my daughter?

we're doing fine after our adventurous day a couple days ago. when we got home from the ER alaythia was trying to jump of the couch... apparently children really are resilient.

the next morning she proceeded to pull a stitch out. the doctor had told me she couldn't do that, it was a fine motor skills she just doesn't have yet. sure... so we only have 3 stitches now and we keep a bandaid on her forehead at all times. although it means changing it 4 or 5 times a day because she rips the bandaid off. who knew half an inch could cause so much.

she's a fiesty one that girl. she's loud and knows what she wants.

i have NO IDEA where she gets that....

there is no such thing as normalcy

so it seems fitting that this post would be following up the other. life is good, look at me. i couldn't be happier.

yeah, today sucked.

and the reality is, i knew it was going to suck. cause the morning started off so great. and when it does that, the afternoon usually is the opposite. isaiah and alaythia snuggled in bed this morning, isaiah was sweet and kind to his little sister. at one point they were playing happily in their room together while i had breakfast at the table AND READ MY BIBLE. it was at that moment that i thought, 'brace yourself natalie, this day is not going to get better.'

we went to mom's play group. the kids cried the entire time. why? don't know. they just did. it's what they seem to do now. i left early after trying in vain to keep my spirits up. i hoped that nap time would be a 'reset' for us all....but alaythia woke up an hour into her nap and woke isaiah up. no rest for the weary. isaiah started a new class today so we had a snack and started to get ready for that. we're about to walk out the door, i'm putting the diapers into my purse when...bam. i hear alaythia fall. she's right behind me mind you. she wasn't walking, running or jumping. she was standing.

i no sooner turn but figure out that her forhead hit the corner of the wall perfectly. and you can guess the rest. blood everywhere, gushing. me trying to keep my cool. matt's in class, i yell at isaiah to go get the neighbor and run to the kitchen with alaythia. my very mature 3 year old does what i say and brings the neighbors over with him a few minutes later.

i can't stop the bleeding and she and i are covered. i start sobbing that i don't know what to do. i can see the shock and fear in their eyes as they walk upon the scene. but they kick in to high gear, get me, my purse and baby into their car. one stays with isaiah and one drives us. a blessing, since i don't even know where the hospital is. as she's driving she calls matt on my cell phone. gets him out of class.

the story is more detailed, but i'll spare you. the neighbors keep isaiah and matt, alaythia and i head to the ER. it's her 18 month birthday today...she had to be a big girl. they papoose her...she's hysterical. i loose it and then gain composure to try to calm her. daddy and i sing through the stitches. the nurse joins in. the doxology, jesus loves me...even the wheels on the bus. and at the end she comes away with 4 stiches, vertical, right smack dab in the middle of her forehead...

i really want to put the day to rest...but i felt like i should post pictures before i did. the grandparents were a little up in arms that they weren't here....

here's our brave girl.

random pictures

wrestle mania with dad. alaythia loves to get in on the action now. daddy has his work cut out for him.

while mommy gets ready in the morning the kids get to watch a movie while snuggling on mommy and daddy's bed...the good life!

my milk mustache boy...i have to remember he's only 3 and half. he's reading 3 letter words now. we've also started reading 'little pilgrim's progress' (a chapter book) and he sits and listens. he brings us back to reality though...there's still TONS of 3 year old things that he does that test our patience!

normalcy almost upon us

the windows are open for the first time in days. every once in a while i can feel a light breeze. the familiar buzz is comforting, i've missed it with my windows closed up.

us north westerners are not used to the hot humidity. poor little alaythia's head was drenched one day after playing outside. it looked like she had just gotten out of the bath. but i kinda liked it. i would walk outside and it would warm me to the bone. hot air on every part of you, even in the breath you take. i would sit and watch the kids play. if you don't move, you don't sweat....as quickly. i was thankful for the warmth, the hot. something about the heat sinking deep into you. even when i went to take the trash out at 10pm...92 degrees. still hot and again, breathing in that air. it was somehow comforting.

life seems to be settling in. i can almost feel normalcy upon us. not so much new-ness. the over stimulation of being in a new place. we've been to the same church for 3 sundays, and even started their 6 weeks members class. i'm headed to a mom's group there tomorrow.

we went for a walk this morning with a neighbor. isaiah and his friend rode their bikes with training wheels and the friend and i took turns pushing the one and half year olds in the double stroller. yeah, seems that normal.

we may be hitting a groove although there are still waves. waves of loneliness, long days of nothing to do. i should be thankful. and i'm trying to be. i know when life becomes more familiar here it will speed up and i will long for the simple days of our first weeks. when my house was clean, my laundry was caught up and dinner was done by 3 every day.

i'm happy here.

thoughts so far about our life in loo-vul

it's hot and humid (the first real day it's been that way since we got here) but we have a/c. so anything is doable.

i'm not sure if they're grasshoppers or crazy locust things (maybe those are the same) but they provide a constant buzz. the buzz of the south. i remember coming out of the airport the first night and thinking 'what the heck is that noise?!' but i've come to like it...providing the soundtrack for our life.

the opposite of efficient is a mother of 2 young children in a brand new city! arg!

