december pictures

here's what we've been up to. more to come later i'm sure. just click here.

we elfed ourselves

you have to check it out, i promise it will be worth your time.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1569731738

Say What?! Wednesday

matt's brother andrew is a drummer, and really might be the reason that isaiah loves the drums the way he does. they have had a special connection from the beginning. andrew plays the drums at the church he attends...it's a church of 9,000 people. lincoln brewster is the worship pastor and so often andrew plays with him. going to church at bayside is a rock concert for isaiah.

bayside has planted several other churches over the years. every other year the churches rent out arco arena and get together for one huge worship service. this year there was about 17,000 people in attendance and andrew got to play for the event. papa and gg filmed the event and then put it on dvd for isaiah to have. can you guess what movie isaiah always wants to watch?

one morning he asked for the 'uncle andrew movie' and so we put it in. grandma was in the room and isaiah said, 'grandma, did you know my uncle is playing the drums?' 'yes,' she replied.

we started to watch the fog, the lights, the huge choir just to the left of andrew. after a few minutes isaiah pointed to the choir and said, 'grandma, did you know those are all my uncle's girlfriends?'

needless to say we all laughed hysterically. i guess isaiah's even got the rock star/girlfriend thing down too.

blaze of glory

so it's been a few days. any guesses why? yes, we've all gone down. little alaythia started it, isaiah continued it, mommy fell, ashley fell and this morning we woke up to find grandma sick in bed, home from work. the adult men in the family seem to be holding strong. partly due to the fact that grandpa has been in alaska for 8 days...and matt, well he's just superman. at least so far. this seems to be extremely contagious so we'll see how he does.

i thought mommy's were supposed to be the strong ones. the kids can get sick but somehow mommy stays well....i guess i haven't learned that part yet.

a little fun

grandma took isaiah out for some fun yesterday since we were home being sickies. this is what they brought home!

perspective

i went to a meeting with my cousin ashley last night. i got home late, but was amped. not like a mother of 2 late at night. i heard my mom still stirring so i went upstairs to debrief the day and it eventually led to gearing up for the next. all the things we both had to do...christmas is fast approaching and time is running out.

i'm not sure what got into us, but all of the sudden at midnight, we were downstairs eating cereal together continuing our random burst of energy. when we ran out of steam i went to bed but something in me was telling me to go check on the kids. i got up and walked into their room to find sweet little alaythia, head popped up and resting on the side of the crib.

i walked over to her, happy to see her face, cause i had missed it in the few hours i had been gone. but when i got over there i saw that she was sick, very sick, and covered in her sickness. i stripped her as fast as i could and ran to the bathroom where she could continue to get the bug out. when she was done i disintegrated into tears as the picture replayed in my head of my content sweet baby girl, quietly laying in her throw up.

she continued through the night and into this morning. funny how all my really 'important' things to do for christmas quickly became so trite. a good reminder to me of what really is important.

(she's doing better this afternoon, we'll wait and see.)

no baby left

as near as i can tell there is no trace of baby left in isaiah. as of last night he's not wearing diapers at all. he's been potty trained for a while, but still wearing diapers to bed. i was hesitant to pull the trigger...not wanting to deal with a wet bed. but he did it, just fine.

not wearing diapers to bed, and getting the toothpaste that you have to spit out, not swallow, were the last things. three months shy of 3 he does everything i do. to my shock he even asks me to leave the restroom when he's using it....do you realize i've been wiping your butt everyday for almost three years? oh well, i guess you do need privacy now.... my 'baby' is no more.

growing up, becoming more and more independant of me...it's been happening since he was born, just feels different today for some reason.

(as i'm typing he just picked up the phone and said my cell phone number.....pretending to give the car shop my number because we were 'bonked'. can you tell what i've been dealing with?)

Say What?! Wednesday

when grandma comes home we all love to hear her stories of the O.R. that day. we sit and listen, isaiah too. most the time he loves to bring back old stories from previous days like, 'grandma, did that guys nose get fixed?' and 'did that doctor say NO! again?'

so last week grandma walked in the door and isaiah promptly asked her if she had done any surgeries that day. she said, 'yes i did a vitrectomy. can you say vitrectomy?'

'no......sounds like truck-to-me!'

tidbits of life

life has been crazy of late. even now i have runny noses and poopy diapers waiting for me. but here's a few things of interest in the last few days.

--yesterday after much arguing, isaiah finally finished all of his lunch. it wasn't until last night, when i went to straighten the table cloth for dinner that i found oranges buried in there....i guess he didn't eat it all.

