God held off the rain for the kids.....but not for me

fall is here. the morning was completely socked in with clouds. we even had a few waves of down pour. i needed to go to target and the sun had broke through, so i'd thought i'd venture out. i just took the stroller into target this morning because i only had a few things to buy. we took our time looking around, playing hide-n-go seek through the clothes. as we walked up to the check out line i saw that it was once again nasty outside. i could see the trees blowing, and the sun was gone. dark rain clouds were dumping what they had between me and my van.

'okay', i thought, 'this is the first time i'm going to have to do this with two kids'. it won't be the last as winter is fast approaching. alaythia had a shade over the top of her and isaiah had a hood. i had decided to wear capri jeans, short sleeve t-shirt and shoes with no socks. (because i got dressed during the brief time when the sun came out).

i stood under the awning, debating, planning my attack. then as if pushed, i darted out into the rain. it wasn't terrible, but wasn't mist. i could tell the rain was picking up so i started to run.

granted, the kids thought it was fantastic. isaiah was whooping and i could see little alaythia's legs a-kickin'. as i ran the water from the wheels splashed back onto me. there were two older women walking out at the same time and i could hear them cheering me on.

we arrived at the van just as a HUGE gust of wind blew and took both kids' breath away. i yelled for isaiah to get in the van as i bent down to unhook alaythia. isaiah crawled in under alaythia's car seat to the other side, and i began strapping alaythia in. God held off the rain for the kids. i sent a quick 'thank you' for the mercy, however small.

just as i clipped the last buckle for alaythia, the biggest deluge of the morning began. and i'm talking, i was completely soaked by the time she was squared away.

i ran to the back of the van, had to pop the trunk, fold the stroller, put it in.... done. ran to the driver's side door, opened it to strap isaiah in. he thought it was hilarious to see me move that fast, shrieking along the way. i opened the door looking like a drowned rat. he wasn't in his chair...in one swoop i grabbed him, lifted him up, plopped him down and strapped him in. the wiggly, giggly guy that he is -- especially when mommy's frazzled.

by the time i got in my seat i was laughing hysterically at myself, half in disbelief, half in shock. i looked like i had just taken a shower with my clothes on.

next time i'll think twice before going out in the rain with two little ones....or at least wear a coat.

Say What??! Wednesday

so our friend ben is a drummer. he is a professor of music at a couple local colleges and he teaches drum lessons as well. he offered last week to come over and have a drum lesson with isaiah. we totally jumped at the chance.

so after dinner ben asked isaiah if he wanted to head up to play the drums. isaiah quickly said yes and they started that way. ben started to explain how he had been thinking all day how exactly you give a drum lesson to a 2 and half year old that has the mind of an 11 year old. i sensed that he might be feeling some pressure so i said, 'ben, there is no pressure. we have no expectations, we're just glad you are here.'

isaiah quickly chimed in:

'yeah ben, the pressure is all on the drumsticks!'

why?

so the three little word has come to our house and it's here to stay i'm afraid. i was thinking it might hold off it's arrival until 3 years old, that's the age i had heard it usually comes.

so this is how our day goes:
'isaiah, please don't pick your nose.' wait for it.... 'why?'
'isaiah, please don't hit your sister.....' 'why?'
'isaiah, we're going to go now.....' 'why?'

even as i sit here typing he's saying, 'why mama? why mama? why?'

it showed up a couple days ago and i thought, 'oh that's just a one time thing.' not so.

my response should be to desire to explain every detail of this world to my son. to take the time to open up his world to all that he's inquiring about. but most times i hear myself in the hustle of the day saying those dreaded words i said i would never repeat....'because i said so.'

i know there are times he should just say, 'okay mommy.' other times i should give an explanation. oh, parenting is ever changing. the new challenge before me:

why.

bethany vineyard

for my parent's birthdays (in july) we bought tickets to a summer concert a local vineyard. bring your own food, buy wine there...absolutely breath taking view. the vineyard is 15 minutes from our house. we got babysitters for all the kids and had an adult night out. can you believe it's the first time that the 8 of us have been out only as adults?

