

i find myself praying fervently for isaiah as he's at school. that he will be a leader, not a follower. that he will have fun, but will also work hard. that he would be the one who is not mean, and doesn't get pushed around, but protects those who are weak and is not afraid to stand up for what he knows is right. it's a whole new world for him...and me! i find myself remembering conversations my parents had with me, things they said, i hear myself repeating them verbatim to him.

alaythia has a bully in her life. the last few times she's come home from church related activities she tells us about what went on. i know how mean girls can be. it was not easy to watch and listen to my daughter repeat these things to me. i fought every mother-bear urge coursing through my veins, took a deep breath and told her the truth of who she is. and reminded her who she will be.

sophia...well i've affectionately started calling her my tasmanian devil. just yesterday during school, i turned to find her gnawing on a piece of chalk she had pulled from the chalkboard. she's into everything and really fast. all of my whispering in her ear about not becoming a 'crazy' has not worked!

and just like that things have changed. that is the thing about parenting, its never constant, just when you get comfortable, you move to the next phase. a friend gave me a magnet for my birthday a few years ago it said, 'don't worry, the first 40 years of parenting are the hardest.' i laughed when i read it, but i'm starting to think it's the truth!

i make no promises

2010-09-08T13:06:00.002-04:00

i did it.

have you seen me?

i swore i never would, it turned into pride that i wasn't.

but i just joined facebook.

here are my reasons.

i don't have time to talk much on the phone. i really don't have time to even email much anymore. and i have people all over the country. and that circle just keeps widening.

i do have the blog, and you keep up with my life. but i can't keep up with yours.

and so i did it.

i don't know how to use it, i don't understand it. but if you can find me...i would love to be your friend. (i can't believe i just said that!)

ID 2

2010-09-01T15:41:00.003-04:00

well, it's official. i'm a home schooling mom. remember the classical school isaiah is at is a hybrid. so isaiah has his teacher at school two days a week and she send lesson plans home for me to teach 3 days a week. the anxiety of him going to school subsided yesterday afternoon, but as the evening approached i realized today was going to be an even bigger day. at least for me.
but instructional day 2 (ID 2) was a success. we had a fantastic time.

alaythia was SO into doing school also. i had several worksheets for her to do, but she mostly just wanted to join in with us. and she did. isaiah worked hard. he did what i asked and did it well. i'm sure every day won't be like today, but i was so thankful for today. for his hard work and his strong mind.

it was a great day together. and i'm thankful to be doing it. not be thinking about it, wondering how it will go, but to actually be doing it. and i'm thankful to get to be there to teach them, to watch for myself as they work hard and have fun.

isaiah martin's first day of kindergarten

2010-08-31T14:15:00.005-04:00

he went to bed crying happy tears, or so he said. his backpack and lunch box were on the table ready for their last minute items. this morning when we woke him up he was ready. eating his breakfast, brushing his teeth, getting dressed. and when i asked to take his picture this is what i got. looks like he's ready to take on the world huh?

what i had not anticipated at all was alaythia. he went in to wake her up. he was already dressed and he was wearing his backpack around the house. she sat up, wrapped her arms around him and started to bawl. through her sobs and tears she was saying, 'i'm going to miss you so much isaiah!' she did that for the first half hour she was up. sweet alaythia. it was a big day for her too. her best friend was off for a new adventure and she was left at home. another post will have to be about the girl that alaythia is when her big brother isn't around. i am confident this is going to be fantastic for her!

we all drove together letting daddy off early to get to his classroom to welcome his students. when the time came, isaiah walked right into his classroom, found his desk, put his backpack on the back of his chair and started in.

i stood at the door snapping pictures. smiling and waving. he attacked the coloring sheet like it was something to conquer. yes, that's my boy.

all of the sudden daddy appeared behind me. his first class was meeting across the hall from isaiah, so he got to come out and see before the day began. even though i knew they would not see each other, i think it helped tremendously to know he was just across the hall.

the girls and i headed out and strangely, i didn't cry. i had a mom's meeting about class responsibilities i had to hustle off to. we talked logistics. it wasn't until i got home, got the girls settled down...that the tears came.

alaythia and i soothed our pain with a tea party and painting our nails. i even opted for the same sparkles on my toes in a show of solidarity.

we got to go early to pick him up and see his classroom. he was so happy to show us around.

this is friend izek.

this is isaiah's teacher, mrs. bundy.
we were very pleased to find out that she graduated a few years ago from BIOLA!