--alaythia says ma-ma, kind of. isaiah didn't say mama until he was 16 months old. it took me going away for a few days to knock some sense into him. but my sweet girl is saying it already.

--matt helping me take some cold medicine late one night. he said, 'don't worry they are chewable. just make sure you have a drink ready for afterward.' i check the label before i partook and sure enough it said, 'do not chew, let disolve in your mouth.' and it also threw in 'do not take a drink for 15 minutes before or after you take.' that is THE LAST time i take advice from matt on how to take drugs! through our laughter he said, 'you're going to blog about this aren't you!' sending me into more hysterical laughter.

--we set up the tent, t.p. and tunnels. alaythia crawled through first off. i remember isaiah being tentative for a while, waiting to go through the tunnels. alaythia had no hesitation. matt says they will be like him and laura. laura always did everything first and he only did things after seeing his little sister have no fear.

--we went in to the kids room before we went to bed last night. we found isaiah upside down...feet under his pillow at the head of the bed. and we found alaythia at the bottom of her crib, feet and one hand hanging off the side. they had a lot of fun together before falling asleep.

happy birthday adam

today adam turns 25. half way to 30. i remember that being a hard birthday for me. for most people it will be hard to believe that adam is ONLY 25. he's always been so mature. here are a few things and reasons why I LOVE MY BROTHER.

he is a compassionate, strong, articulate man. an amazing blend of truth and grace. wise beyond his years. he has an amazing voice and musical talent. he uses it to re-write old hymns, play guitar, teach others and lead people to the throne every sunday. he is a faithful friend, not afraid of the hard times, rejoicing in the good. he is long suffering and diligent - true to his word.

i do not say it flippantly -- am proud to be connected with adam. i'm proud to be his sister.

the pit of despair

i'm sure you've seen 'the princess bride'. the pit of despair is where wesley is taken with the man that has the double chin that shakes when he talks.... extremely disturbing for a young girl.

anyway, the pit of despair is what i've come to call the time from when i lay down in bed, until i drift off to sleep. this time should be one where i can finally relax, mull over the day, talk with matt without interruption. and that's what it is. but once i relax and i have space to think about the day...that's when i start the downward spiral into the pit.

'i shouldn't have said that to isaiah.' 'i should have done this when he asked.' 'i didn't look at alaythia's face enough today, tomorrow she'll be bigger.' 'the house is such a mess, i can never get caught up.' 'i suck at this thing called motherhood.' 'i suck even more as a home maker.'

and so it goes until i fall asleep. sometimes i say things out loud, so to take them out of the darkness and try to have matt speak light into it. (cause i know i'm tired, and trying to solve the world's problems, or even my own problems, that late at night is not a good idea.) and he does speak light, but the pit often times has already sucked me down so far that the lights is just a faint speckle.

my own mother has often said that she did the same thing as a young mother. and now, she matter-of-factly looks me in the eye and says, 'you know that does no good.' but still, i go there, just about every night.

so many of my other mom-friends, that are in the throws of raising young kids, feel the same way. we long to be away, to have some time to ourselves, we get away and then feel guilty about it. we choose to stay home and give our lives to our children, but still we're not doing enough. how do we, how do i, let the gospel reach into the pit and redeem this? how do i live the gospel despite this thick guilt that seems to consume me? how can i stop the tape that runs in my head and replace it with truth?

i obviously don't have it totally figured out. but for today what i want is grace. over and over again i must remind myself -- grace. today i want to cling to it. the fact that apart my Savior i'm bound for the pit....in more ways than one.

not my words

"When huge pain comes into your life—like divorce, or the loss of a precious family member, or the dream of wholeness shattered—it is good to have a few things settled with God ahead of time. The reason for this is not because it makes grieving easy, but because it gives focus and boundaries for the pain.

Being confident in God does not make the pain less deep, but less broad. If some things are settled with God, there are boundaries around the field of pain. In fact, by being focused and bounded, the pain of loss may go deeper—as a river with banks runs deeper than a flood plain. But with God in his firm and proper place, the pain need not spread out into the endless spaces of ultimate meaning. This is a great blessing, though at the time it may simply feel no more tender than a brick wall. But what a precious wall it is!"

...you can read John Piper's whole article here.

