when he plays

there are few things i love more than hearing matthew play the piano. he doesn't do it very often. there has to be nothing pressing on him, nothing he feels like he HAS to do at that moment. not very conducive for a PhD program. but if he feels he can, he'll sit down without music in front of him, and play what comes out, what he feels. it's beautiful, relaxing, moving. yesterday was one of those days.

school is finished, 1 year down. we were having company over so the house was clean, every last toy in it's place, trash taken out, floors vacuumed. we had about 15 minutes before they were supposed to arrive. he sat down and played.

the kids had been going balistic...crazy really. you know, that after dinner burn. but as soon as he started to play they both calmed. laying on the floor listening, mesmerized. i sat on the couch, closed my eyes and enjoyed. thinking how much i loved to just listen, how much i love him, and all the memorable times he's played for me.

for most of his life when he would go places, he'd be asked to play for people. my 21st birthday was no different. my mom threw a huge party, and i brought matt home with me. i'm not sure if the size of it was because of my birthday, or because everyone wanted to meet him.

after dinner, in true form, my mom asked him to play the piano. i crawled up to the landing on the stairs, to listen. he chose 'to God be the glory' to play. i think my mom was crying...and in the middle of it a good friend whispered in my ear 'he's the one!'

the reality is, it's good for my soul. like hitting a reset button. hearing what's inside of him, letting it wash over me. i felt like it set the mood for the next few months. a time of rest from school, more time together, peace.

i think i should have him play more often.