onward and upward

i am coming to terms with the fact that my life is an ever moving journey. one where as soon as i get comfortable and familiar with it, it moves and changes. even ever so slightly. most of the time i think i'm standing still, i can't see the progress or change, but it's happening. i am making progress. and can see the ever so slight changes taking place right now, which really are huge markers.

onward. tomorrow matt will present his prospectus (proposal for his dissertation) to his peers and all the NT faculty. yes, a big day. they will grill him for just over an hour and hopefully he'll come out with their blessing to keep going.

i remember hearing about friends and acquaintances presenting their prospectus. and i can vividly recall the longing that filled me. the longing to be at that stage, to have that marker come...and go. and it felt so distant.

and yet here we are. it's matt's turn. it reminds me that we are continuing to make progress, continuing to move forward in this long journey of a PhD. and once it's passed, we won't have to do it again. i am grateful.

upward. sophia has decided that she can kind of walk... really she can walk, but she has to build her confidence. at this point she loves to push her new baby doll around in a stroller.

at the pumpkin patch she even walked around pushing her own stroller.

and with that my life changes. no crawlers. bigger kids. growing up. deadlines passing. not a completely new stage, but a slight shift that makes a huge difference.

my nemesis has been defeated

you know how my first trip to the pumpkin patch went. we planned our next visit for this last saturday. i never would have blogged about the flu bug and how 'funny' it was if i would have thought it was still lingering in our house. but sure enough on friday i came down with the sickness.

can't remember the last time those things happened to me.

we had to postpone our apple/pumpkin picking again. it started to grate on me. all my attempts to go and not being able to. it became something that i felt i had to conquer. i couldn't let it get the best of me. so we switched some school days around (the beauty of home schooling) and decided to go yesterday.

didn't matter that it was slated to be 92 degrees.

it was a good time. picking apples, and pumpkins. watching the kids run and play and plan. but let's be honest, the main reason for going is to get the great pictures next to the pumpkins...which of course i didn't get of the three of them together. but still some keepers.

isaiah was oh-so-willing to climb trees for us to get the 'perfect' apple.

alaythia loved to climb under the trees.

on the hunt.

going on a monday was great because we had the pumpkin patch to ourselves.
i let them roam and didn't call them back.

they both were proud of 'their' pumpkin.

and yes, sophia was on this trip with us...but between the 8 pounds of apples, cameras, diaper bags and stroller...mommy had a hard time getting a picture of the one that was at my side!

life in pictures

working hard

now look at mommy!

self portrait

now make a funny face

poor baby

let's try again

frog princesses

and a star wars brother

highlight

we've been holed up of recent, with a flu bug. my favorite you know. although i think i'm handing it better this year than i did last year. maybe cause we're all a year older, maybe being in a bigger space so we're not on top of each other while we're sick...

regardless the highlight was driving 50 minutes to the pumpkin patch on saturday, by myself with all the kids because matt was laid out. we were going to go apple picking and then get pumpkins, we had been talking about it for a week. a major undertaking to say the least, but the idea of not going sent the kids into hysteria. we hustled out of the house early and stopped at starbucks on the way out. AS SOON as we got out of the car isaiah says, 'mom, i don't feel good. i haven't been feeling good all morning, but didn't want to tell you because then i thought we wouldn't be able to come.'

i stare in unbelief for a brief second and a cold sweat breaks out at the idea of what might be coming. i know i have to act fast.

i must get sophia in a stroller so that i can put all my attention on isaiah. i strap her in and run to the other side of the field to find a trailer we can hide behind. and...well, you can guess the rest of the story.

it's my nightmare come true. all i remember thinking is that someone else must be the mother, because surely this can't be happening to me.

if he follows in alaythia's footsteps, he'll give more every 45 minutes. we're 50 minutes from home remember. i know the clock is working against me. we get back in the car and start for it. the freeways seem like death traps as i try to get home before he pukes again.

we did make it home, God is so gracious, and it seems we're on the mend. mommy is tired, but at least no one is puking.

now if i can just get the courage to try to go to that pumpkin patch again this weekend...

i love...

...how my garden fresh cucumbers ooze juicy freshness right after i cut them.
...how alaythia calls her sneezes 'bless yous'.
...how sophia snuggles in at bed time, sucking her thumb and gently rubbing my arm as we sway and sing.
...that even at 5 isaiah will still climb up on my lap for a snuggle.
...how hard my husband works at what he's doing.
...the crisp morning air that has come to louisville.

surprise visit

she called on wednesday night at 8:30. we talked about the plans of the next day. what i had to do, that she had the day off work. she casually asked, if i thought i could get to the airport at 2:45.

my body was numb. i was reeling and trying to figure it out. and just like that we found out grandma was coming for the weekend. a desire and treat we dared not even ever dream about. not when you live this far away.

so on the way to school i explained to the kids that grandma was coming later that day. they too were shocked. usually it's a major count down when someone is coming to see us. isaiah kept saying, 'today?! today?!'

it was a great trip. the zoo, a neighborhood garage sale, dates and good food. (i think we said it was the most successful garage sales ever, and that's saying a lot since my mom has decades under her belt).


she cleaned my house, did my laundry, gave my husband and i time for a date. it was like she lived here. it was that normal.

thanks grandma for coming to be with us. you know we all love when you are with us.

this picture was taken by someone else at the zoo,
because i chickened out at the last minute and wouldn't go
into the laurakeet landing area.
we took a picture of their screen.
grandma kept her cool and didn't scream, which would have scared the kids...
but she wanted to!

the first 40 years...

we're settling into our new routine and new life. home schooling is going well, we're still tweaking to fit our life and i feel like everyday it gets better. isaiah is loving his kindergarten class and is making new friends. the girls and i are enjoying our 'girl time' and the little break it brings to have the boys at school a couple days a week.

i think part of my anxiety and emotion regarding all that has been going on, was the anticipation of the change in life. and it was true that we were catapulted into a new phase. just like that we are dealing with 'school age' things.

friends who lie, girls who are mean, new vocabulary and a new level of attitude. in general it is safe to say all three of them have matured leaps and bounds in the past few weeks.

i find myself praying fervently for isaiah as he's at school. that he will be a leader, not a follower. that he will have fun, but will also work hard. that he would be the one who is not mean, and doesn't get pushed around, but protects those who are weak and is not afraid to stand up for what he knows is right. it's a whole new world for him...and me! i find myself remembering conversations my parents had with me, things they said, i hear myself repeating them verbatim to him.

alaythia has a bully in her life. the last few times she's come home from church related activities she tells us about what went on. i know how mean girls can be. it was not easy to watch and listen to my daughter repeat these things to me. i fought every mother-bear urge coursing through my veins, took a deep breath and told her the truth of who she is. and reminded her who she will be.

sophia...well i've affectionately started calling her my tasmanian devil. just yesterday during school, i turned to find her gnawing on a piece of chalk she had pulled from the chalkboard. she's into everything and really fast. all of my whispering in her ear about not becoming a 'crazy' has not worked!

and just like that things have changed. that is the thing about parenting, its never constant, just when you get comfortable, you move to the next phase. a friend gave me a magnet for my birthday a few years ago it said, 'don't worry, the first 40 years of parenting are the hardest.' i laughed when i read it, but i'm starting to think it's the truth!