it should be a day of celebrating. it should be filled with her first taste of sugar, candles and gifts. but it's not. it's a day of remembering the time that was lost. the time that we didn't get.
today would be olivia jewel miller's first birthday.
i said it just weeks after she was gone. she changed me. this past year she has continued to. her presence, or lack of it, has permeated parts of my life i didn't think possible. random remembrance that brings me to tears. deep longing to know her and watch her grow. and, almost at the moment i found out sophia was growing inside me, i thought of her. i have struggled and wondered what is to come. i do not take for granted when a new baby comes into the world. i hate to say i'm surprised by it, but how can i expect any different? it was no small thing to lose her.
i woke up today and she was the first person that came to my mind. i prayed for her mom, her dad, her grandma. once again praying that Jesus would meet them in their pain, in ways beyond our understanding.
i look at her face, still, as her picture sits in our living room. little olivia. you are so very missed. your little life left such a huge hole.
2 comments:
Yes...all day thinking about the Miller family. Thinking about Olivia Jewel's little life, her person, her chunkiness, her beauty. The tradegy of that day lingers but the promise of resurrection is ours. Her litle body resurrected. Resurrection is her reality. Here is to remembering Olivia Jewel on her first resurrection birthday. No candle or cupcakes for us, but for sweet Olivia Jewel...Jesus Himself.
Donna
thinking of you all today.
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