it was a great day. a new beginning. i'm grateful.

emotional outbursts

2010-08-30T12:22:00.003-04:00

it's understandable. i have every reason. but it pops out at the most unexpected times. i'll burst into tears over uneven hole punches or a mailed package that wasn't done the most efficiently. it's just bubbling at the surface, waiting for something to cause a little crack and then some comes gushing out - uncontrollably gushing out. my poor husband.

it's isaiah starting kindergarten tomorrow. being gone, in his little uniform with his backpack and lunch box. i'll get to walk him into class...and then say goodbye.

it's that i have to teach isaiah kindergarten on wednesday. i can't even imagine how in my already full day i'll ever feel like, 'okay, it's time to do school.'

it's that i don't have a baby in the house anymore. she turned one. and i wasn't ready. i'm no longer in the child bearing years, i'm not even in the baby years anymore. my life is changing. i'm getting older.

it's that i'm weaning sophia. weaning is always hard, regardless of how ready you both are. and she's my last. which makes it harder. but she seems okay, and i am too most times. but at night, in the quiet, when i have time to think...

it's that i said goodbye to one of my best friends last week. she single-handedly made louisville home. and as she and her family spent their last night in louisville spread out on aerobeds in my house, i was acutely reminded of how much she will be missed. as i waved goodbye at 6am the next morning, talking normally about lack of sleep and children, it didn't seem real that she was moving away. but it does now. i miss her. and i still haven't had time to have a good cry about it.

it's that my life has been marked with moving, making great friendships and then saying goodbye. and i'm tired of it.

it's the prospect of what the fall holds. what needs to be accomplished in these next few weeks.

and so, it comes. emotional outbursts about random dumb things. because there is so much else going on inside. as the dishes get done, and the laundry gets put away. as i hem pants and iron shirts -- and try to process my life.

one year

2010-08-25T12:50:00.008-04:00

one year ago today, about this time, sophia was making her entrance into this world. the beautiful, screaming, perfect bundle of love. i remember the overwhelming sense of peace that washed over me as i held her skin to skin wrapped in warm blankets. i was overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness to God for her. for bringing her to us safely, for her perfect face and dark hair.

the next few months proved to be the toughest of my life so far. i remember posting on her 2 month update 'sophia, you have changed our world.' i remember being so tired, so sick, so weary, unable to function. i wasn't filled with joy, the only true thing i could think to say was, 'you have changed our world.'

but then a few weeks later, she got help for the pain she was in and the amount of frustration we felt turned in equal amounts to joy. and since, she has been a pure joy. i mean it with all sincerity that i wish each of you could spend just an hour with her. you would be taken with her sweet spirit, her smiles and easy going personality.

i'm not ready for her to be done being a baby. i want her to say small enough to be in my arms for a while longer. it's fitting that i mourn her babyhood. that i long for her to stay the way she is. but i'm also eagerly anticipating getting to know her more. just like i'm not exactly like either of my brothers, i believe she will not be exactly like isaiah or alaythia (and man are they different). as each day unfolds and as she gets older, my anticipation grows.

she has no desire to stay small, in fact, when she does a 'big kid thing' her face lights up the brightest. i know she longs to be running and romping with them. all in good time sophia, please for your mommy's sake, don't rush it.

we had her birthday party over the weekend. small...but we skyped the family in. it was a sight to see. her in her high chair with two laptops in front of her. papa and gg had decorated the house and themselves for the occasion. my siblings, parents, aunt, uncle and cousins all gathered together to join in. she had 'happy birthday' sung to her from 3 different states at one time. if they all couldn't be with us, that was the next best thing.

tonight when daddy gets home we'll all ride our bikes, and sophia will ride in her new bike trailer she got for her birthday, to the ice cream shop to celebrate our girl. our soaf-a-loaf, our honey-tickles, our sweet baby girl.

doing shows

2010-08-18T22:46:00.005-04:00

when i was little i loved putting on shows. i was the boss, i was in charge. it didn't matter who was around, i would convince you it was the right thing to do - and we would spend a lot of time working on a 'show' to present to the parents. most often than not, my little brothers were the ones that i choreographed.

as an example, when my dad graduated from college, we threw a huge party and what did i want to do for it? a show...for the entire party. i would not be denied. i lip synced to charity church mouse singing 'o happy day' -- with my brothers and a neighbor boy as back up dancers. (wouldn't you love to see that video now!)

