Thursday, September 11, 2008

everything and nothing

it is never my intention to not be real about our life. to make everything look rosey and peaceful. i think as i look back on the posts, i just post about good stuff. and don't make time to really 'emote' as i write.

but the reality is that it's been hard to be here. yes, there have been MANY great things. and God has provided for us in MANY tangible ways. we know this is where we are supposed to be. but that doesn't mean it hasn't been hard. quite the opposite actually.

yesterday i had a meltdown and felt like i just couldn't do it anymore. and in the middle of that meltdown i realized that i didn't understand WHY i didn't think i could do it anymore. only sending me spiraling further down.

even as i sit to try to figure out what exactly has been hard, i have trouble trying to put it into words. i find myself thinking everything and then nothing. when i find words, i'll be sure to let you know.

3 comments:

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

Oh sweet Natalie, my heart goes out to you.

So many blessings, but also a lot of big changes.

You're in my thoughts & prayers.

Christi said...

I completely get it.

julie martin said...

glad you let us in.

thank you, and God's peace for your heart.

love you