2 months

you have changed our world sophia hope. we love you!

hello world

hoedown filled up

we went to our first hoedown last night here in kentucky. complete with cowboy hats and a blue grass band all taking place in a barn. and yes, i forgot every camera i own.

it was an event for the school matt teaches at. the families and teachers of the school were all invited. we drove outside of the city for quite sometime to a large family farm with a huge barn. i'm always shocked at how rural kentucky is, as i don't get out of the city much. in the city i feel at home, but i'm shocked the minute i leave it.

it was a good night, some of the highlights:

-isaiah and alaythia were the first to start the dancing with the blue grass band. as soon as the music started they both stood up and started dancing. i don't know if i've been more proud of them. different reasons.
1-the love for dance is in them, that is something i wanted to pass down, and it looks like it has.
2-they are uninhibited. they don't know to care what other people might think, it's what we do in our family culture and so that's what they do when they are in public. i hope there are MANY things that transfer that way.
3-they were together. they danced together ALL NIGHT. they love each other. as the crowd swelled and they joined hands with other kids to circle and spin, at times alaythia got overwhelmed. but with the big brother she has, who can coach her along and watch out for her, she did just fine.
4-they felt so big getting to make decisions for themselves all night. we basically let them do whatever they wanted. we would watch from a distance and every so often they would run back and make up some important fact to tell us. or ask permission for something they were already doing, just to draw attention to what big kids they were.

-sophia slept the whole time in the baby bjorn.

-isaiah has a confidence that i hope never leaves him. toward the end of the night, we were getting ready to head home and isaiah begged to go outside. there was a group of 5th and 6th graders playing....well, it was that girl and guy flirting thing. a lot of running and screaming. isaiah jumped right in. he didn't know what they were playing, and even though they all were older than him, he joined. there are kids playing, he wanted to play, so he did. he ran and laughed as they changed directions, even though he didn't know what was going on. when they were done and the groups started to walk away he threw his hands up and said, 'hey guys, what's up?' yeah, he's 4. they were gracious, but didn't invite him to go with them. he seemed unfazed. i hope he retains that confidence.

-i love being the teacher's wife. after years of always being the student, last night, for the first time the tables were turned. and i'll admit, i was proud of my husband. he was gracious to the parents that came up and made comments about his work load. he complimented children to their parents and i saw the difference in made in their eyes. i heard him articulate the vision he has for the students learning latin, and his hope for them. and i was thankful for the encouragement he got from others about the discussions he's prompted in homes with the homework he's assigned for his logic classes.

yes, it was a good night. i was filled up.

p.s. on the sophia note: i have changed my diet, taking out fat and diary. the reflux seems to be less intense, not gone, but seems to bother her less. and per sophia's great grandmother we are trying chamomile tea. i drink it and so does she. the crying is less, not gone, but less. she's decided she wants her bed time to be 3am. yeah, that's not going to work much longer.

down to the bounce

after days and days of crying without being comforted, i believe we are stretched thinner than we ever have been before. i said last week we were hanging on by a thread. that thread feels like it's about to snap.

but today...today she smiled. not in her sleep, not because of gas, but a real look-you-in-the-eye smile. alaythia was holding her, she was locked on with daddy. and in typical fashion, mommy missed it. but she smiled. a bit of sophia came through today and i felt like maybe i might get to know this little girl someday.

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i bounce and sway, shush and hum. i stand in my bathroom with the fan going, sophia seems to like that better. alaythia pops her curly-haired head in the door, 'mommy? what you doing?' 'trying to put sophia to sleep. what are you doing?' she convinces me to come out to the living room where the boys are reading books, she take a detour into her bedroom and picks up her baby doll on the way. all of the sudden she's at my side. bouncing, swaying. our hips bump as we sway. (actually it's more like my hips hitting her head!)

my baby starts to fuss. i invite her to bring her baby into the bathroom with me. so the four of us head back in. i can barely see her face in the bottom of the mirror. i bounce, she bounces. i hum, she hums. i start to shush, she shushes. i can't help but look at my daughter. my daughter.