i think it's safe to say i spent the majority of my childhood 'doing shows'.

today we spent the day at home and at one point started a dance party. alaythia picked up a wii remote as a microphone and started lip syncing to the song. i thought it would be fun to show the grandparents so i went into the other room to get the camera.

by the time i came back i had it all planned out. alaythia would be in the front as the singer, i would put isaiah on the couch behind her, raised up...a back up dancer. i moved the flowers so i could get a great angle. i told them to hold still until i had the music going. we had to do several takes because of their talking and goofing off.

and then it hit me.

i'm 31 years old and it's different people i'm choreographing, but the reality is, i'm still doing shows for my mommy and daddy.

it's not a mess...

2010-08-16T22:51:00.003-04:00

it's imagination at its height.

my life as a wii game

2010-08-11T15:12:00.007-04:00

we're really into wii around here. there are so many fun and diverse games to play. flying through the air while flapping your arms, sword fighting, archery, frisbee golf. most of the games are testing your balance, your sense of concentration and coordination.

but it hit me today. i live in my own wii game. it's a constant test of my emotional balance, my sense of concentration and my coordination.

take for instance today in the grocery store.

-3 kids
-2 walking on their own.
-you have to push the cart, hold your list, entertain the baby.
-oop! the baby dropped their toy - you must pick it up.
-keep your eye on the 2 walking kids. keeping them off the floor and be careful not to run into their heels.
-oop! you hit a heel. major points deducted!
-remember the point is to get food off the shelf and and into your cart. remember to get your whole list you don't want to come back tomorrow.
-oop! husband calling on the cell. pick up cell, coordinate pick up times, push the cart, entertain the baby, keep older 2 from pulling things off the shelf.
-hurry, time is running out. you only have so much time between naps. baby hasn't eaten lunch yet and missed morning nap. your window of opportunity is quickly diminishing.
-keep older two within eye sight, even while checking out. this tends to be the hardest point of the game, toys and candy tempting them everywhere they look. keep them under control and your emotions under control as all the checkers watch how you do out of the corner of their eye.
-hurry out to the car in the 96 degree heat. make sure you do things in the proper order.
-open van door, tell older two to get in. walk around to other side, start a/c. get baby out of cart, strap baby, strap toddler. unload groceries quickly...they are melting. put cart away.
-PHEW! you made it.

score:
emotional balance - good: i kept kids occupied and didn't lose my cool.
sense of concentration - unmeasurable: not sure if i remembered my whole list or not yet.
coordination - average: hitting the heel with cart really deducted points and cost a lot of time, BUT the baby was entertained and happy for the majority of the trip.

first fruits

2010-08-09T14:09:00.004-04:00

well, the godshall garden has finally produced some food! i never thought i would ever be growing anything. but isaiah really wanted to plant a vegetable garden and so we went for it. we started really late in the season. when we went to buy seeds we had to dig through the boxes of seeds that were being put away for the season. but we got them in the ground none the less. we've each taken turns watering, and we have rejoiced with each new sign of progress. so imagine our amazement today when we harvested this:

little did i know you really can't go wrong in kentucky. it's like a natural green house. the humidity, the sun, the torrential down pours every couple of days. i really can't take credit. it's kind of addicting though. i'm already planning in my head where i can put more beds for next year.

for now, we'll enjoy our cucumbers and tomatoes...

faces

2010-08-08T13:45:00.002-04:00

some help

2010-08-05T06:53:00.004-04:00

i have hesitated sharing this information because i fear you'll think i'm super organized and really on top of things. you know that's not true. you know that i'm white knuckling things, fighting hard to figure it out.

but at the same time, that's why i've wanted to share it. because it's helped me tremendously.

as a mother of young children i feel like i'm constantly fighting the battle of balancing my duties in running a house and spending time with my kids. inevitably i will favor one over the other in a day. at the end of the day when i'm thinking back over the events, i feel guilty. regardless of which way i favored.

a friend had told me about a program she uses and it sounded wonderful, i got all the material and NEVER pulled it out. but as i was falling more and more behind, getting more and overwhelmed, in desperation, i decided one day to give it a try. and i have not looked back since.

how it works. there are 'chores' you do everyday. things you would do normally. laundry, wiping off the kitchen counters, doing dishes. then there is a list of things to do that are just for that day - on a rotation. things like moping and cleaning the toilets.

here's how it's helped me specifically.