(HT: Todd Bolen)

random assortment

i'm sure you've heard that it's been the biggest storm in 80 years up here the last few days.

on monday, when the storm was at it worst we found ourselves together in a warm home...with random people along. it was a lot of fun trying to 'brave' the storm. cooking, baking and being together. here in vancouver we're fine, so maybe that's where the romanticism comes from. i know there are those who don't feel that way about the storm.

i had made plans for our friend bev to come over on monday. every so often she takes a day off work to come be with us. some friend, i know. she's one of those friends where you're baffled that you've only known them for 2 years....seems like she's always been in our life.

on sunday my cousin ashley came to stay with us while she's in between houses. it's been so great to get to spend time with her and get reacquainted. i'm sorry to say that it's been many years since i've even seen her.

jake heard that ashley was around and was in the portland area cutting down free christmas trees for everyone he knows. so he decided to come and hang out. but one exit from our house his flatbed truck that was carrying 20 christmas trees broke down. he and his friend chris had spent the morning cutting down christmas trees. yes, in the biggest storm in 80 years. in jake's words, it was the wettest he's ever been in his life. they were wet, cold and broken down on the side of the road.

once everyone was dry, fed and at the house it was quite fun. bev, ashley, jake, chris, mom, dad, isaiah, alaythia, matt and me. a random assortment of people together on a blustery day. soup, mom's famous cornbread and chocolate chips cookies....sometimes the severe weather can create a cool memory...like it did on monday.

Say What!?! Wednesday

i pulled the family together on friday afternoon to go get a christmas tree. it doesn't feel like christmas until the christmas tree is up. so we all piled in grandpa's car. even moses came along in his crate in the trailer. we went down the street to a u-cut farm. we were bundled and walking through the trees. grandpa would ask isaiah, 'how is this one?' 'no, not that one.' he would say. we walked for quite some time and not one tree was working for isaiah. finally i said, 'isaiah what kind of tree are you looking for?' he said, 'we need to get one with lights!'

report card time

alaythia turned 9 months old this week. so i took her in for her check up. for a stay at home mom a check up feels a little like a report card. are they developing properly, are they healthy, are they growing? what you should be expecting the next few months as you try to imagine life with a crawler, walker and talker.

so i walk into the appointment with alaythia clean, fresh, fed, with her best face on. she's a healthy, growing, perfect girl. i'm feeling pretty good about myself thank you. at the end of the appointment the doctor throws something out, almost as a tack on. an 'oh yeah'.

'alaythia's growth chart shows that she hasn't gained much weight in the past few months. sometimes when you have a toddler you think your 2nd is eating enough when in fact, they might not be. i would encourage you to watch carefully how much alaythia is eating, you might be surprised at how much she can eat.'

wait...is she telling me i'm not feeding my kid enough? is she really saying that i could be keeping her hungry? do you know me? do you know the family i come from? we are professional eaters. you could accuse me of a lot of things, but not feeding my kids enough? no way.

i come home determined to see if in fact she can eat more.... i try and try at lunch time. not interested. see, i'm doing okay. she's not hungry. i try to convince myself. dinner rolls around, new tactic, i try more fingery foods. and sure enough alaythia ate about 3 times the amount i usually give her. i sat there in turmoil. glad that she was enjoying and eating to her hearts content. sad that she might have been hungry these past few months. and being the sweet little girl she is, never complained.

well my dear daughter, it's confirmed. welcome to the family that loves to eat. i'm afraid you're one of us.

deadline #2

so for one of the school's matt is applying to, he has to make a proposal of what he would do his dissertation on. no small decision. this is what he will give his life to for the next several years. it's not something that you just pick randomly. as you may or may not know, a dissertation has to be on something unexplored. or if explored, not to the fullest extent. when you're dealing with the Bible, it would seem the options would start to get fewer and fewer. but matt did find a topic that 1 - interests him, 2- interests the guy he would be studying under and 3 - hasn't been explored - fully.

so with much trepidation he send it off to the professor he would be sitting under if accepted to this particular school. even though he's in the application process the school wants the prof to sign off on it. we fully expected this process to go back and forth. but much to our surprise we got an email just hours after sending the proposal. it is accepted. done deal. moving on.

i can't tell you the weight that was immediately lifted.

we're quickly running out of deadlines....#2 done. deadline #3 is to turn the applications in. and that should be done in a few weeks. people, we're moving forward. i still can hardly believe it.

stuff of interest

so here's some new cool stuff i want to share with you....

first is this website, www.franklinguitars.com

this is rosemary's dad -- who builds guitars in his shop at their house. they were up to be with jake and rose for thanksgiving and one of the times i popped in on them ken was showing them his new website. amazing stuff. jake and rose have 2 of his guitars...ken calls one of them 'the dog'. supposedly it's not a very good one...yet it looks better than any guitar i've ever seen. check it out. we think we're cool to be connected to him in a round-about way.

second is a new blogger. julie martin. where the name isaiah martin godshall comes from. i won't go on and on about how i feel about her, for fear of totally freaking her out as a new blogger. but if you've got the time, i'd say it would be well worth your time to check out her thoughts.