we're both standing in front of the mirror, she copies my every move. how many times have i been in this situation? but never as the mother. she catches my eye and we both smile. our noses scrunch up the same and our shushing sound changes. we laugh through our bouncing and breath at the same moment.

i'm struck with her beauty. with the fact that she's mine. i'm overwhelmed that she's taking all her cues from me. down to the bounce. my heart is full as i bounce one and watch one bounce her own baby doll.

then daddy comes in with her toothbrush, yes, even mommy's have to brush their teeth.

quote of the day

there isn't much time for anything right now. we're in the thick of things. and this quote sums it all up. it's 4:30pm as matt is pouring himself some freshly brewed coffee. i hear him mumble to himself in the kitchen:

'man does not live on coffee alone....that's why i have my lucky charms.'

take that cow down

thursday night is 'kids eat free' night at chick-fil-a. so we thought we'd try it out this past week. it was packed and we saw several friends there that night. because it was family night they thought it would be fantastic to have the chick-fil-a cow there walking around. we were talking with friends when the cow came around the corner.

suddenly alaythia was shaking and clinging to my leg. she was so afraid she couldn't even cry. i looked down and told her it would be okay and she said in a shaky voice, 'noooooo.' i could see and feel that she was beyond reasoning so i picked her up, said goodbye and walked to go order our food in the opposite direction of the cow. alaythia was quiet and watching the cow's every move. we circled around it, stood between her and the cow and finally got to our seat. as we were eating alaythia kept a close eye on where the cow was and made sure it came no where near us.

all of the sudden the cow started toward our table. alaythia started to shake in fear and matt said, 'alaythia, don't you worry. i can take that cow down!' 'what?!' she says in her cute little voice. 'i'll take the cow down, it won't hurt you.'

and then it was over. she was no longer afraid of the cow. instead she spent the rest of our dinner standing in the booth and yelling repeatedly, 'daddy, you take that cow down!' while pointing her finger and swinging her arm. matt would nod and reassure her that she had it right.

that was last thursday. every day since, no less than three times a day, alaythia will say to matt, 'daddy, you take the cow down?' 'yes, alaythia, i'll take that cow down!' but in reality, it's much more than a funny story. matt and alaythia have had a break through. it's like, she's finally got it - daddy has her back. in fact, today she said, 'daddy, you take the cow down...i no be afraid.'

oh sweet girl, it's a whole new world. you understand in a new way that your dad is on your side. and there is no need to be afraid.

tu-tu

there is so much to write about. about the date night that matt and i went on last night (with sophia) to cheesecake factory...on a gift card from our community group from church. how the gift card came with babysitting...and a group of women who came and cleaned my house while i was away. amazing huh?

or the red umbrella. that is going to go get it's own post. the neighborhood women who gather around the red umbrella every day, and who have been and continue to be a huge support to me. how i had no idea the community i was moving into when i arrived here.

but those things will take a backseat to nicknames. that's right nicknames. we seem to be obsessed with them lately. alaythia especially.

in typical mom fashion, when one of my kids is in trouble their middle name is used. isaiah martin has been said a lot lately. alaythia now thinks when there is something serious to be said, you add 'martin' to it. tonight i heard her say 'daddy martin!' i'm sorry martin family, i know when we named isaiah you were afraid your name might get used this way. but be encouraged, you're a part of our everyday life!

we have been adamant from the beginning that our kids are named what they are because we like those names. you inevitably get asked when you tell your child's name, 'what are you going to call them?' our answer has always been their full name. that's why we were naming them that. sophia was no different. before her arrival we would say, it is not sophie or soph...even though we have zay man and layth. you'd think we would have learned.

alaythia has started the downward slippery slop of a nickname for sophia, the sibling-given names are the ones that stick i'm afraid. 'hi sophia tunia!' at first i didn't know if i heard it right, but she's repeated it several times. i'm sure one day we'll be calling sophia 'tu-tu' and someone will ask us how in the world we got to 'tu-tu' from sophia. we'll trace each nickname in order until we come back to the beginning. it's a lot like how you get 'beej' from maddie, or 'budge' from laura.

matt's even joined in. sopherific (which comes from soporific - which means sleep inducing).