it was a fantastic night and we decided that we would make it a tradition to do every year. at intermission we walked around the pond through the vineyard, taking our time, talking and watching as the sun set.

this was the view from where we were sitting for the concert. amazing.

a big day for our girl

she graduated to a ducky bath tub. no more sink tub. she loved splashing and playing with toys. she was so wrinkly after she got out because she had played so long.

have you read about the new studies that have come out about t.v. watching and babies? they say for every hour they watch of t.v. a day, they speak 6 less words.... grandma and grandpa aren't sure what to think about all the new studies we tell them about. so yesterday (to mock me i think) grandpa said, as alaythia was enthralled with isaiah playing the drums, that for every minute alaythia spends watching him play that's one rocker she'll fall in love with. ha ha.

her first tooth! can you see it? a tiny white line on the right side. my baby is growing up!

this was just to cute to pass up.

say what??! wednesday

i missed 'say what??! wednesday' because i was sick. so here you go.

isaiah has been on the path of potty training for some time. #1 came very easily, #2 was a bit harder. hours of crying and pleading while sitting on the potty. for some reason he just didn't want to do it. i'm happy to say it's not an issue anymore. in fact, on tuesday, for the first time, he told me had to go #2. i about fell over.

so i sat him on the potty and he did his thing. after he got off he said, 'i can't wait to tell daddy i went big poo poo. he's gonna be jealous!'

that he will isaiah, that he will.

10 minutes of fun

maybe it's that i've been on the couch for two days. maybe it's because it's just who i am and i knew one day it would come out.

deep in me there is a great desire to scare. i LOVE to scare people. and there is nothing that makes me laugh more than to watch someone get scared. i have held off with isaiah for obvious reasons. i'm his mother, if i made it a habit of scaring him he would be seriously messed up.

but like i said, maybe it's the fact that i've been laying horizontal on the couch for two days sicker than a dog and i have all this pent up energy.

i started to feel better tonight, i have like 10 minute spurts of feeling good and then i'm laid out again. so as isaiah walked past me i roared and grabbed for him. his little body shook, laughed and said, 'doe, doe, don't do that mommy.'

i was sitting on the floor with alaythia and as he walked by again i grabbed him and tickled him. the next time he had to walk past me, he went all the way around the house to avoid me.

matt called for him and i told him i wouldn't touch him if he came by, debating in my mind if i would or not. matt could see it in my eyes having been a victim of my double speak before. he looked and me with a serious stare and said, 'don't touch him.' he walked by and i resisted.

the boys went upstairs to get ready for bed. the bathroom door was closed, teeth brushing going on behind it....i couldn't resist. i flung the door open and roared again. they both shook this time and then laughed hysterically. matt rolled his eyes and isaiah said, 'doe, doe, don't do that mommy.' (with a grin)

i sat nursing alaythia in the rocker and isaiah walked very slowly into the bedroom, 'please don't scare me anymore mama.' being expertly coached by matt. 'okay' i said, my head pounding already from my more than 10 minutes of fun.

in a nutshell

i've realized that since i've started this, i'm coming in contact with a lot of people who might not know the over all look at our family. i have been giving you my thoughts daily, but here's what we're doing and what we hope to be doing in the near future.

matt just finished his ThM at western seminary. he now has 2 masters degrees and we can go on to PhD work. our hope is to start this a year from now. for now matt is an adjunct professor at corban college in salem, oregon (formerly western baptist). he teaches two classes of bible study methods. he has about 70 students and is loving teaching.

teaching these classes were our priority and a great opportunity, so he looked for other work that would allow him to do this. it's hard to find work that allows for middle of the day tuesday and thursday to be taken off. but he found a job where he can set the schedule. he's working part time at wells fargo as a collector. yes, don't get behind on your credit card payments or matt might come after you. :)

he spends what other time he has grading papers, and working on applications to three different PhD programs. this obviously isn't your fill in the blank application, they take a lot of work. he's applying to wheaton, duke and southern seminary. i would say our desire of where we want to go is in that order.....

