Monday, February 18, 2008

my journey to wheaton

how can that be? well, i'm still in vancouver, with my kids. but my heart is in wheaton. i was so focused on what matt was going to be doing while he was there, i forgot that he'll be gone from me. i miss him. laura and caleb came to hang out with us. it's been so great to be together.

it's been a journey for me to figure out how i fit into this experience. i want control, i want to make sure things are done my own way, the way i think is best. but with this, it's been different. from the beginning it's been a long shot, and we've known that it would be God and only God getting us there. 1 spot...out of all the people that want it? so it's almost forced me trust. to butt out of it and let matt be matt and not meddle. to trust God that he knows best and will get us where he wants us to be.

and yet, last night laura, jake, rose, mom and i sat around the living room talking about matt. trying yet again to figure out the outcome. and yet again to no avail. an exercise in patience and trust for sure.

matt called this morning after his first appointment. i was still in bed, as he's 2 hours ahead. he sounded good. he didn't sleep much last night, but he sounded energized. i am reminded that he's in his element. talking that talk, being free to run with thoughts with other's who understand. he was still in that mode when he called this morning and forgot that i can't follow. but i enjoyed listening anyway.

yes, my body may be in vancouver but my heart is in wheaton...

2 comments:

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I'm thinking about all of you and praying for an answer...

Take care.

julie martin said...

nattie, love this. great writing.