snow white
ariel the mermaid
black ninja
i think that night we gained 5lbs of candy. isaiah and alaythia ran as fast as they could for 2 hours. soph tuckered out and got pulled in a wagon and enjoyed her candy as we went.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
halloween 2012
i think that night we gained 5lbs of candy. isaiah and alaythia ran as fast as they could for 2 hours. soph tuckered out and got pulled in a wagon and enjoyed her candy as we went.
Kendall & Andrew's Wedding
sophia and hannah are the best of friends, and although they didn't have any official role in the wedding, we got them matching dresses and called them the 'baby girls', in comparison to the 'flower girls.'
it was so fun for me to watch isaiah be the 'big boy cousin'.
he loved hanging out with michael leo...and helping michael explore the house!
actually, we all couldn't get enough of michael leo!
alaythia and the bride-to-be at the rehearsal dinner. alaythia was so excited to be a flower girl!
my handsome man! his third wedding to officially be a part of.
he was an old pro! one benefit of being the first born grandchild.
matt shared the 'best man' role with his brother michael.
he and zay were a too much for me to take!
here she is...in the dress. which in and of itself, deserves a whole post.
the day had come, and after much stress from mommy, she not only stepped up, but took our hearts.
michael leo was so dapper, in what we've not named, 'the family tux'.
isaiah, wore this same tux at both adam and jake's weddings.
caleb, wore this tux at michael & hallie's wedding.
and now michael carries the tradition on!
my three loves.
kendall, with some of her nieces, after the wedding.
these two cousins were hard to keep still. so much room to run...
the dudes.
all the godshall cousins.
my sweet girl stole all the hearts that day.
i caught her daddy staring at her through out the night. he was completely taken with her.
not just because of her beauty, but because of who she is. i would say that this day was
a turning point in alaythia's life. something changed in her...for the good.
four generations of godshall men.
isaiah and the groom, his uncle andrew.
it was a sweet day, filled with many good memories. i loved being a bystander. although i didn't have a official role, i had many to get ready to be a part of the day. and i loved sitting back and watching them do their part.
matthew...serving his brother. sacrificing and giving to him. loving him well. toasting him in strength and truth. watching matthew get out on the dance floor...his worst nightmare. but doing it to join his kids, to enter in. no one around us knew, but it was a HUGE moment of putting away his own uncomfortability for his kids sake. i love how matthew loves those around him.
isaiah...was a cool as a cucumber. seriously an old pro for the other kids. i loved watching him talk his younger cousin through things. how he held out his arm for his sister as the walked down the isle together. his maturity, at every age, as overwhelmed me.
alaythia...in that dress. it's hard to put into words. at the end of the night, i was standing with my brother-in-law watching the dance floor and i think he put it best. he said, 'because isaiah is the oldest, he's had many days in the sun. but today...today was alaythina's day to shine.' that dress was grand and gorgeous, and up until that day it had been an absolute fight to get her to even try it on. but the day came, she put it on like it was nothing.
the kids do dance parties at the house and had been looking forward to the 'dance party' part of wedding ever since they found out there would be a wedding. alaythia in fact, did not even wait for the dancing to officially start. in her dress, alone in a beautiful barn, she twirled and twisted to the background music. and i don't even know if dance is the right word.
as she heard the music, you saw her body move to the emotion it created in her. unashamed. unaware of anyone around her. for hours.
alaythia danced to the background music and was the last one off the dance floor at the end of the night. she and isaiah started the dancing, and kept it going throughout the night. they danced together, they danced hard, captured by everyone around them. the crowd chanted alaythia's name, she swung her hair and shook her arms. all in awe of this little girl.
matthew and i watched as only parents can. our hearts filled so much, tears spilled over. for her beauty...for who God has made her to be...for her being so many things we are not.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
night three
we're going on night three of isaiah not sleeping with his blankie. i know, i probably shouldn't be posting for the world that at 7 and a half he still sleeps with a blankie. but by the time he knows about this blog he'll be fine with it. (hi isaiah!)
he's never taken his blankie places, he's never carried it around the house. it stays in is bed, on his pillow. and each night before bed he lays it out perfectly flat and centered and then lays his head down on it. i haven't felt much need to 'wean' him off of it, because it's not a big deal, it's not something honestly that i think about at all...until a few nights ago.
