i know where you are. happily snuggled in - in portland, oregon, 2500 miles away. revving up for advent conspiracy, for celebrating Jesus, worshiping different and loving the city. within the walls that you meet in, a home that is not your own, sit so many of the people i love. oh, i miss you.
i loved being a part. i loved living life. i was thankful. it came so easy...
i'm trying to find a church to replace you...as much as i want to believe that if listen to podcasts every week i still can be a part of you...
but it's so hard. i knew it would be.
i KNEW it would be...
and yet, it came so easy. maybe deep down i hoped it would come easy again, but it hasn't. i'm unsettle, frustrated, lonely, irritated. i want peace, instead of a constant pushing to 'make it okay'.
i've tasted real community. i can't go back. as much as i try to convince myself i'm okay and i don't really need it.
i didn't take you for granted. i knew what i had was unique, i knew the sweetness. i just miss it, and i'm beginning to think that replicating it is going to be impossible.
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6 comments:
though I didn't go there...cool that you had a community that you loved and loved you....it's rare and SO valuable!.
Just as God provided it to you then, He can/will provide exactly what He knows you need now...who knows...it could be very surprising! :)
much grace & MUCH peace in your soul, s you wait on HIm!
Wow Nat, you and I are one in the same. Evan and I left the most amazing community at UCD that I could ever imagine and we didn't take it for granted, we knew what we had is good. We've been away for over a year now and it's still so hard! We just went and visited all our friends this last weekend while Luke, Gabe and Dianne rode in the bike race. It still makes me sad to leave Davis and my friends, it's still so hard. But, on the positive side, I know Bend is our home now, and it's starting to feel more like home. I miss our house when we're gone and I miss the friends that we've made. I so commiserate with you though, know that I was/am in the same position and if you ever need to call and just vent, I would love to be a listening ear!!!! So excited to see you guys for Thanksgiving, it will be amazing! Hang in there!
Finding a new church is an arduous task.
It'll come.
We miss you too. Joy and I were just saying how we miss the Godshalls last night. Even though you are 2500 miles away you are still part of this community. Miles don't take you away from our hearts. Lets hope and pray that when Matt finishes you all will return here. I know I am.
Tara and Ella (She will too when she is old enough to know better!)
Hey Nat,
So sorry that it has been tough for you. I know that my family can relate as they had a hard time finding a church family and after 4 long years, finally have. GOd taught them amazing things and have grown them so much more into HIs image, it has been so neat to watch from afar. It is SO different back there (as I have witnessed) and it will be a lot harder, but GOd will give you more peace when you need it, more love when you don't want to give it, more patience when you think you have run out, and the list goes on. Just ask Him...He'll help you. Hang in there friend.
it's true. there's nowhere like imago...
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