Monday, March 2, 2009

i thought i could pick and choose

it's been mentioned, so i might as well address it. yes, in about a month i will be turning the big three zero. i can't even bring myself to say the word. it's been hard since 28 i'll admit. but there's something about three zero that sends me whirling.

now for those of you older than me, please, before you roll your eyes and laugh, try to take yourself back. how did you feel? i bet it was a bit hard. maybe it's not three zero, maybe it's just not being in your twenties anymore. the twenties were good to me.

here's the thing... i'm starting to see signs of aging. (seriously, withhold the laughter). i have wrinkles around my eyes, i'm starting to use anti-aging cream. i'm finding gray hair. i'm having a hard time sleeping.

see i thought i was going to be able to pick and choose what attributes i wanted from my parents.

my mother, bless her, didn't have a gray hair until she was about 48. my father, started going gray at 20. my mom and i have had the same type of hair my whole life. so i thought surely i would have her hair...not showing gray until my late forties. no. i've even stopped plucking them. there's just too many. i can't keep up. i need to face the fact.

whenever i would go and stay with my grandma, while growing up, i got to sleep in her bed with her. i didn't like going to the back of the house at night, i was a bit scared, but i did get a t.v. and comfort of knowing she would be coming soon. one down side was that starting about 3 or 4am (if memory serves me correctly) talk radio would be turned on. and she would lay there for hours, waiting for everyone else to wake up, listening to the news. i never understood why she did this...it was just grandma. my father and most of his 4 siblings, now say, they have a hard time sleeping. getting up early, not falling alseep. and now that i'm hitting the big three zero, i'm finding that's true of me too. i thought, again, i'd have my mother's skill of sleeping anytime, anywhere, for any length of time.

the hard facts, i don't get to pick and choose.

the upside...my husband scored big with a big three zero celebration. more on that to come.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thirty, really you're asking how it felt at thirty. "That ain't nothin' for a stepper, he just step right over it".

Dad

julie martin said...

i've heard some rumors about the big celebration, and all i can say is, it will be well worth turning thirty for.

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I refuse to roll my eyes - my kids do that far too often and it's rude - but 30 is a good thing.

My thirties have been sweeter, the best years yet. Wrinkles and all.

So I hope you can put those worries aside. I trust the best is yet to come.

tommysmommy said...

I feel your pain!! I guess we just have to embrass it... (i say that as I roll my eyes and dread giving up the 20's!!!)

Anonymous said...

30? are you sure? how can that be? because what is true for you, is true for me.

in denial too,
mom

Heidi said...

My Birthday buddy! My big 30 follows a few weeks after yours! I too have been feeling lots of different things. It's a big transistion!! I've been so used to being the "young one" everwhere...it's just strange!! Really weird when your kids teachers or your Dr's are the same age as you or even younger!!! We will go through it together and hopefully come out the other side OK! ;0)

Todd and Noelle said...

i can identify! i remind myself that the wrinkles starting to show are reflections of the blessings in my life...i've had lots to smile about, my fine lines are showing! :D but yeah, it's a little weird to be close to leaving the 20's forever!

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

Hey Natalie,
I'm a late poster, but I wanted you to know I can totally identify with you here. I've got veiny legs. ;0) Which I think may be worse than gray hairs, because you can't just dye them.

BUT, one thing that helps is to remind myself: "Hooray! I'm growing old with Aaron!" It's fun to think of growing old with your husband, so that helps make growing old fun.

Love,
Amy