one year

one year ago today, about this time, sophia was making her entrance into this world. the beautiful, screaming, perfect bundle of love. i remember the overwhelming sense of peace that washed over me as i held her skin to skin wrapped in warm blankets. i was overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness to God for her. for bringing her to us safely, for her perfect face and dark hair.


the next few months proved to be the toughest of my life so far. i remember posting on her 2 month update 'sophia, you have changed our world.' i remember being so tired, so sick, so weary, unable to function. i wasn't filled with joy, the only true thing i could think to say was, 'you have changed our world.'


but then a few weeks later, she got help for the pain she was in and the amount of frustration we felt turned in equal amounts to joy. and since, she has been a pure joy. i mean it with all sincerity that i wish each of you could spend just an hour with her. you would be taken with her sweet spirit, her smiles and easy going personality.


i'm not ready for her to be done being a baby. i want her to say small enough to be in my arms for a while longer. it's fitting that i mourn her babyhood. that i long for her to stay the way she is. but i'm also eagerly anticipating getting to know her more. just like i'm not exactly like either of my brothers, i believe she will not be exactly like isaiah or alaythia (and man are they different). as each day unfolds and as she gets older, my anticipation grows.


she has no desire to stay small, in fact, when she does a 'big kid thing' her face lights up the brightest. i know she longs to be running and romping with them. all in good time sophia, please for your mommy's sake, don't rush it.


we had her birthday party over the weekend. small...but we skyped the family in. it was a sight to see. her in her high chair with two laptops in front of her. papa and gg had decorated the house and themselves for the occasion. my siblings, parents, aunt, uncle and cousins all gathered together to join in. she had 'happy birthday' sung to her from 3 different states at one time. if they all couldn't be with us, that was the next best thing.


tonight when daddy gets home we'll all ride our bikes, and sophia will ride in her new bike trailer she got for her birthday, to the ice cream shop to celebrate our girl. our soaf-a-loaf, our honey-tickles, our sweet baby girl.