Say What?! Wednesday

on monday matt was heading out the door to go study at powell's. isaiah and i were sitting at the table playing play doh. we exchanged details of what the day was going to look like. at the end of the conversation matt said, 'have a fun afternoon.' before i could say anything isaiah said, 'thanks, we will.' and as matt turned to go he added, 'see ya later babe!'

matt and i laughed and laughed. it's amazing what they pick up from you. not only your words but your intonations as well. scary if i'm honest.

so i hear

she's doing it. she's crawling. it must be from watching her cousin do it. she's doing it just like him. one arm tucked under her body, the other up and moving.....at least that's what i hear.

i didn't actually see it last night because i ran up the stairs to get the video camera. i stood there taping, waiting for her to do it, only to have the battery flash at me. i put the camera down and ran back up the stairs to get the power cord.

by the time i was ready, she was done, wanting to get up.

i tried to explain to matt that i'm not supposed to miss things like that, being a stay-at-home mom, it's my job to be there for her firsts...i'll try to get over it.

my life has changed once again.

happy thanksgiving...

we went up to tadmor with the godshall side of the family.

some of my favorite moments:

isaiah finally getting to wrestle his cousin.

watching the babies lay head to head and explore each other's face.

alaythia on daddy in her new backpack.

alaythia and papa snuggle on a walk through the woods.
for more pictures of our november click here.

becoming godshall

it's something that my kids will never do, 'become' a godshall. they were born godshall. but me, about six and a half years ago, i 'became' godshall. and now there is another woman, of this generation, embarking on this journey. hallie now begins her journey of becoming godshall.

here's just a little about what i've learned in my journey:

1 - say your last name, then spell it. no one will ever guess right.

2 - if you have to give up the name you've always had, it's a good one to do it for.

3 - learn where it came from, everyone will ask.

4 - get the pronunciation right. not god-shawl, not god-shell, not good shall. it's god-shall. and after all, and i quote, 'you will be teaching (my) kids how to say their name, so you better say it right yourself.'

5 - as a godshall you inherit a long legacy of many generations of christ followers. this was new for me...i love it.

6 - when we gather, family pictures will take first priority. and no, you can never have to many.

in the spirit of thankfulness

i've written two posts and they are sitting as drafts. a little gun-shy? maybe. timing? for sure.

in the spirit of thankfulness here are a few things i am thankful for in no special order:

1 - alaythia grace's face. you need a reality check? you need to forget the worries of the day? take one look my friend. you'll be changed.
2 - my mini van. say what you will about mini van's. they're made for mom's and they make your life easy. i've been without mine for a week, just got it back. my love is renewed.
3 - google. answers your questions, provides email, organizes your life with the calendar, promotes creativity in blogger, keeps you connected with reader. brilliant.
4 - t.v. shows on internet. i may not be able to afford tivo, but who needs it when you can watch every episode online?
5 - belly laughs. during snuggle time this morning alaythia was laughing so hard grandpa heard it through the wall.
6 - home community. our annual thanksgiving feast is tomorrow. over 40 people, many of whom i haven't seen i a while, will be here. we will toast to the king.

my life in piles

i went to our storage unit recently to drop off all the infant stuff we're no longer using. i finally admitted to myself today that i hate going to our storage unit. it's probably not for the reasons you're thinking...dirty, out of the way, cold. no, it's for another reason.

i hate going and seeing all my stuff in boxes, in piles, with dust piled on top.

i love my parents house. it's big, it's beautiful. we have everything and more we could ever want or need. we're living the high life here. there's many things we have here that we will never have when we live on our own. their appliances are upgraded, their furniture is big and comfortable. the carpet is clean, the bathrooms are a plenty...the cable we've come very accustomed to. but when i go to the storage unit i remember that i'm in transition, the house i live in really isn't mine, although it feels like it most of the time. i remember what my house looks like, even in piles of boxes.

if i had a day when i was caught up on my life and my kids were taken care of...i would go to the storage unit. i would open every box and remember. i would throw away stuff that i don't want any more, because my taste has changed in 2 years, and i would repack other stuff that i once thought wasn't that important, but now cherish.

Say What?! Wednesday

isaiah's favorite game right now is kerplunk. after all the marbles have fallen he counts each marble to see who the winner is. after this particular game instead of counting his marbles, he was putting each marble into every cup he could find around the room. i said, 'count your marbles isaiah, come on!' he said, 'don't say that, i am coming on!'