MENTAL SPACE: before i would wake up, take inventory of the house (ie: see all that needed to be done) and then work like a mad woman to get it done. it would never all get done and no matter how hard i worked i would still never really feel like i could relax or be satisfied at the end of the day. i would look around and see all that still needed to be done. now, i wake up, look at my very manageable list. and do JUST what's on there. the living room might be dusty, but that's not on my list today, it might be tomorrow, but i don't have to worry about it today. when my list is done, i can relax.

GUILT FREE PLAY: the kids come and ask me to play a game and with no guilt i do it. i no longer need to balance time between housework and kids...there is time for both.

MY HOUSE IS CLEANER & MY LIFE MORE ORGANIZED THEN IT'S EVER BEEN: some examples. it's amazing how things will pop up on there that i have thought about doing, but never in my wildest dreams thought i would ever have time for. like cleaning the blinds above my kitchen sink. they were filthy...gross...and yesterday it was on my list to clean them! or clip the kids nails. sounds stupid, but after isaiah went to a friend's house and asked his friends mother to clip his toenails because they were bothering him...oh i was MORTIFIED. that will never happen again because it popped up on my list two days ago. on my list today...clean out my car. perfect cause there's a nasty smell coming out of it! maybe the biggest plus for me is that i NEVER have to clean a whole bathroom in one day. i might clean a toilet or wash the mirror. or maybe i'll scrub the tub...but not all together. small chunks. manageable chunks.

saturday and sunday are semi-free days. you always have your everyday chores. there is even pampering and hobby time built in.

it appeals to me, checking the boxes, seeing my progress. has given me space, relieved some guilt and helped me be a better mom - i think. so i share it with you. it's not for everyone i'm sure. but it is working for me. you can find it at www.motivatedmoms.com

i have to start somewhere

2010-08-04T13:28:00.005-04:00

my life seems to be barreling forward. like i'm on a train and i can't stop the forward motion. i'm looking at everything that's whizzing by me, wishing i had more time to savor. at the end of the day yesterday i said to matt, 'we have to slow down'. but neither of us had an idea as to how to do it.

i've wanted to record so many things here. wanted to put them down. but my time seems to be so filled up. the days so full of so many different things. no excuse though, i need to make this a priority.

we're down to just a few short weeks before school starts. isaiah will be attending the school matt teaches at. it is a classical school that is a home-schooling hybrid. i will teach him at home three days a week and two days a week he'll go to school and be in a classroom. we are so grateful and thankful that he will be attending this school. we are hopeful for all that this year will hold for him.

all that goodness aside, i find myself in astonishment and in a bit of saddness that our free days of toddler-hood are coming to a close. our days will no longer be filled up with whatever we plan to do. our rhythm will be determined by school. i know i shouldn't be, but i'm surprised at how quickly this all came. and i'm having to get used to the fact that i'm a mother of a school aged child.

isaiah's been playing baseball all summer.

it's coach pitch and he's playing one age group up with 6-8 year olds. it's been really fun to watch him play. the girls and i are his biggest fans and they unfortunately have learned from me how to cheer. yeah, his cheering section is really loud. alaythia can hold her own. although one time, in the middle of an inning she called out to him over and over and when he didn't respond, she just blurted, 'make sure to see if i can get a snack after the game too!'

the older kids are in swimming lessons right now, and i'm thrilled.

i think might get more joy out of it than them. for some reason giving them swim lessons makes me feel like a 'real' parent. strange how certain things make you feel that way. they love their teacher 'miss jessica'. so much so that they have named several toys and dolls after her.

we had an amazing 2+ weeks with grandparents. gg came out first and then grandma and grandpa. we were spoiled and were acutely reminded of the joy it is to be with family. endless games of candyland, park trips, eating out, water parks and bike rides. we are blessed to have the family we do.