it was time for bed and as has happened a thousand times before, he asked where it was. and EVERY TIME for seven and half years, i've always been able to find it. but three nights ago, i couldn't. it was the perfect storm of sisters who had gotten on his bed that day and wrecked it to bits and a season and size change of clothes strewn ALL OVER the floor. and so we looked, and we looked and couldn't find it.
he was teary, we promised to keep looking and that surely we would be back in the room in a few minutes and have it for him. but, we never did find it. last night the same thing, ready for bed and oops! where is blankie? still nothing, he slept again, we promised to keep looking (and get all the clothes off the floor the next day).
so this afternoon i went back into the abyss to start putting my organized piles away. and as i sorted i shook every piece of clothing knowing i would see the blue and white square blanket, with a yellow duck in the middle. as i sorted, isaiah stayed in the room helping and picking up. the closer i got to putting everything away, the more i started to panic. and then, when i was sure, i said, 'well buddy, blankie isn't here either.' he looked up at me, stared for a second and then said, 'don't worry mom, it's okay. really, it is. if i found it i would probably just let one of the girls sleep with it anyway. i don't really need it anymore.'
and that's when the lump in my throat rose fast and my knees felt weak. my little boy-man just told me that it really wasn't a big deal to have the blankie he has slept with every night of his his ENTIRE life.
he doesn't need it, but somewhere in me I still needed him to need it.
there was no denying it, so i just spoke it straight. i looked him in the eye and said, 'i'm going to cry.' he asked me why and i told him it was a big boy thing, he was growing up, and it is catching me by surprise. then i asked him to come and hug me and i kissed his head over and over and cried. he was unphased, i was a wreck.
tonight at bed he didn't even ask for it. i wanted him to. i waited for it. but he never did. i will find that blanket, i know i will. but i guess instead of sneaking it back into his room, i'll tuck it away, making it an official keepsake of isaiah's childhood.
he's never taken his blankie places, he's never carried it around the house. it stays in is bed, on his pillow. and each night before bed he lays it out perfectly flat and centered and then lays his head down on it. i haven't felt much need to 'wean' him off of it, because it's not a big deal, it's not something honestly that i think about at all...until a few nights ago.
it was time for bed and as has happened a thousand times before, he asked where it was. and EVERY TIME for seven and half years, i've always been able to find it. but three nights ago, i couldn't. it was the perfect storm of sisters who had gotten on his bed that day and wrecked it to bits and a season and size change of clothes strewn ALL OVER the floor. and so we looked, and we looked and couldn't find it.
he was teary, we promised to keep looking and that surely we would be back in the room in a few minutes and have it for him. but, we never did find it. last night the same thing, ready for bed and oops! where is blankie? still nothing, he slept again, we promised to keep looking (and get all the clothes off the floor the next day).
so this afternoon i went back into the abyss to start putting my organized piles away. and as i sorted i shook every piece of clothing knowing i would see the blue and white square blanket, with a yellow duck in the middle. as i sorted, isaiah stayed in the room helping and picking up. the closer i got to putting everything away, the more i started to panic. and then, when i was sure, i said, 'well buddy, blankie isn't here either.' he looked up at me, stared for a second and then said, 'don't worry mom, it's okay. really, it is. if i found it i would probably just let one of the girls sleep with it anyway. i don't really need it anymore.'
and that's when the lump in my throat rose fast and my knees felt weak. my little boy-man just told me that it really wasn't a big deal to have the blankie he has slept with every night of his his ENTIRE life.
he doesn't need it, but somewhere in me I still needed him to need it.
there was no denying it, so i just spoke it straight. i looked him in the eye and said, 'i'm going to cry.' he asked me why and i told him it was a big boy thing, he was growing up, and it is catching me by surprise. then i asked him to come and hug me and i kissed his head over and over and cried. he was unphased, i was a wreck.
tonight at bed he didn't even ask for it. i wanted him to. i waited for it. but he never did. i will find that blanket, i know i will. but i guess instead of sneaking it back into his room, i'll tuck it away, making it an official keepsake of isaiah's childhood.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
annual fall festival
last night we attended the seminary's fall family festival. it was the 5th year we've attended. 5th year!!! i dare say it is the most traditional thing in our family's life. heck, we've been going every year since before sophia was born! the first two years we were living at the seminary and walked up with all of our neighbors. the first year we had no idea what to expect, and were so blown away by all that they had for us to do. the second year a larger group of neighbors headed up as it was the 100th anniversary of the seminary and it was rumored to be a great time. sky divers and fireworks shows did not dissappoint.