'isaiah, mommy is ......'

a lot of times, growing up, we would have a devotion before school. a nugget of truth to take with us into the day. most of the time i was so stressed out about being late to school that i didn't really listen to what it was my dad was trying to impart. but there is one devotion that i remember to this day.

it was a devotion about jellyfish, dolphins and sharks. the gist was jellyfish get pushed around, even eaten. sharks are bullies and predators. dolphins are neither of these. they actually ram into sharks with their noses, protecting themselves and sometimes others from predators. don't be a shark or jellyfish, be a dolphin. simple enough. out of all the morning devotions don't ask me why that one stands out. but it does.

-----

fast forward many years, or rewind two from the present. matt and i are sitting with baby isaiah in front of the t.v. one evening. what ever we were watching prompted me to impart my wisdom about dolphins and sharks to matt. he thought i was blowing smoke. i knew i was right and so i got fired up real quick, telling him all about the devotional i heard when i was young. i challenged him to call my brothers, call my dad. dolphins do ram sharks and sharks flee. in a moment of - no doubt - frustration matt turned to baby isaiah and said in a severely sarcastic tone, 'isaiah...mommy's a marine biologist!'

that story has been told a number of times -- making it a legend of recent. rosemary, my sister-in-law, particularly loves the 'mommy is a marine biologist' story. every once in a while she'll bring it up out of no where, laughing the entire time. i think she loves it so much, partly because she doesn't believe the facts either, and because she loves that reserved, polite matt was sarcastic and put me in my place.

-----

a couple days ago while driving in the car with the kids isaiah said, 'look mommy! there is the sun!' i quickly said, 'don't look at it!' he loves to point out and look at the moon. i didn't want him to do the same with the sun.

'why?'
'well, because it will burn your eyes.'
'why?'
'it's hot.'
'why?'

in an effort to bring God into every why question i said, 'well, God made it that way.'

'why?'
'he made the sun to be hot so that it would warm the earth.'
'why did God say that?'
'well, he knew that was best for us.'

and that was the end of the conversation. a couple days later when we all were in the car isaiah said to matt, 'daddy, did you know that God said not to look at the sun because it will burn your eyes!'

really isaiah? really? that's what you got out of our conversation and that's what you're going to tell your theologian dad??!!

matt looks to me in question. i try to justify and explain. matt chuckles and makes some remark about my theology under his breath. i know i'm out of my league. in an effort to even the playing ground i make some remark about taking care of his children all day....

matt slowly turns around, looks at isaiah and says, 'isaiah, mommy is a geologist.'

what's wrong? nothing.

i actually had a friend pick up the phone and call me today. 'i was calling to see if you were sick, or dead to the world! it's been 4 days since you've posted on your blog!!!' i laughed hysterically. that's what it's come to now? 'i've been checking your blog twice a day! what's wrong?!'

nothing. nothing is wrong. it was all strategic.

i didn't want to post anything new so that every time you opened up the blog you would see that matt was taking the GRE today and you would remember to pray.

manipulative? maybe.
worth it? definitely.

matt did great on his test, and we're eating pizza and watching monday night football in celebration.

thanks for putting up with the delay. i promise to do my best not to keep you waiting another 4 whole days.

deadline #1

i've been thinking about moving a lot lately. i couldn't figure out why all of the sudden i was thinking about it so much. after all, we most likely won't be going anywhere until august. then it hit me...our first deadline in the PhD application process is close at hand.

until now it's all be out there -- someday. but on monday matt takes the GRE and in 'the plan' that has always been the first deadline to meet. then comes applications due, interviews, acceptance and moving.

the romanticism of moving for PhD work is quickly being sucked away. the realities of a new home, a new neighborhood, a new culture....it's all becoming much more real. for example, at the park a few days ago i met a woman who was new to vancouver...only 3 months in. i wondered if that would be me soon, trying to make friends at the park. i felt an extra measure of compassion for her and tried to ease the transition for this stranger.

but for now, i'll focus on monday and the test matt will take. it could determine a lot of where we will go. if you feel so inclined, i would covet your prayers.

Say What??! Wednesday

on saturday we went down to the pearl district to walk around. it was a beautiful sunny day. we walked for blocks and blocks. toward the end of our walk i wanted to occupy isaiah a bit. so not really thinking of the ramifications i said, 'step on a crack and you'll break your mother's back.' 'huh?' he said. in a slower cadence, 'step on a crack and you'll break your mother's back.'

isaiah stopped walking, frozen. he looked down at his feet and at all the squares that were crisscrossed before him. he looked up at me frantic and raised his hands and pleaded, 'carry me mommy!'


