i need that boy

there are days when trusting the Lord is exhilarating. the unknown seems like an adventure. your faith is being stretched like a rubber band. you're reaching your limit, but you know you're going to be catapulted through the air very soon. then there are days when it's not so great. you're overwhelmed, afraid, tired of being in limbo and frankly, freaked out of your mind that everything in life is uncertain. today is one of those days. one of those days when you doubt everything...what you're doing, how you're doing it and that it will ever work out. when you're paralyzed by fear, sure that you don't have what it takes.

we had just gotten back from an outing. we pulled into the garage and before i could stop the car isaiah said, 'mom, let's listen to this song.' i obliged. i got alaythia out of her car seat and put her on my lap. we listened, sang and played. all of the sudden isaiah says from the back seat. 'we don't have to be afraid.' i whipped my head around and looked at him, searching his face, trying to figure out why he said that.

'what?!'
'we don't have to be afraid.'
i paused for a long time, our eyes locked.
'why don't we have to afraid?' i asked.
'because of Jesus....because we have Jesus.'
i nodded in approval.

i turned my head quickly and then disintegrated. sobbing into the back of alaythia's head at the profound truth that just came out of my son's mouth. letting the truth that he spoke sink deep into my heart. crying at God's goodness, his faithfulness, using even my 3 year old son to bring comfort and truth.

my son had no idea how much his mommy needed to hear what he had to say. there was no context for it. life may be uncertain, but what i do know is i need that boy. and i need the Lord. and together, we'll do it.