11 months

2010-07-25T09:47:00.004-04:00

it feels like life is going by to fast. matt and i were commenting that we wish we had the ability to make time stand still. almost at a year...all her friends starting to try out walking. birthday parties and the mourning of babyhood all around us. while it is going fast, we continue to savor all that sophia is.

she is contented, happy, thoughtful and the definition of a lovie-dovie.

as promised, in a matter of two weeks sophia got 5 teeth. about every 4 days she would pop a new one. she was a trooper though, and we didn't have to many sleepless nights. her toothy grin is all the more fun to see.

she's a chatty kathy (as her grandma dubbed her). she babbles, sings and laughs. she has figured out intonation and uses it well. we're pretty sure that 'ba' is brother as she will call for him when he's not around. and she makes a mix between a 'th' and 'sh' sound for sister. she has started to repeat sounds that you make if you ask her to.

the mama word is a little more hard to come by, so one night while feeding her i just asked, 'sophia, can you please say mama? mama' i stated. she looked at me, paused for dramatic effect and then said, 'mom'. slow and clear.

i haven't pushed sign language with her as i did the others. but she started grunting to get more food and i said, 'sophia, can you say more please?' and did the motions. i did it several times, while repeating it. she watched, studied and then did the motions. that's all it took and she's got the hang of it.

she is a true water baby. we went to a water park last week and she spent the entire time splashing, crawling and sliding in the water.

she's been loving having her grandparents around the last few weeks too....

next up...the big #1.

fourth of july

2010-07-05T09:28:00.008-04:00

we hosted a big party last night for the fourth of july. we had over 30 people here for food, swimming, corn hole tournament and fireworks. it was like part of my soul opened up last night. finally having the ability to host things in my home, and watching my kids make memories like i have as a kid.

i grew up with people around all the time. our house was (and my parents house still is) an open door for people. there was always food and being together, we never needed an excuse to celebrate. i learned from my mom how to host people, how to feed people, how to be hospitable. and i love doing. but since moving to kentucky, we just have not had a home that is conducive to having people over. i have felt stifled, frustrated and like a big part of who i am just couldn't be expressed.

all weekend as we were getting ready for the party, i was overwhelmed with thankfulness once again for this house. as we finished getting ready and i looked around i felt a part of my soul come back to life. as people arrived and i watched the kids play in the two pools we had, as i watched the adults relax, as i helped the babies play with toys in the playroom...my heart overflowed. all felt right.

i kept thanking people again and again for coming over. they were helping me come back to life.

when it came time for fireworks....

there were bucket loads of kids,

the girls clapping in approval,

the boys dancing smoke dances around the fire

and wrestling in between.

just as i remember it being when i was little.

they were surrounded with a large group of people - with their friends. it was so fulfilling to give my kids some of the favorite memories i have as a kid.

it was a good day...a fulfilling day...a day to be thankful for so much. for abundance and a rich life.

together

2010-07-02T08:58:00.004-04:00

we did it. all the kids have transitioned into sleeping together in one room. sophia has been sleeping really well and everyone is healthy right now. we have visitors coming in a week. even though sleep was coming easy, we took the chance and made the change.

that room has become my favorite room in the house.

i love seeing our crib. we have not had it set up since we moved to kentucky - i have missed it. we picked it out before isaiah was born, and it now has held all my babies. their are teeth marks from when isaiah would bite it, there are bumps and scratches from each move. it's not pristine anymore, it shows the wear and tear of being used and moved. but it's ours. i can picture each baby with their face popping over the side. and sophia is no different. sophia loves her big bed and especially loves seeing her brother and sister across the room who are all to willing to coo and comfort her.

i love to walk into the room at night after they all are asleep. by only the light of the night light i can study their soft faces, see their bodies sprawled every which way, watch their chests rise and fall in rhythm. peaceful, rejuvenating sleep. and i love the smell. warm and sweet. a mixture of each of their own individual smells.

i love to lay in bed and know that they all are in one room - together. my life all safe and secure. for some reason it has made me think of the day when they won't all be asleep under my roof. when i won't go to sleep knowing exactly where they are...just feet from me. and it has made me thankful. thankful for this time of life.

10 months

2010-06-25T08:39:00.002-04:00

sophia has made huge strides this month physically! she got her first tooth...finally! and she's working on 5 more literally. (just take a close look at the picture at the bottom of the st. louis post for proof.)

she started pulling up on things all herself and cruising around. she will take off like a bullet if you hold her hands and help her walk. i would love it if she got off her hands and knees and started walking...it can't come soon enough for me! she will spend hours standing up and then falling down on her tush. she's so proud of herself, but she also thinks it's fun. she can get from the crawling position to the sitting position all on her own.

she's full of 'mama' and 'dada' which absolutely melts our hearts.

she doesn't want anything to do with pureed baby food anymore. has to have texture and she likes to do it herself. she loves to eat whatever is on my plate.

she is getting old enough to play 'with' her siblings. the other day i was peeking in on the girls while they were in the playroom and i saw them sitting facing each other hugging and laughing, pushing and then laughing.