(i felt terrible! but after some explanation he was down holding my hand chanting the saying and hopping from square to square.)

had i known

we did it. isaiah and alaythia are sharing a room, the big room. matt and i have isaiah's old room, noah border and all.

was the work and stress worth it? yes.
was the task daunting? yes.
am i glad i did it? you have no idea.

here's just a few things, (after 24 hours), that i've come to love about it:

-i love that i can choose to read in bed if i want.
-i love that once i got in bed last night, matt and i talked for nearly 30
minutes...in a normal tone!
-i love that when i fold the laundry, there's an adult pile and a kid pile. no
mixing.
-i love that my room is all adult. no changing tables, no toys.
-i love that my room is smaller - therefore has the potential to be cleaner.
-i love that their room is big and has room for lots of playing.
-i love the way the kid's room feels at night with the night light on and all their things in there. feels like wendy, michael and john's room from peter pan.
-i love that the bedtime routine is all together now. and with matt and i both singing songs isaiah joins in. i rock alaythia, matt's tickling isaiah's back and we sing to our Messiah...all together. amazing.
-but most of all i LOVED hearing isaiah and alaythia go to sleep today for their nap.

(their heads are facing each other...i shut the door and immediately hear isaiah speak gibberish to alaythia. then her hysterical laugh. over and over and over it goes. do i go in, do i not. it's so cute to hear them in their room having fun on their own...making great memories. but it's time for bed. i open the door, only to find isaiah standing and jumping up and down as he speaks the words that make his sister laugh. i calmly say it's time for bed, then realize i was sorry i did it. and walked out, deciding to let them go as long as they wanted. i wasn't going to put a damper on it. they carried on for a few more minutes and then both went to sleep.)

i love everything about the change. had i known -- i would have done it months ago.

drummer boy...

this video was taken in august at some friend's wedding reception. isaiah was 2 and a half exactly.

first off, we need to give props to josh, peter and ben - amazing musicians that made this really what it is. they were gracious to let isaiah play and made him look good.

don't get me wrong, i am proud. and i'll be the very first to admit that isaiah has a gift. at the moment it was happening matt and i stared at each other in disbelief numerous times. surreal to say the very least. this video is the last few minutes of about a 20 minute set.

without further ado, our little drummer boy.

fabulous

matt and i got away for a date night last night. dinner and a movie. we went and saw 'dan in real life' on recommendation. i didn't seen '40-year-old virgin', and while i'm a huge fan of 'the office', i haven't seen one steve carrell movie. not interested. but 'dan in real life' is fantastic. really fantastic. and i think it's worth going to see.

Meeska Mooska.....

Mickey & Minnie Mouse!!!

if you want to see more pictures of our night you can click here.

Say What??! Wednesday

it had been a long couple of nights and a rough morning. alaythia had just laid down for her morning nap. i sat down on the couch and said, 'oh isaiah, mommy's tired.'


'i'm not tired!' he said.
'i know, i'm tired' i said, 'i'm exhausted.'


he said with exuberance, 'he is exalted!!'


yeah, something like that.

pirate peek-a-boo and a belly laugh

i have four words to start off this post: curse of the blogger.

on to other things.

alaythia grace is now 8 months old. some of her favorite things are.....

**she loves to play pirate peek-a-boo. she places one hand over one eye and waits for you to say it. it's a modified version, but a fun one.
**she thinks that her brother hangs the stars. it doesn't matter what she's doing, or who else is around, the second isaiah is near he has her full attention. that leads me to...
**her new laugh. a deep, long, go-'til-you're-out-of-air-and-your-face-turns-red laugh. isaiah, who has been especially hungry for attention of late, LOVES to make his sister laugh, and she's his captive audience. she laughs and claps, egging him on. it's a great combination for now. oh how i wish you could hear her belly laugh. it makes anything right.
**her favorite song seems to be 'joshua fought the battle of jericho.' she gets much more theological songs sung to her, but whenever this is sung, she especially perks up.
**moses. yes, it has passed to the next child. he comes in a close second to isaiah in terms of attention getters. when moses is present alaythia spends her time adoring him. letting him lick her face, lay on her lap...i'm not sure who enjoys it more, her or moses.

two thirds of a year has passed. hard to believe. needless to say she is a blessing and joy.

in this moment

motherhood is a strange thing. you would think it would be pretty straight forward, pretty standard since it is so common. yet, as i continue on in this endeavor, i'm constantly learning and changing. growing and stretching. realizing that it's a complicated thing.

