if you've never heard her music, you really are missing out. she expresses things that i feel, but never could put words to. she has helped me through heartache, she has spurred me on to love God. her words, that drip with the truth of God, penetrate deep into my heart, revealing the truth of who i am and what i need.
this morning was no different.
she had a cd that came out in 2005, Station Wagon - songs for parents. like every cd of hers i immediately went out and bought it. but surprisingly, i remember not really liking it. i haven't listened to it since.
i feel like we've listened to every cd in our car 100 times...a couple days ago, in an act of desperation, longing for something new, i pulled this cd out and popped it in. it's been playing for several days now. you have to listen closely to sara. every line is full. if you don't know the songs, and have two loud little ones in the car....well, you can see how it might have taken me a few days to really hear the words of what she was saying.
as the reality of the move becomes more clear, i find my mind and heart wandering to isaiah. the transition will be huge, in many different ways. as huge as not living with his grandparents or as shallow as the furniture not looking the least bit familiar to him. (everything that is ours has been in storage.) my heart is burdened, hurting for him. he's young, kids are resilient i know. but a mother's heart...
this is the song that i heard sara sing this morning...and i cried tears of thankfulness for the truth of it, trusting all of who the Lord is. trusting him with isaiah and his heart - as i have experienced God in new ways through the trails and the waiting of the past few months.
'prayers for this child'
i do not know how i am to pray for this child
as a mother i don't want my baby denied
but in the waiting in the waiting
i learned
every instinct in me wants to shield him from pain
take the arrows of misery heartache and blame
but in the sorrow in the sorrow
i learned to hold on
i only have two eyes - be all seeing
i only have two hands - be everywhere
i do not know enough - be all knowing
i give this baby up into your care
i do not know how, how to pray for this child
i want to guard her from everything wicked and wild
but in the trial in the trial
i learned to hold on
and in the trial, in the trial
i learned to hold on to the heart of God
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3 comments:
oh my goodness, Natalie!! Now I know we are sisters separated at birth. I love Sara Groves and especially that song. When I was pregnant with Caden I was having complications and we didn't know if he would make it - we just had to wait and I remember just lying on his bedroom floor listening to those words over and over. Then for his dedication I made a video with that song playing.
I went to her concert once and it was the best time ever with all of her stories.
And one of the best gifts I ever received was a handmade book that Jeff made of all these writings of hers that he found from different places on the internet.
Maybe I should have sent an email...I just got excited that you "get her" like me.
Natalie,
I agree with you about Sara Groves..more than that I love the way the Lord is so faithful to meet you right where you are, in just the way that you need.
In all things He is present and able. Take continued comfort in the truth that He loves our children even more than we do. Will use all things to shape them into His likeness.
Bev
as you know, sara truth moves me too. remember the concert we went to with you & matt, where after she sang her first song, she confessed that she had forgotten to take her breath mint out of her mouth and sang the entire song with it and the extra spit that accompanied it tucked into her cheek? if we didn't already love her, she certainly won us over with that confession.
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