i am in love with her smallness, how she curls up in my lap. her sweet face, soft cheeks and wet kisses. her laugh and her hands that pat me. i am starting to miss the baby-ness already. we're almost to the end of baby years in this house... on one hand i'm thrilled, and sometimes i don't feel ready at all.

sweet sophia, you continue to be my joy.

st. louis

2010-06-18T21:19:00.008-04:00

we decided last week that we were going to take a family vacation. we had heard what a great place st. louis is for families, so we decided to go.

it was a fantastic time. and as a friend told me today on the way home as i was telling her i'm not rested at all...when the kids are young the goal of vacations is not rest but memories made. if that is our measuring stick, then i would say this trip was a success.

we stayed downtown literally across the street from the arch. the first thing the girls did was snuggle in the beds.isaiah jumped from bed to bed.soph had to check out the view.that night we went to america's incredible pizza which is a chuck e cheese on major steroids. it was SO MUCH FUN. we drove race cars, played mini golf, and bowled. we also rode rides and played games. an hour and half of unlimited fun!

the next day we spent the entire day at the magic house. if you are ever near st. louis and have kids it is a MUST. we literally spent all day and we really just scratched the surface.

we ended the magic house with a huge section outside of 'beach'. there were umbrellas and chairs with sand toys everywhere. as seen in the picture above sophia had a BLAST in the sand.

we had to stop by ted drewes on the way back to the hotel. we had heard that it was the best frozen custard one can get...and we had to agree with the suggestion.

that night we all snuggled in bed, ate dinner and watched the lakers and celtics. it was a divided house, but by half time the celtic fan was asleep, so in the dark, with no sound daddy and i pumped the air in excitement to watch our team get it done.

we made tons of memories in st. louis, we loved being together and seeing a new place.

circle of women

2010-06-15T21:19:00.005-04:00

through out my life i can trace women who have influenced my life. my mom has been the constant and most influential. but with my growth, with each change in my life, in God's rich grace he has given me someone. and now they make a circle of women.

they have given generously, given differently, but they have shaped me. helped me to be a woman. helped navigate me through hard times. gave wisdom in confusion. helped me flourish in times of rejoicing. i have lived a rich life because of these women and their gifts to me.

and today, i saw my daughter's circle begin.

sarah has three kids of her own, near the same age of mine. her husband is in the same program that matt is. her life is full of mothering, ministry and some days, just trying to survive. but a few weeks ago she asked me if she could take alaythia out on her own, be intentional with spending time with just alaythia. i said yes, not really giving it much thought. when she made specific plans last week for a time, i must admit, i was shocked.

she made arrangements for her kids, and during her free time, came to the house and picked alaythia up. just the two of them. alaythia has been talking about her time with 'ms. sarah' ever since she found out about it.

when i pressed sarah as to why in the world she would do this...when life as a mother to young children is draining enough, her answer was that she loved alaythia. she knows alaythia isn't around family right now and simply, she loves all that alaythia is. she went through all the different things that she loves about her.

she didn't say it, but i knew it immediately. she's part of alaythia's circle of women. she knows her, she cares for her and she is being intentional to show it.

as a mother, there are few things that more clearly communicate love to you, than watching others willingly love your children. and as i watched them leave together my heart was full of gratitude and thanks. for sarah. to God. for his grace being poured out on alaythia. to send women to her to help her grow, change and flourish.

alaythia and ms. sarah, before they left today.

laker playoffs

2010-06-06T20:35:00.002-04:00

it's been a part of our life for a long time. back in the early days of our marriage we would spend our laker playoff nights with the martins. alan and i would get in arguments about kobe's maturity. we would eat julie's famous mudd pie and scream at the t.v...and winning. lots of winning. good, good days.

these days, there are no laker fans to be found in kentucky. so we sit and watch the t.v. knowing there are others in the world watching with us. we do our best to re-create the laker playoff early days. we eat fun food and we scream at the t.v...but there is another element that i never could have anticipated.

a die hard celtics fan in the house.

i know, how can that be? the celtic/laker rivalry goes way back, and how can there be fans of both under the same roof? i am just as baffled. and usually, i can swing my weight around to get this little person to come around to my way of thinking. usually, thankfully, his desire to please his parents still resides in him.

but not with this.

kevin garnet took his heart several years ago with the gatorade commercial, you know, the one that was black and white...and green. and now there's rondo. as i type i'm getting a play by play about how well rondo is doing right now. how did we get here? why is my influence not taking?

i guess it does make it a bit more fun. someone to talk smack with during the game. and yes, i am teaching him how to talk smack.