i grew up hearing the praise of my mother. praise of her sacrifice, her care, her time. she stayed home with us all during our growing up years. i heard of the importance and i heard her choices honored time and time again. it never really occurred to me to be anything different than a stay at home mom. it's what i gave lip service to my entire life. to that goal, to that desire. at the time i would not have told you it was lip service. i would have said it was my greatest desire, it was the highest calling. but it wasn't until a few months ago that what i had given lip service to all my life, and what i was doing, penetrated my heart.


two kids rocked me. the transition, the time, the effort. it was consuming all my thoughts, all my time, energy and emotional reserves. the routine, the monotony, mind numbing at times. i began to resent the life i was leading. i wondered how i had gotten here, baffled at what my life was. how was i going to get out? how could i continue on in this?

i was talking with someone about my struggle. the simplest thing was said, something i had heard a million times before. but it came at a different angle, or i was in the right place to allow it to penetrate from what i knew in my head to what i believed in my heart.

'raising kids, giving your life to your kids, is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.'

giving my life to my kids. and that's what it is. it wasn't them taking it from me, i realized i wanted to give it to them. and it will take all my time, all my energy, all my emotions, my spiritual reserve - my whole life - to raise these kids. it's what my entire life should be about (apart from knowing God). i shouldn't have an abundance of time. that's what my life will be, what it is. being given to two other people. and at that moment i knew there was nothing more i wanted to do. to give my life for my kids. to sacrifice and expend all that i have to grow them to be worshippers of God. to help them achieve all that God intended. giving my life for others...what God has called us all to. and i was happy and ready to do it.

the idea is true. the truth resonates within me. but at the same time, how romantic.

the routine comes back. the daily grind. the discipline, the hurt, the exhaustion. and i forget that what i want is to give my life to my kids. i want some time to myself. i'm tired, i'm at my end. i want just a little quiet time. i forget that it's supposed to take all of what i have and then some. i get selfish, irritated, ticked quite frankly. it's a constant struggle to die to myself. and i don't do it well.

so yesterday i was described by someone as 'being the mother of two beautiful children'. instead of being overjoyed in that, i was offended. i thought to myself 'there's so much more to me. is that really all you think of me? there are so many other things that could define me. so many other accomplishments you could list about me. you really don't value all that i am. i don't want to be defined by that!'

i know......prideful. but if i'm honest, that's what i was thinking. i couldn't shake it. kept mulling it over and over today.

then it hit me. it was the highest compliment i could ever be paid. i give my life to those kids. they are what all my time and energy go into. what i give my life to. yes, there are other things i have done, other things i could do, but none more important than them.

suddenly 'being the mother of two beautiful children' was more than i could have asked for. and God has gently pulled me back to himself, back to reality. and for now my struggle seems easy, the road set before me once again clear. i'm thankful for the reality check, knowing i will fall into selfishness again. but in this moment motherhood doesn't seem so strange. it seems like the most natural, God given act that i can be in involved in. and i'm so grateful.

true amazement

so this morning rosemary is sitting on the couch with isaiah and i'm sitting at the table feeding alaythia. rosemary says, 'so, i heard that isaiah can say his abc's backward.' i just look at her and shrug. 'yeah, your mom told me that yesterday morning she was playing with isaiah and he said the abc's backward.'

i hear what she saying, but think that i must have heard her wrong. 'are you talking about isaiah?' i ask. she says yes and then says again that my mom heard it the day before. i still wasn't computing what she was saying. i've never heard isaiah ever say them backward, i've never talked about saying them backward...i couldn't see how that could be isaiah since we've never even talked about it before. i'm his mother, i know just about everything he's exposed to and what he's learning. so for someone else to tell me what he can do and for me to not know about it....well, it's never happened to me before.

in one last final effort i say, 'are you talking about my son?' rosemary says yes and about that time isaiah walks up. rose asks him to say the abc's backward, and just about that time alaythia starts to whine. i could not hear what he said. rose looks at me with her mouth dropped. i'm assuming he did it. i calmed alaythia down and asked isaiah if he would say it for me. no chance.

i asked periodically through out the day if he would say it for me. he never did. i talked to my mom and yes, he had said them right and then went backward. she was apparently just as shocked to hear it. matt had to work all day, so i thought, maybe matt was teaching him and i just didn't know. i'd have to wait until later in the day to find out if it was him. in the mean time, all the adults in the house today were trying to say the alphabet backward. none of us could do it.

we're at dinner, all of us...evan & lyndsey (cousins), jake & rose, matt, my mom and me. jake asks, 'hey isaiah, can you say the alphabet backward?' 'yes.'

and off he goes.

we all sit there stunned. not only is he saying them backward, but he's singing the tones of the song backward as well. i'm not kidding.