my parents have been gracious enough to allow us to continue to live with them...after all, we have the kids. :)

i stay home with isaiah and alaythia but recently started a business as a speaker's bureau. i manage speaking engagements, schedules and all that goes along with that. i am currently working for Robin Jones Gunn (www.robingunn.com) and i'm LOVING it.

that's where we are and what we're doing in a nutshell. just thought i'd get that out there.

my not-so-little brother

i went to albany yesterday and hung out with my little brother. there's nothing really "little" about him anymore. he's a grown man. has a wife, is a pastor, and even has kids.

adam and emily have recently embarked on foster parenting. they've had 2 children for a little over a month. and 8 year old and 5 year old. you could say they were thrown into it.

but still, on adam's day off, he took time to hang out with me and my children. (em was in and out, but had to work.) after lunch and some site seeing (yes in albany) we went to a park. isaiah and adam immediately went to the basketball court and were shooting and kicking balls. after a while isaiah was running through the grass and i watched as adam ran from one end of the court to the other shooting lay-ups. i'm still amazed sometimes that's adam. the man's body i see is adam.

at one point we were all on the swings. isaiah was laying on his tummy rubbing his feet in the bark. alaythia was on my lap flapping her arms as the wind blew in her face. and there was adam, in the middle.

i love to watch the men in my life let go and have fun. (like watching matt tube behind his uncle's boat on the columbia.) adam got on the swing and immediately started pumping his legs. 'let's see if i can get my head over the bar'. he reaches and strains, pumps and within seconds his head is above the top bar of the swing.

i laugh and shake my head....secretly happy to see him doing it. we talk about 'launching' off, but then our adult logic takes over and we think better of it.

as we both slowed down adam said, 'how did we get here?' i'll admit i did pretend to not get it at first. i wanted to hear what he was thinking. i think he was shocked at the contrast. swinging with your sister, which feels so normal, but then her kids are there...and yours will be home after school. 'when did we become become adults? with children none the less!' i'll admit i'm still getting used to my little brother having kids.

but my little brother is once again amazing me. he's doing a fantastic job, working hard and loving his wife and kids incredibly well. and i was privileged to get to witness it first hand yesterday.

we may not be swinging much together these days, but we are building a new layer of memories. like last night when we fixed dinner for all the kids......and then all ate together. spills, discipline and all.

alaythia grace's dedication

alaythia was dedicated today at imago dei community. isaiah went on the stage with us as he will play a role in her life of (Lord willing) loving Jesus.

matt talked about her name and quoted john 1:14, "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth." that our hope was that she would come to know and continue to be wooed to the one who is grace and truth. and that as she does know him, that she will reflect him as well.

he talked of the importance of family, who was there and many that could not be there, to aid in this process. and our thankfulness to, and belief that we need, imago dei to also show her this one of truth and grace.

we then went and stood down off the stage and those family members, our home community and friends came and put their hands on us and prayed.

our dear alaythia grace, you have been and will continue to be prayed for. may you come to know our great Messiah and King. may you love him deeply walking in sweet relationship with him forever. we love you so much.

could it be?

during a trip this summer i was faced with the reality that matt and i aren't in the newlywed stage of love. might seem like i should know that since we've been married for 6 years, but it was a huge revelation none the less.

we were with a couple that isn't married yet, but on the verge of engagement. nothing else in the world could keep them from being totally enthralled with each other. deep looks...touching at every moment. put in proximity to them i realized how far from that matt and i are.

we have other things....two kids for example. between diapers and feeding, books and games, we're lucky if we get two sentences in uninterrupted. sure they are a product of our love...but oh to have enough energy to be totally enthralled.

one night when we fell into bed i started to lament to matt how we don't have that 'infatuation love' any more. he didn't seem as concerned as i was. he said we have a 'mature' love.

oh great. mature love, whatever that is. i think i rather prefer infatuation.

