Say What?! Wednesday

we had just finished running some errands and as we were pulling out of the parking lot of the bank alaythia said, 'dad! i am going to hold my breath.' matt asked her why and she replied, 'because i don't want to lose it.'

being schooled

i have been pretty overwhelmed since finding out that we're going to get the house. for several reasons. i'm overwhelmed in all i have to do in 17 days... but also all that we have been given by the LORD.

i would say that my over-arching struggle with being a follower of Christ, is believing that relationship with him is a gift. my actions, or my works do not change or alter my favor with Him at all. but, despite knowing that, i find that i want to be all put together before i approach Him. i want to feel like i've earned the grace and favor that is offered. that's why this house is schooling me.

through the process of looking and finding the house, i know that i didn't trust God like I should have. i struggled with anxiety instead of trust. i felt like i had to make it happen and stressed out about that. several times i was told that 'God is in the business of houses', i had friends speak truth saying that i needed to calm down and trust. but i didn't listen. and i knew i wasn't.

but God was faithful anyway. he chose to bless, and bless abundantly. taking care of us down to the smallest detail, blessing us more than we could have expected. and all of this despite my unfaithfulness and lack of trust. it fits who God is...and who i say i believe He is. but (as was shown through the process of the house) when the rubber meets the road, i have a hard time living it. when it comes time to trust, to really put into practice what i say i believe, i falter.

i've been praying it will sink in. i want to take the blessing and abundance shown by the LORD and remember that it had nothing to do with anything i did or didn't do. i want it to burn on my heart...i want to learn this lesson and be changed by it. to turn back in gratefulness and praise at who God is. always faithful, unchanging and true.

Say What?! Wednesday...on Thursday

it was the week before easter and matt was reading to us and talking through the events that led up to Jesus' death and resurrection. sweet alaythia is working hard to understand Jesus and his death. as stated in an earlier post, she really is convinced that we can save Jesus from dying. so inevitably, whenever the subject comes up she will talk about saving him.

on this particular night she interrupted matt mid sentence and said, 'guys! i have a big idea! we'll get in the car, save Jesus...and then go to chick-fil-a for dessert!'

a new beginning

i've been on the hunt for houses for the past several weeks. it's been all consuming. and i do mean all-consuming.

craigslist has been up on my computer non-stop and the page refreshed every 15 minutes at least. my kids have spent countless hours in the car, driving, looking, eating fast food.

i wake up in the morning hopeful. it's a new day, new possibilities. and at the end of the day, after seeing house after house that just doesn't work - i am despairing.

it's a roller coaster. with each new listing there is hope. it could be the one. and as the time approaches my hopes only rise more. and then i come crashing down when it won't work.

i'm shocked i must say. at the filth. at what people are willing to live in. and i started to wonder if living in a house meant i was going to have to lower my standards significantly. desperation was beginning to push me to consider things...crazy things.

the burden, the time crunch..i wish i could say that i trusted God through it. i knew i wasn't trusting. fear, anxiety and the burden to 'get it done myself' consistently overtook me.

when a house popped up today i called immediately and made an appointment to come see it. as i considered putting the kids in the car yet again and driving all the way there...i thought how tired i was of seeing crap. of walking into houses and walking right back out. so i decided to call the landlord back and just ask him about it. 'is the house clean? is it updated? i have three small kids and if it's not clean, i really don't want to see it.' he sounded a bit irritated with me...but what did i have to lose?

but i knew. i knew the moment i walked in the door that i wanted the house....and so did 8 other families that saw the house today. but in the end - at the end of this day - the house was offered to us.

and i sit her tonight, unable to sleep. thankful for so much. for family and their support, for God who knows our every desire, for the community that we have where we live now... and for a new beginning.

our niece

she arrived 14 days after her scheduled due date. her mom was in labor for 45 hours. but with much perseverance and determination by her mom and dad - little hannah came into the world just minutes into today.

i'm a proud sister and auntie! it's absolutely killing me to not be near to kiss her sweet cheeks and hold her little 7 pound 5 ounce body. to look into her mom's eyes and tell her what an amazing woman she is and how proud i am of her.

you are so loved hannah! and can't wait for the day when we can see you face to face!



proud mama and daddy - laura and matt. with proud brother caleb!

Say What?! Wednesday

sometimes alaythia will take a nap. but not everyday. on the days when she doesn't nap the older kids will have quiet time together in their room. it's a bit ridiculous actually, because sometimes i feel like they call me more when they are in 'quiet time' then they would if they were just playing quietly in the living room. anyway.

daddy was home one day for quiet time and alaythia had called so many times we were beginning to lose our cool - and they knew it. alaythia decided to turn on the charm. the next time we heard her call she said: 'daddy i need you! oh how i need you!'

and her daddy went running.

life

a lot of life has been lived since my last post. we got on the mend, passed our sickness on to grandpa. i had a birthday and we celebrated easter. a lot of life. but i'm super tired and don't have words, so pictures from life will have to do. (and as i've been saying to those that have checked in, we can take the strongest of people down. saying goodbye to grandpa today i couldn't help but apologize over and over.)