too funny to hold back anymore

at dinner: 'daddy hurry! i need some milk, my tongue is spicing!'

an excuse why a child can't eat the dinner in front of them: 'i think i'm allergic to crunchy things.'

isaiah warning daddy about mommy as they play a game of memory. 'watch out daddy she's smart, she's got a big brain like a troodon!' (a type of dinosaur)

while playing some baseball isaiah says: 'dad i keep striking your balls out!'

the queen of mixing up her letters....mommy asks, 'alaythia, why are your hands down your pants?' alaythia answers, 'my utt is bitching.'

sophia swings a light saber at mommy and alaythia. alaythia says: 'don't hit us, we're your parents!'

alaythia trying to explain to daddy why she prefers to snuggle with mommy, 'daddy, don't feel bad, she just has claws like a dinosaur.' (she likes my nails tickling her back).

mommy says, 'are you picking your nose and then touching my computer?!' child turns, chomping. 'are you eating it too?! are you picking your nose, then eating it and THEN touching my computer?!' child matter of factly - 'no!...i'm not touching your computer.'

somethin' about you

it didn't matter what you were doing. if you were upstairs in your room or in the kitchen eating. anyone could start it. in the early days of napster when we were in awe of the music that was at our finger tips...

the music was always loud. and whoever started it on the stereo swayed waiting for others to join them. i remember one dance in particular. i was upstairs in the house with plum carpet. i heard the music start...i ran to the landing of the stairs to look who had beckoned us to come and dance. i found my mom in the living room swaying her arm like a guitar waiting for her grown children to come and join her. from my perch i saw jake come around the corner, adam pop up off the couch, the music and mom calling them.

and that made it all the more sweet tonight. when isaiah picked that same song, turned it up and started dancing. his sister finished her dinner faster, the baby toppled off mommy's lap to join in too. and there i was, watching the next generation. a different family - but the same blood running through their veins. a family who can't help but move together and dance.

home

where to begin. it's been a hard couple months. still is in a lot of ways. i have been struggling with seeing the good in life. fighting my own demons, fighting to see the truth. i have not totally overcome these things (can we ever?) but as was said to me yesterday...life isn't always rosey. and it's more real to share that, then to pretend all is well. i think my silence here is proof enough sometimes.

the sun is out and i can feel myself waking up. waking up to the realities of my life, the sun (and Son) shining new light on the life that i lead. i desire to build a home. desire to create a life for my family full of memories. smells, tastes, celebration and joy. i know most of it starts with me, as my job is to make this house a home. a place of freedom. a place of welcome.

something that is not valued much anymore. and we as homemakers are just as much to blame. not valuing it ourselves, saying to others we're 'just' homemakers. filling our lives with everything but hospitality. being efficient instead of being detailed. detailed in paying attention to the people around us that we have been given charge to care for.

i see their little faces, i hear their thoughts spoken. i get one chance. to take it in. to weave them a tapestry that will forever be their backdrop.

i don't want guilt. i don't want pressure. but i do want to do it well.

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most thoughts regarding this are being pulled from: real love for real life: the art and work of caring by andi ashworth.