the third and fourth year we went with dear friends, who have since moved and are doing other things. i spent a good part of last night remembering and thinking about all the families we have met in our time here that are no longer living near us. all the wonderful people who have now moved on and are scattered about the country. mississippi, pennsylvania, vermont, illionois, indiana, georgia, arizona. we could go anywhere in the U.S. and have someone to visit!
last night i looked forward to going just the 5 of us. to holding matt's hand and watching our kids play. from being pregnant, to pushing strollers, to not even going with a diaper, i anticipated it would be a freeing night to sit back and watch the kids play.
bounce houses and slides. cotton candy and pony rides. cowboy hats and funnel cake. it was a great night. and as we left, our sugared up kids thanked us profusely for taking them.
half way through the night the president addressed everyone, thanking everyone for coming. he talked about why they throw such a bang up party every year. part of the reason is solely for the kids. to give them a good time in the hopes that when they think back to the 'time when mommy or daddy was in school' it will be filled with good memories. remember it as a happy time.
i appreciated him saying that, but as i thought of my own kids, about their experience here in kentucky, i realized they would never think of it as 'the time daddy was in school'. it's just their life. for sophia and alaythia, all of their memories, all and the majority of their lives have been in kentucky. and we have a great life here. isaiah already laments the idea of leaving.
maybe it was the extravagance of last night. maybe it was the back drop of the beautiful buildings of southern seminary against the kentucky sky. or maybe it was 5 years. the tradition, the people, the familiarity. if matt doesn't get me out of here soon...i just might stay.
the third and fourth year we went with dear friends, who have since moved and are doing other things. i spent a good part of last night remembering and thinking about all the families we have met in our time here that are no longer living near us. all the wonderful people who have now moved on and are scattered about the country. mississippi, pennsylvania, vermont, illionois, indiana, georgia, arizona. we could go anywhere in the U.S. and have someone to visit!
last night i looked forward to going just the 5 of us. to holding matt's hand and watching our kids play. from being pregnant, to pushing strollers, to not even going with a diaper, i anticipated it would be a freeing night to sit back and watch the kids play.
bounce houses and slides. cotton candy and pony rides. cowboy hats and funnel cake. it was a great night. and as we left, our sugared up kids thanked us profusely for taking them.
half way through the night the president addressed everyone, thanking everyone for coming. he talked about why they throw such a bang up party every year. part of the reason is solely for the kids. to give them a good time in the hopes that when they think back to the 'time when mommy or daddy was in school' it will be filled with good memories. remember it as a happy time.
i appreciated him saying that, but as i thought of my own kids, about their experience here in kentucky, i realized they would never think of it as 'the time daddy was in school'. it's just their life. for sophia and alaythia, all of their memories, all and the majority of their lives have been in kentucky. and we have a great life here. isaiah already laments the idea of leaving.
maybe it was the extravagance of last night. maybe it was the back drop of the beautiful buildings of southern seminary against the kentucky sky. or maybe it was 5 years. the tradition, the people, the familiarity. if matt doesn't get me out of here soon...i just might stay.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
jump
after five and half years of life the things i'd tell you i know, and have learned, about alaythia are:
-she marches to the beat of her own drum. she is not swayed by what others think....at all.
-if she doesn't want to do something, she absolutely is not going to do it. no matter what.
-she is SLOW to warm up. be it people, a new experience, or a new task. she may get there eventually, but you can bet it's gonna take a long long time and be on her own terms.
i know these things are great qualities. i know that in the long run, they are qualities i want my daughter to have. not care what other think of her, not do something unless she wants to, not be swayed into making a decision, to think it through and take her time. but i'll be honest - raising a daughter with these qualities is not always easy.
for all the struggle that these qualities have caused, i must admit that in the last 3 weeks, i have become completely taken with them. completely fascinated in watching her - be true to herself.
she is deathly afraid of going underwater or being in the water without a floatie. she was recently in swim lessons, and i watched her push herself like i have never seen her do before. and as a result, just yesterday, she decided she wanted to jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool. it was her idea and she went over and stood in line to let it be her turn.