i'm being made fun of for saying 'you guys' instead of ya'll. who would have thought!

matt's two days in, three out of four classes down (the big romans test is tomorrow). his mind is already being pushed. he's runnin' with the big dogs now...and i couldn't be happier. i love that he's chewin' the fat with guys who make up the scholarly world, the guys he has read for so long...he's having coffee and debating with them. matt knew what he wanted, he dreamed big, and he's getting it. it's a pretty dang cool thing! (as i type i hear him speaking german...)

iChat is my new favorite thing.... i can see and talk to people 2500 miles away, like we were in the same room. i've given tours of my house, the kids have shown their aunts and uncles how they ride their bikes... i don't feel so alone.

i like having a small house...seems manageable. i'm actually enjoying keeping it. who'd a thought!

i love that isaiah and alaythia are the neighborhood greeters. everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, that walks by gets a hello. if you're recognized as someone we know, you'll get a 'hey'. today as we were walking to the post office, an undergrad guy walked by and isaiah and alaythia said, 'hey.' the guy returned it. then not missing a beat isaiah said, 'how are ya?' the guy couldn't hold the chuckle in and said, 'good...how are you?' in a tone of disbelief that really didn't think it would get the 'right' answer back. and like all of us in this american culture isaiah said, 'good'. and kept right on walking.

that, i know and love

we said goodbye to papa and gg this morning. lots of tears and hugs. the time has come, we're really on our own. something we haven't been for several years.

yesterday matt had oreintation and as a spouse i got to join him for the opening session. i was thankful that i got to be there and experience a little of life at southern. aesthetically you just can't beat it. brick and white columns, the inside does not disappoint. no multi-purpose rooms here. high ceilings, chandeliers, everything in place and beautiful. the music was different than i've been used to for the past years, the suits and ties caught me really off guard. but somehow it felt comfortable...safe. it's so much of my past, that even though it felt different it felt like coming home a bit.

our speaker chose to speak from ephesians.....5.....15-33. yeah, i'm sure my mouth dropped open. seemed a strange passage to be preaching out of for a seminary orientation. was he going to stand there and tell me for the next 45 minutes to submit? work my butt off to support the family while my husband goes to school because what he's doing really is more important? actually, no. it was quite the opposite.

you know i'm all for matt going to school. and as those close to me know, i'm a big supporter of submission. but i'll be honest, i've been hesitant about southern. it's a different culture than i've chosen to be a part of for the past few years. and i have judged what i thought they were and what they were about. i was pleasantly surprised yesterday.

without going into great detail on his sermon, i'll just say that i heard him warn us to not think better of ourselves for higher education, we are broken just as we all are. i did hear him say that we will have a tendency to become higher critics of church, looking for this ideal. and to not be disillusioned into loving the ideal and not the actual broken, hurting people that make it up. i did not hear him elevate the institution, instead i heard him elevate Christ.

so yes, it looked different, it sounded different...but he preached Christ and his gospel. and that i know and love.

one week

we've been in louisville for a week. it feels like 2 months. i think the reality is setting in for all of us. isaiah has started to comment about it. with papa and gg here he was distracted. he didn't think anything of us being here. but they've been gone for a few days and reality is here. alaythia is oblivious and there have been many times in the past few weeks i have seen the sweetness of her age and the oblivion that surrounds her. time change has been the hardest thing for her...showing itself in crankiness.

yesterday when we came inside from playing with neighbor kids isaiah was taking off his shoes and said, 'i miss living with grandpa and grandma. i wish we could still live with them.' he asks me lots of questions about why we don't and if we ever will again. i can imagine it must feel a little like loosing a parent, because he can't remember life without living with them. later in the bath he said, 'i think growing up in kentucky will be great!' balance. nice.

really i couldn't have asked for a better week. great neighbors, moderate weather, unpacked house... but next week begins why we are here. matt starts school on tuesday, and he starts with a bang. his first day in one of his classes starts with a test of romans...translate and know grammar for the entire book. yeah, and it's 40% of his grade.

i'll admit that i'm nervous. when your husband is going to school, it's hard. and i can't imagine the multiplication when it's for the highest degree you can get. papa and gg will be back in california, matt will be in school and life as we'll know it will begin.

if you feel so inclined to pray for us i'd appreciate it.

and while you're there, (and forgive the vagueness, that's how it has to be) would you mind lifting up a little friend of ours this weekend. he's got a big task in front of him, far beyond his years. he'll have to be brave, and he'll need you to pray for his protection. it's kind of a weird request, but it's heavy on my heart and i felt led to ask for prayer for him through the blog.

the run down

mark and linda left today to do a little sight seeing of their own. they'll be back in a few days. i told isaiah that he should 'run down' when they left. the tradition is not ours, it's really the martin's. when we would say goodbye all 4 of the girls would 'run down' to the end of their driveway and wave goodbye. it never failed, they did it each time. so today i thought we would start the tradition ourselves. i told isaiah to run down the end of the sidewalk - and complex to wave goodbye. he wasn't sure of his boundary so i told him i'd go down there for this first time so he'd know.