GO LAKERS!

a measurable day

2010-06-01T20:41:00.004-04:00

half way done.

and all the way done.

since moving into this house the yard has been a huge undertaking. it's a typical rental house. the yard has been neglected for years. i'm no gardener, but a good friend is, and i come from a woman with a deep love for gardening and dirt. and i can feel it rising up in me. with sarah helping me along and mom cheering me on, i am slowly starting to enjoy it.

trimming these bushes in the 90 degree heat (plus humidity) was a joy. not because i loved doing it, but because it was measurable. i saw where i started and saw immediately the difference i was making. it felt SO GOOD to do it. measurable, done. it was amazing how fulfilled i felt today. like i had really accomplished something.

and i started to wonder why i don't feel like this most days.

oh how different i feel with mothering. often i can't see see the difference i make on a day to day basis. i wake up to the same whining. i mediate the same bickering. i correct the same disobedience. the laundry is never done, the kitchen never stays clean. i fall into bed at night to wake up and do it all over again the next day. i know deep in me that what i'm doing is making a difference, but i sure wish i could see it like i did in my bushes today.

what i do with my kids is amazingly more significant and important. but i don't feel fulfilled most days. most days i feel defeated. i find myself longing for the bush analogy to burn on my heart. to look at my kids faces and know even if i can't see it, there is measurable progress. i am making a difference, although i can't see it as clearly as i did today in the yard.

oh yeah, and this is the other thing i did today.

9 months

2010-05-25T13:20:00.004-04:00

sweet soph is 9 months old. she has become such a central part of our family, the other day several of us commented on how thankful and glad we were that she is a part of our family. what was life like without her?

she is her own person and is able to communicate more and more about what she likes and what she wants. she waves bye-bye and hello, and will clap in applause for people. she will NEVER turn away a kiss and loves to snuggle. my favorite thing is when she nuzzles her little head right into the crook of my neck and snuggles in.

she's a thumb sucker. on our trip to the west coast she discovered that she can suck her thumb whenever she wants...not just for sleeping. i didn't discourage her that day because we were flying across the country on several different flights. it's the cutest thing when she pops her thumb into her mouth, palm to the sky.

she is a fast crawler and all over the house. she's into everything, exploring all that the house has for her. she loves to wade right into the middle of what isaiah and alaythia are doing...and destroy it. she still does not have any teeth...she's late compared to the other two. she has the cutest fake cough that you'll ever hear.

instead of pictures i thought i'd post a video of sophia at dinner tonight. you will see why, when people come face to face with her, she captures their heart.

baby tour

2010-05-22T16:36:00.006-04:00

last week sophia and i headed to the west coast on a baby tour. ava miller, sister to olivia, was due to be born and we wanted to be there for the birth. also, there was a celebration for my niece, hannah, so we hopped down to join in on the party. daddy stayed home to hold down the fort with the older kids.

it was a great trip for many reasons. i loved getting to be with sophia all by herself. getting to know her, enjoy her stage and study her a little closer. it was also great for the rest of the family to get to know sophia on her own and spend some one on one time with her. she's quite the little lady...

grandpa sharing his pocket watch with sophia. it was actually his grandfather's watch. everyone has memories of walking up to grandy and having him hold the pocket watch over your ear and cup his big hand over your other ear. dad passes that on to his grandkids.

soph, listening to the watch.

we stopped by to see grandma at work. when sophia was born mom was in the middle of a surgery. she put me and sophia on speaker phone and shared her first cry with everyone in the operating room. we got to meet the surgeon and other nurses who shared that moment.

snuggling with auntie hallie.

bouncing in cousin hannah's bouncer.

being a big girl and taking a bath in grandpa and grandma's bath tub.

the birth of ava was one of the most amazing experiences i ever been a part of. it's hard to put it to words. a mix of relief, amazement, joy and celebration. seeing her face, smelling her skin, hearing her cry. all births are joy-filled, but ava's was different. set apart. she entered the world into a community ripe with anticipation and love. and never before have i heard of champagne being popped in the labor and delivery room...until now!