there were about 10 kids using the board, going off in perfect rhythm. parents were cheering their child on as each did a 'trick' as they jumped. and then came alaythia. her first time on it. she walked to the end, her dad paddling below her. she stood there. waited. bent her knees and stood back up. she stood there for at least 5 minutes. she didn't care what the other kids were thinking. she didn't care how her dad was coaxing her. she didn't care how long it took. she stood and pondered. she eventually walked back to the end of the diving board unable to jump. but to my surprise, she didn't come to me in the shallow end, she got back at the end of the long line of kids. the rhythm started up again. jumping, splashing, cheering. then alaythia, slowly, quietly walks to the end. she stands, unashamed, unaware of anyone else. she tries yet again and is unable to jump. as she decends the board, she again goes to the back of the line. the third time proves to be the same scenario, except this time she comes to me instead of getting in line.
she lets all her pent up tears out and i'm telling her how hard she pushed, how much progress she made. how it's okay, next time we come she can try again. and through her sobs i hear her say, 'i want to do it so bad mom, but i'm so afraid'. i tell her how she should be proud, her dad walks up fresh out of the deep end and tells her she has made huge strides.
and then, as if hit with a bolt, she pulls her head off my shoulder, stops crying, turns and walks back to the deep end and gets in line. her dad and i stare at each other, completely at a loss, and he runs back to the deep end to get in.
she had made up her mind. she was pushing herself. she didn't care that she had been out there before, or that all the other kids were watching her. she wanted to do it and wasn't going to be stopped by fear. and she did it. she walked to end, stood there for a few seconds...and jumped in. i wish i could have recorded the uproarious cheering that went on by every single person in the pool area.
and i cried. not because i was relived, not because i was proud. but because i saw in her, in that moment, in my 5 year old daughter, everything i want to be. not on others time tables, not swayed but what others might think of me. not choosing to do something because someone wants me to, but because i want to. i want to be able to think it through, weigh it, go slow. and when i'm good and ready, and still very afraid, look my fear in the eye, decide it won't stop me.
and jump.
-she marches to the beat of her own drum. she is not swayed by what others think....at all.
-if she doesn't want to do something, she absolutely is not going to do it. no matter what.
-she is SLOW to warm up. be it people, a new experience, or a new task. she may get there eventually, but you can bet it's gonna take a long long time and be on her own terms.
i know these things are great qualities. i know that in the long run, they are qualities i want my daughter to have. not care what other think of her, not do something unless she wants to, not be swayed into making a decision, to think it through and take her time. but i'll be honest - raising a daughter with these qualities is not always easy.
for all the struggle that these qualities have caused, i must admit that in the last 3 weeks, i have become completely taken with them. completely fascinated in watching her - be true to herself.
she is deathly afraid of going underwater or being in the water without a floatie. she was recently in swim lessons, and i watched her push herself like i have never seen her do before. and as a result, just yesterday, she decided she wanted to jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool. it was her idea and she went over and stood in line to let it be her turn.
there were about 10 kids using the board, going off in perfect rhythm. parents were cheering their child on as each did a 'trick' as they jumped. and then came alaythia. her first time on it. she walked to the end, her dad paddling below her. she stood there. waited. bent her knees and stood back up. she stood there for at least 5 minutes. she didn't care what the other kids were thinking. she didn't care how her dad was coaxing her. she didn't care how long it took. she stood and pondered. she eventually walked back to the end of the diving board unable to jump. but to my surprise, she didn't come to me in the shallow end, she got back at the end of the long line of kids. the rhythm started up again. jumping, splashing, cheering. then alaythia, slowly, quietly walks to the end. she stands, unashamed, unaware of anyone else. she tries yet again and is unable to jump. as she decends the board, she again goes to the back of the line. the third time proves to be the same scenario, except this time she comes to me instead of getting in line.
she lets all her pent up tears out and i'm telling her how hard she pushed, how much progress she made. how it's okay, next time we come she can try again. and through her sobs i hear her say, 'i want to do it so bad mom, but i'm so afraid'. i tell her how she should be proud, her dad walks up fresh out of the deep end and tells her she has made huge strides.
and then, as if hit with a bolt, she pulls her head off my shoulder, stops crying, turns and walks back to the deep end and gets in line. her dad and i stare at each other, completely at a loss, and he runs back to the deep end to get in.
she had made up her mind. she was pushing herself. she didn't care that she had been out there before, or that all the other kids were watching her. she wanted to do it and wasn't going to be stopped by fear. and she did it. she walked to end, stood there for a few seconds...and jumped in. i wish i could have recorded the uproarious cheering that went on by every single person in the pool area.
