random thoughts..can you cut my food?

i'm not much for trying to type things out these days. the pregnancy brain has really taken over. i can barely get out what i'm feeling to my family, let alone make it readable for...whoever is out there.

in two weeks sophia will arrive. there is a lot going on in my head about that. the beauty of the third, i've found, is that you're not really stressed about it. you know you can handle multiple children, you have mostly everything you need, and so you just wait. sometimes life feels so normal and then i feel like we should be frantic, and when we're not, that freaks me out.

don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that sophia's arrival will be easy...i know it will be quite the opposite actually. but what can i do? one week from today matt will start his 3rd semester of a PhD program...two weeks from tomorrow our daughter will be born, and three weeks from tomorrow he will start teaching latin. BUT we have a whole team of people flying in to help to get us through those first REALLY hard weeks.

i long to hold sophia. to look at her and talk with her. to take in all her smells and enjoy every last drop of her baby-ness. i can feel her being the 'baby' of the family already. with isaiah and alaythia i was freaked out to 'do it right'. with her, i just want to keep her a baby as long as i can, and not rush anything. take it all in. so far, i'm keeping with all the sterotypes.

my hands are so sore from not getting circulation and are so swollen, i can't really grip anything. i drop things and spend most of my day trying to wring them free of ache. tonight at dinner i had to laugh, as matt cut isaiah meat, alaythia's meat...and then mine. at one point isaiah complained that his was not cut small enough and i had to start laughing. poor matt....