new and improved

we're home now. have been for several days. we arrived back in kentucky different people. i'm still sure that i can't fully describe to you where we were. emotionally, physically, spiritually. a very dark, dark place.

but in vancouver there is a concentration of family. and it took every one of them to nurse us back to life. a few days before we headed home i finally felt like myself again, i felt human. back home, in kentucky, neighbors and friends took care of matt. the 5 of us reunited totally different people. i was ready to come home. matt was rested, caught up. isaiah was taller. alaythia could speak clearer.

but 'the most significant change' award goes to the youngest of this godshall bunch. about a week or so into our visit she just stopped. she stopped screaming for no apparent reason. she started smiling, sitting contentedly, cooing and talking with people. and now that she doesn't spend ALL DAY screaming, she's packing on the pounds. she gets chunkier every day.

and we are different.

words could not describe what family did for us. they gathered together, they each took turns doing what they could, they gave, they sacrificed and they brought us back to life. then they sent us out to continue the journey we're on. and i'm more convinced, amazingly, that this is the journey we are supposed to be on.

i long to be near family someday. after these past weeks and months i'm more convinced we're not designed to do this alone. but until we are, i will be grateful for what we get, concentrated chunks. and be more grateful for the lot that was given to me. an amazing lot at that.