and i cried. not because i was relived, not because i was proud. but because i saw in her, in that moment, in my 5 year old daughter, everything i want to be. not on others time tables, not swayed but what others might think of me. not choosing to do something because someone wants me to, but because i want to. i want to be able to think it through, weigh it, go slow. and when i'm good and ready, and still very afraid, look my fear in the eye, decide it won't stop me.
and jump.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
sleep
i should be in bed. i should be asleep. but i fell asleep on the couch earlier in the night as the boys were doing their draft for fantasy football and it was enough to keep me from falling asleep now. just enough sleep to trick my body into thinking it needs to be up.
i lay down and my mind is racing. the milestones passed, the family who is hurting, the friends who are mad, why did that person call? and so i get up to return to a place to write it down. somewhere i haven't been in months, but find myself wanting to come back to.
my sweet alaythia started kindergarten last week. the long awaited time when she too would get to go to school. she was so ready, so happy. in fact the second day of school she was completely dressed (shoes and all) by 6:15am. i'm one of those people that processes before something happens. the weeks leading up to a big event i'll spend hours and hours working through all my issues, every scenario. and when the time comes i'm ready, i'm present, i've got it all worked through in my head. but my life has not lent itself to that in the weeks leading up to alaythia's first day of school. it's been hectic and i've only been able to thinking about the next most urgent mountain to climb. and so that is why on the way to school that first morning i cried. why after i walked her into class i cried. why i continued to cry all day. i was so happy and she was so ready. but i was caught off guard. i had to mourn a season of her life being over and rejoice at a new one beginning. cry good tears of a rich full life that i lead.
our baby turned three a few weeks ago. not a baby anymore, but as i like to whisper in her ear every so often, she'll always be my baby. since february when every other sibling in the house got a birthday sophia has prayed and thanked God, each night at dinner, that she was going to have a birthday and that she was going to be three. and boy i was not going to disappoint. i wanted to do it up big and do it up right and celebrate sophia to the max. it was her first birthday that she KNEW it was her birthday. balloons and the color blue. singing and facetime. presents and friends. she spent the day dancing through each event, giddy with all that surrounded her. i cherish sophia, always have. i soak up her everything because she'll be the last to do it. and i'm so grateful for her. on the morning we dropped matt, isaiah and alaythia off at school she held my hand as we walked out of the school and as i cried she did a happy dance that we were going to have a 'date day' all day long. and she was a salve to my heart. a gift and reminder of the sweet toddler girl i now get alone time with.
life keeps happening, things keep moving forward. and i'm grateful. thankful. these people that God has given me to live life with are really extra-ordinary!
i lay down and my mind is racing. the milestones passed, the family who is hurting, the friends who are mad, why did that person call? and so i get up to return to a place to write it down. somewhere i haven't been in months, but find myself wanting to come back to.
my sweet alaythia started kindergarten last week. the long awaited time when she too would get to go to school. she was so ready, so happy. in fact the second day of school she was completely dressed (shoes and all) by 6:15am. i'm one of those people that processes before something happens. the weeks leading up to a big event i'll spend hours and hours working through all my issues, every scenario. and when the time comes i'm ready, i'm present, i've got it all worked through in my head. but my life has not lent itself to that in the weeks leading up to alaythia's first day of school. it's been hectic and i've only been able to thinking about the next most urgent mountain to climb. and so that is why on the way to school that first morning i cried. why after i walked her into class i cried. why i continued to cry all day. i was so happy and she was so ready. but i was caught off guard. i had to mourn a season of her life being over and rejoice at a new one beginning. cry good tears of a rich full life that i lead.
life keeps happening, things keep moving forward. and i'm grateful. thankful. these people that God has given me to live life with are really extra-ordinary!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
first and last
it's the last day of 1st grade for isaiah. when he comes home to me he'll officially be a 2nd grader.
i'm so grateful for a fabulous year. we had so much fun in 1st grade. we were in a great groove and it was just plain fun! when our school opens next year we'll have two official students...they are already talking about how to organize their desks.
first day of school
today, on his last day
i'm so grateful for a fabulous year. we had so much fun in 1st grade. we were in a great groove and it was just plain fun! when our school opens next year we'll have two official students...they are already talking about how to organize their desks.
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