getting to see hannah with my own eyes was such a treat. laura and hannah were not expecting us to be there and that made the meeting all the more fun. i loved seeing laura with two kids. she's an amazing mother, who i look up to. she's doing an amazing job with the hard transition from one child to two. it was a quick trip but we got lots of hugs and kisses in.

at the end of the tour we all were ready to be back together again. we continue the process of trying to move into our house. we're almost done with the school year and are ready for summer to officially begin!

a gift on mother's day

2010-05-09T20:47:00.004-04:00

we discovered that our neighborhood has a park. you can't get to it by driving, you walk down a sidewalk through houses to this oasis. you can't hear cars, you can't see a street, just a park with houses surrounding it. matt stood at the end of our driveway and i stood at the park and we waved to each other. it's that close.

alaythia was swinging, singing about mary poppins. there were two brothers playing and isaiah quickly joined in, competing in the timed obstacle courses they were creating. i was leaning against the jungle gym.

we had big beautiful clouds today. it was cold when the sun was behind them. every once in a while the sun would peak out, but mostly it stayed hidden. as i stood and watched my two oldest play i heard the bell from the presbyterian church ring. church must be over. the bell filled the air.

but then, the sun came out, i felt it warm my skin. i smiled and took a deep breath, watching my children play in their new home. thankful for this new place, overwhelmed with the beauty of it. and then as if the moment could not get any better, the bells turned from one tone, to many tones and i made out the melody of 'joyful joyful'.

it was a gift. after hard days, and fighting for clarity, God opened the skies and sent through the air the reminder of who He is and what really matters.

moved

2010-05-09T09:09:00.003-04:00

so, we're all moved. shortly after i posted the last post on the blog, we decided to try to move the next day... that's how we roll, making big decisions in a split second. we packed until 1 in the morning, and got up on wednesday and moved our life. last night we finally got internet at the new place. i was going through withdrawals.

last night as i was laying in bed, i started to think about what a weird thing moving is. put all that you own into cardboard boxes, and then take it all back out and put it in a new place. everything feels strange, everything feels out of order. even though this house is a huge blessing and i am so glad to be in it, i found myself desiring my apartment... i don't think it was the apartment i was longing for, just familiarity and everything being in it's place.

i've had lots of thoughts i wanted to share, but they had to stay cooped up rolling around in my head. until now.

i told lots of people to pray for the kids and their transition to the house, turns out, i should have been asking them to pray for me. apart from the first night and a little fear, they are fine. mommy on the other hand is taking more time.

moving across town is a weird thing. we moved 7 miles. in my neighborhood, which i absolutely LOVE, everything looks and feels new. i feel relocated. but when i drive out to the main road, everything is familiar. it's a strange sensation.

i have been living in a micro world of contact paper, cleaning supplies, boxes and putting things away. it's nice to pull my head up every once in a while and remember life will go on if i don't get the 9x13's in the right spot.

one of my biggest fears was that we'd move to this large house, and we'd still be living on top of each other. the kids had fears about being in other rooms at the apartment (there were only 3 rooms total). but yesterday at one point matt walked into the kitchen and it was totally quiet. 'where is isaiah' i said, 'he's in his room. where is alaythia?' 'she's in the playroom' and we just stared at each other. we're not used to not being able to see and hear them.

apart from the adjustment and new-ness, we absolutely love this house. we are so thankful to be in it and look forward to making lots of new memories here. we are longing to share it with people. who wants to come for a visit first?

half way

2010-05-04T08:21:00.002-04:00

we are officially half way through (Lord willing) getting a PhD. matt got home about 2pm yesterday, after finishing his comprehensive hebrew final. he does not have any more classes to take...we're off to pass comprehensive tests and write a dissertation.

i asked matt if he felt sad yesterday, that he won't be taking any more classes. i could see in his eyes he was already on to the next step. the next step where he will have to be self motivated and push himself. matt can and does push himself...his expectations of himself are much higher than any someone else could put on him. and i thought meeting professor's demands was rigorous...

he'll take a couple weeks off to help move us. but that's about it. there is a lot to do in the next 5 months.

we should get the keys today to the house. isaiah keeps talking about this house and the one after it. he's got the 2 year timeline in his head. just the other day he was talking with a friend saying that in 2 years we would be moving from kentucky. his sweet friend, who is so sensitive, started to cry and wondered how he and isaiah would be able to play together... little does his friend know that his daddy will finish before isaiah's... but we didn't go there.

it feels fitting...the end of classes, on to a new house. but more on that later.