(for those laughing hysterically at my 6 year mature love....yes, i know. but it's all relative right?)

so yesterday we went to the park with some new friends. we've gotten together several times, but we're still in the newsy part of getting to know each other. i asked her how long she had been married, how they met. then it was my turn. 'we got reacquainted in college, went to meals together once a week. he was into me, but we didn't start dating until half way through our junior year.' she asked what changed in my mind when we were juniors. 'he was in a singing group preaching in churches, he led a missions trip to the phillippines, i left our lunches encouraged in the Lord, he just seemed more confident.'

as i was telling about my early reservations and revelations about matt, there was isaiah standing not 3 feet from me. his brown long, sweaty hair, part standing on end, part matted to his forehead from running. his big brown eyes were half watching me, half watching a little boy play baseball. his chubby sausage fingers, tie-died shirt and camo crocks.....beautiful.

there was matt's son right before me. more amazingly OUR son.

i don't have much time these days to think about the early stages of my relationship with matthew. but yesterday in the midst of explanation i started to doubt that was ever me. that those were ever my thoughts about matt. the father of my children, the man i love so deeply.

i laughed at myself. oh what i felt then and what i feel now. those things i thought, wrestled with, so petty, so insignificant. especially in light of all that life is now. in light of who matthew is, in light of our children.....

could it be that my love has matured?

Say What??! Wednesday

so each wednesday i hope to give you a little look into the wacky things my kids say. and since alaythia isn't talking yet, it will all be isaiah.

little brains soak everything in. in the midst of potty training and deepening questions, we explained the difference between men and women. what men have, what women don't. isaiah seemed fascinated at the new reality.... 'does so-and-so have one?' 'yes....' 'does so-and-so have one?' 'yes....'

one sunday at church, matt took isaiah into the men's restroom to change his diaper. somewhere in the process grandpa luke came in. after isaiah was done getting his diaper changed he got down and walked over to grandpa. he stopped, looked and then blurted out loudly for the whole restroom to hear, "grandpa has a p****! hurray!!!!"

matt laughed and grandpa just smiled and said, 'and that's a good thing.'

the highest form of torture....

...is your little sister getting a new toy and you not getting to play with it first. alaythia doesn't have many new toys. don't get me wrong, she has PLENTY of toys, they've just been well loved already by isaiah. so today when we went to target to return a toy that was given to her, (of which we already had) we got to look for something new for her to take home.

she loves her new farm...and isaiah does too. but i stuck to my guns and had him wait while she christened it. the first thing out of his mouth when he woke up from his nap was, 'can i play with alaythia's farm?'

greatest gifts

when i was pregnant with alaythia a good friend told me that i was giving a huge gift to isaiah....a sibling. i believed what she said, but like most things in life, didn't really understand what she was saying until i experienced it. their love for each other is overwhelming at times.

i love the way alaythia looks at isaiah. even if he's just sitting there eating dinner, she is enthralled. she cocks her little head, with a slight smile, sits quietly and admires him. sure there are other more overt moments of delight. like when we're dancing and she's giggling as we all move to the music, or in the morning when we're snuggling in bed and she squeals and flaps her arms as he gets close to kiss her.



it seems isaiah can't get close enough to her. he's constantly in her face kissing, talking, blessing her. i try to tell him to back up, but it's like he wants to take her all in and just can't figure out how to do it, so he gets as close as he can. and the laughter is contagious. there's nothing isaiah likes to do more (well maybe play drums) than make alaythia laugh and as she begins to laugh he laughs at her laughing...the decibel level rising by the moment. my friend was right, the gift of relationship, of a brother and sister, one of the greatest gifts to be given. and i love watching it unfold.

out of the dark ages

so here i sit, so intimdated...blogging....so intimate, so real. will i write down all my thoughts for everyone to see? or will it be something that records the events of my days? i guess we'll wait to see. will you stick around to find out?