he raced papa and gg the entire way, but as i got down there i met up with some neighbors who had just gotten back from a walk. it was a convergence of all of us at the same time, unplanned. God is good. one family moved in 2 days ago and they have a 2 year old boy. one got here in june they have two girls, our kid's ages exactly. one family has been here a year and has a 6 month old. one with a 6 and 4 year old (4 year old boy) and another who has a little boy who is alaythia's age. the kids immediately started playing...riding bikes, playing ball, trading tricycles. and what was left for us mom's to do? sit and talk.

we stayed down there until lunch time. my heart was full as it was just what we had hoped for. i know that i'm no where near the end or even beginning of my transition journey, but i can't help but be overwhelmed with how gracious and kind God has been to us. in little details, not just the big things. i feel like He's got me so tenderly in his palm, protecting gently, guiding slowly and showing love.

there are still a lot of tears at the loss. such a huge loss. but there are also moments of hope and grace. i can say honestly that i'm thankful for it all.

first days in kentucky

i feel like i've been gone from washington for a long time. it has only been 4 days...crazy thought. we have loved having papa and gg here. they have been such a tremendous help and support to us. many times i have burst in to tears (i'm emotional okay!) because i've been so overwhelmed with all they are doing for us. without both our parents generosity in our lives matt and i would not be where we are today. we are blessed.

so i'm going to be cheesy and put pictures of the house. but it's safe to say now everyone who reads this is no where near me...so i feel a little justified. so best to let the pictures do the talking right? a little taste of our new life here.

welcome to our house. with some potted plants it will look a bit more inviting...but we love the brick of our building.
this is looking out our front door. isaiah and alaythia spend most their day here playing in the dirt. the neighbors have started coming over since we have a plethora of toys.
the only casualty in the move was the table. each leg split 3 times. the only person in the world that could have fixed it was mark...and he did. the black tape came off and it's good as new. thanks dad for all your detailed hard work!isaiah was so eager to help, even offering to pour our cereal for us the first morning. here he's helping matt put together a cabinet.
so as you walk in our front door, this is what you see to on the left. the painting was matt's grandfather's and hung in his home for years. matt picked it out years ago and we just this summer finally got to take it home with us. we love it!
here's our living room...we just got the rug today that has the brown, green and blue in it that we were going for. we're so excited about this new addition! the dining room table is just to the right of this.here is the kids room as you walk in the door. we love that the drums are in the walk in closet...(isaiah's studio we're calling it) so that we have lots of room to play.

this is the view of their room from the other side.

believe it or not...this is our backyard. i couldn't even get the top of the rock wall, but it's lined with trees and gets greener the higher you get. can you believe it??!! it's so beautiful! this is mark, matt and isaiah playing soccer.and one day we went driving around the campus of southern...this is just one of the buildings on this huge campus. but they all look like this.

a slice of our life here in kentucky.....

we're here

and we just got internet today. so here i am. we've been frantically unpacking and trying to get as much done as we can before papa and gg leave...our help!

it was a beautiful day today. not humid, not super hot, perfect. although i'm not spending to much time outside, the kids practically live outside.

the apartment is fantastic...we have seen how the Lord has blessed us in numerous ways already. there is so many thoughts to type out, and i will do it. but not tonight. too tired.

for now, know we are good and that God did come before us...and keep checking back for updates!

new layout

yes, the new layout is for a new start. and yes, that's our city. the one we will soon call home.

moving musings

matt and mark made it to utah last night. they will be in wyoming within the hour and will end the day in nebraska.

while i don't envy the fact that they have to drive for 4 days, i do wish i could see the country. getting my mind around just how far we are going.

i find myself looking at my kids faces more. kissing them and holding them tight. everywhere i look it's people i have to say goodbye to. but not them. i can look at their faces and know that those 2 faces will stay with me.

as hard as it is to say good bye i can feel myself getting excited about living in kentucky, which is a good thing. i've been so paralyzed by the dread that lays in front of me with having to say good bye, i haven't been able to see past that. but slowly, and as the day nears, the excitement grows.

someone said to me a couple days go how amazing it was that i was giving up everything to go and pursue matt's dream. it took me by surprise. because honestly, i don't see it as matt's dream, i see it as our dream. i thank the Lord for his faithfulness to us in making our dreams the same. if matt wasn't going to get his PhD, i would be devastated. and as i said to my family the other night, though it is one of the hardest things i'll ever have to do to say good bye to them, i don't go kicking and screaming. i go happily. and though i realize we're taking the kids far away from all of their family, i believe that it's worth it for them to know that daddy is our leader, our head and where he goes, we go to.

the move is on

so matt and his dad drove away this morning with a 24 foot budget truck, pulling the car on a trailor.

the kids and i are left in 'our home' sleeping in borrowed pak n plays and aero beds until wednesday. with enough clothes to put in our suitcases to take on the plane. somehow i suddenly feel like in a guest in my parents home...

we started the good byes and i'm already cried out. i know it can never happen, but i wonder if i would ever run out of tears. it's been a long couple months of crying....

cool moments though in the midst of it. i'm thankful for the moments.