from a different angle

i don't look at the pictures, i don't look up, i just look at the words on the page. i read as fast as i can, getting through as much as i can in the shortest amount of time. i'm sure if i ever picked up one of the books (that i've read 100 times) and didn't read the words, but looked at the pictures, it would seem like a brand new book.

tonight i didn't read the book. i was sitting next to matt and isaiah as they read. alaythia was asleep in my arms and instead of looking at the words, i looked at isaiah. his little face. i don't know that i've seen his face when he reads a book. i studied his lips. little peaks on the top lip. his nose...not sure if it will be big one day, but it's perfect now. his eyes. i can see them move from illustration to illustration. every once in a while he'll look up at matt. random times. i couldn't figure out what made him look.

i don't see him still, intense, concentrating. the very seldom times he is doing that, i'm not staring at him. tonight i saw him from a different angle. and i watched in wonder. he's a beautiful, smart, intense little boy. tonight i could hardly believe that was isaiah before me. and i'm with him every day.

alaythia's walking around now with a walker. it's crazy to see. just yesterday she took off. pushing her wooden cart around. she's so proud of herself. she walks and then stops and looks into my eyes for approval. i gush. i'm still not quite ready to leave her side. i'm afraid it will get going to fast and her little legs won't be able to keep up. or she'll run into something and lose her balance. last night matt was helping her around the room. i was in the kitchen getting dinner ready when i saw her. my little alaythia, standing all by herself (with her wooden help). babbling, walking...her little toosh, her short little legs. doing such a big girl thing and yet with the backdrop of the room she looked so small. i'm not usually far from her when she stands. but last night i was. i saw her from a different angle. and while she's growing faster than i can imagine, she's still so incredibly small.

i get used to seeing these faces. i become accustomed to their size and behaviors. i'm thankful for the occasional different angle to bring me back to the wonder of who these people really are.