2 months

you have changed our world sophia hope. we love you!

hello world

hoedown filled up

we went to our first hoedown last night here in kentucky. complete with cowboy hats and a blue grass band all taking place in a barn. and yes, i forgot every camera i own.

it was an event for the school matt teaches at. the families and teachers of the school were all invited. we drove outside of the city for quite sometime to a large family farm with a huge barn. i'm always shocked at how rural kentucky is, as i don't get out of the city much. in the city i feel at home, but i'm shocked the minute i leave it.

it was a good night, some of the highlights:

-isaiah and alaythia were the first to start the dancing with the blue grass band. as soon as the music started they both stood up and started dancing. i don't know if i've been more proud of them. different reasons.
1-the love for dance is in them, that is something i wanted to pass down, and it looks like it has.
2-they are uninhibited. they don't know to care what other people might think, it's what we do in our family culture and so that's what they do when they are in public. i hope there are MANY things that transfer that way.
3-they were together. they danced together ALL NIGHT. they love each other. as the crowd swelled and they joined hands with other kids to circle and spin, at times alaythia got overwhelmed. but with the big brother she has, who can coach her along and watch out for her, she did just fine.
4-they felt so big getting to make decisions for themselves all night. we basically let them do whatever they wanted. we would watch from a distance and every so often they would run back and make up some important fact to tell us. or ask permission for something they were already doing, just to draw attention to what big kids they were.

-sophia slept the whole time in the baby bjorn.

-isaiah has a confidence that i hope never leaves him. toward the end of the night, we were getting ready to head home and isaiah begged to go outside. there was a group of 5th and 6th graders playing....well, it was that girl and guy flirting thing. a lot of running and screaming. isaiah jumped right in. he didn't know what they were playing, and even though they all were older than him, he joined. there are kids playing, he wanted to play, so he did. he ran and laughed as they changed directions, even though he didn't know what was going on. when they were done and the groups started to walk away he threw his hands up and said, 'hey guys, what's up?' yeah, he's 4. they were gracious, but didn't invite him to go with them. he seemed unfazed. i hope he retains that confidence.

-i love being the teacher's wife. after years of always being the student, last night, for the first time the tables were turned. and i'll admit, i was proud of my husband. he was gracious to the parents that came up and made comments about his work load. he complimented children to their parents and i saw the difference in made in their eyes. i heard him articulate the vision he has for the students learning latin, and his hope for them. and i was thankful for the encouragement he got from others about the discussions he's prompted in homes with the homework he's assigned for his logic classes.

yes, it was a good night. i was filled up.

p.s. on the sophia note: i have changed my diet, taking out fat and diary. the reflux seems to be less intense, not gone, but seems to bother her less. and per sophia's great grandmother we are trying chamomile tea. i drink it and so does she. the crying is less, not gone, but less. she's decided she wants her bed time to be 3am. yeah, that's not going to work much longer.

down to the bounce

after days and days of crying without being comforted, i believe we are stretched thinner than we ever have been before. i said last week we were hanging on by a thread. that thread feels like it's about to snap.

but today...today she smiled. not in her sleep, not because of gas, but a real look-you-in-the-eye smile. alaythia was holding her, she was locked on with daddy. and in typical fashion, mommy missed it. but she smiled. a bit of sophia came through today and i felt like maybe i might get to know this little girl someday.

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i bounce and sway, shush and hum. i stand in my bathroom with the fan going, sophia seems to like that better. alaythia pops her curly-haired head in the door, 'mommy? what you doing?' 'trying to put sophia to sleep. what are you doing?' she convinces me to come out to the living room where the boys are reading books, she take a detour into her bedroom and picks up her baby doll on the way. all of the sudden she's at my side. bouncing, swaying. our hips bump as we sway. (actually it's more like my hips hitting her head!)

my baby starts to fuss. i invite her to bring her baby into the bathroom with me. so the four of us head back in. i can barely see her face in the bottom of the mirror. i bounce, she bounces. i hum, she hums. i start to shush, she shushes. i can't help but look at my daughter. my daughter.

we're both standing in front of the mirror, she copies my every move. how many times have i been in this situation? but never as the mother. she catches my eye and we both smile. our noses scrunch up the same and our shushing sound changes. we laugh through our bouncing and breath at the same moment.

i'm struck with her beauty. with the fact that she's mine. i'm overwhelmed that she's taking all her cues from me. down to the bounce. my heart is full as i bounce one and watch one bounce her own baby doll.

then daddy comes in with her toothbrush, yes, even mommy's have to brush their teeth.

quote of the day

there isn't much time for anything right now. we're in the thick of things. and this quote sums it all up. it's 4:30pm as matt is pouring himself some freshly brewed coffee. i hear him mumble to himself in the kitchen:

'man does not live on coffee alone....that's why i have my lucky charms.'