g'ma brig

there is a nip in the air. we haven't turned the heater on yet...something about if we don't then we really won't be heading into winter. so when the kids got up on this lazy saturday morning i found them all snuggling on the couch in a comfy, fuzzy, tattered blanket.

it is a throw blanket that belonged to my grandma (i think i've mentioned it before). it hung over her couch, and when she passed i inherited the couch...and the blanket. i snapped a picture of the kids this morning and wished g'ma (as she liked to be referred to in writing) could know and love my kids. and that they could be loved by her. my heart ached for her.

we were sitting at dinner tonight and isaiah started singing songs from the lion king. matt commented that elton john had written those songs. we had to explain who he was and i told them of a time, when his grandma and grandpa went and saw him in concert and how he came out in a a cape filled with different colored balls of light.

they asked if i got to go to the concert - i didn't. i explained i was probably babysat by my grandma. and then for the next several minutes i told them about some of the wonderful things about my grandma.

that we were good friends, like they are with their grandmas. all of us grandkids laying together in bed with her in the morning and brainstorming all the wonderful things we could think to eat for breakfast, knowing g'ma would get up and make it for us until we could eat no more. somehow we'd almost always end up with french toast. how i loved her backyard because her deck was a stage...ready for me to put on show after show after show for anyone that would come and watch. how when i studied in israel for a semester in college she came and visited me there. she climbed every mountain, she trudged through tunnels, rode on boats and experienced the land with me. and how, she was taken from us far too soon in a car accident. my heart ached for her.

they kept bringing her up through out the night. little comments, a few questions. i loved that she was brought up casually, familiarly, as a normal part of our life.

as i was putting alaythia to bed she said, 'mom, did g'ma brig ever get tired of making french toast?' 'no', i said. 'well, then she liked to cook...just like me'. yes, layth. just. like. you.

and as i sat in the dark, tickling alaythia's back, i cried silent tears. my heart aching for her.

she would have loved you layth. your spunk. your 'girls rule' mentality. your love of life. i'm so sorry you didn't get to meet her. you would have loved her...and she would have absolutely adored you.