when he's done. we all sit there silent and shocked. finally mom breaks the silence, 'isaiah you are such a smart boy!' we all agree. the praise dies down and then jake says, 'what does this mean?!' he's some kind of child prodigy! what does this mean?!'

the thing is, i'm shocked and i'm not usually shocked with isaiah. don't get me wrong, he does a lot of incredible things, but i can see them coming, or i have a hint that they're there. but this was different. completely out of the blue. not expected and totally other than me. he did it on his own. i was truly amazed.

as i'm understanding for the first time what other's have experienced with isaiah he says, 'yeah and i can say the greek alphabet backward too!' we all freeze. literally. wondering if he'll bust that out too. then he says, 'no i can't, i'd have to see them first.'

changes

first off i'd like to give a shout out to sam and lisa for being my faithful commenters. there have been others of you that have ventured in every once in a while, but i always know they are reading my blog and for that i'm thankful.

it amazes me when i'm talking with someone and they say, 'i read your blog all the time.'

1 - i feel totally loved and appreciative that someone would choose to spend their time that way. time is precious, i know, and so it means a great deal to me.
2 - in reality, the only people i really know read my blog are sam and lisa, cause they leave a comment.

there is also some others of you that say you can't figure out how to login and or get an account. so in the spirit of me-wanting-to-know-you're-there, i've made some changes to allow commenting to be easier. please don't feel obligated, this is just a little way for me to make it maybe a little less intimidating....

when you click on the comment, you can then choose to login with an account, 'other' to put your name and website, or 'anonymous'. i would ask that for my sanity if you pick 'anonymous' that you not be so. please type your name in the comment area so i don't spend wakeless hours at night trying to figure out who you are. (and i realize, for some, that was an invitation).

remember, no obligation and thanks for reading -- comment or no comment.

Say What??! Wednesday

as i'm sure every child does, isaiah is currently learning it's not okay to pick your nose. i tell him, and tell him and tell him. it's not worthy of getting disciplined, but i try to stress how gross it is. anyway, one afternoon i looked up at him and saw him in the midst of the act. i gave him 'the look' to which he quickly responded with....... 'mommy, my nose is TELLING me to pick it!'

nice try dude.

an ancient calling to the new 25th

it's amazing, it seems to get earlier and earlier each year. christmas in the stores has arrived. about a month ago my mom and i were walking through costco, and they had christmas stuff out....playing music. everyone we were running into was talking about it, complaining under their breath. we were ticked at first. irritated to be hearing that in september. but i'll admit, as time went on, we kinda got in the mood. hear the music, see the stuff, they know what they're doing....'i must buy.' 'wouldn't it be nice to be done early with shopping this year' we think to ourselves. we barely get out without buying something.

later that day we were recounting the event to the guys (my dad and matt). my dad mentions that at church we are going to do advent conspiracy again.....i cringe. see, last year rick, our pastor, presented to us the notion that christmas is about more than consumerism. and he challenged us...spend less, give relationally, make a difference in the world. it was simple enough. choose to make your own gifts to give to others. or give them the gift of relationship (ie: invite them over for dinner, or give them a coupon to go do something together) and the money that we didn't spend would be gathered in an offering and then distributed locally and globally. after all, christmas is about Emmanuel, God with us, the ultimate relational gift.

so why the cringe? it was fine for me last year. matt and i didn't exchange gifts and we gave what we would have spent on each other in the offering. but when my dad brought it up this year i immediately thought of isaiah. the memories of christmas morning are some of the best. the anticipation, the gifts. and this will be his first christmas where he really gets it. so i said what i was thinking out loud. 'i'm not doing it this year.' they all stared at me. 'i just want isaiah to have the experience of christmas morning. it's not fair to him. i know it sounds bad to say, but i'm sorry, i just don't want to do it.' and that was the end of the conversation.

so a couple weeks later in church rick brings up advent conspiracy. last year there was 4 other churches that partnered with imago. together we brought in a half a million dollars. some of the things the money went toward was providing meals and supplies for kids in the portland school system. globally it was about building wells. giving people clean water to drink. this year there is over 1000 churches partnering together in advent conspiracy to make a difference in the world this christmas.

they then showed a video of just one of the wells that was built. people who live around a dump. they scavenge the dump everyday for things to eat and things to sell. it is their life. and the water they drink...well, you get the point. they took 9 families from the dump, took them out rurally and are teaching them how to farm, how to make and sell things. and we dug a well for them. the contrast of garbage and clean water. the look of hopelessness and the look of people thriving. the entire time my own words are echoing in my ears...'i just want isaiah to have the experience of christmas morning. it's not fair to him.'

it's not fair for my son not to get an enormous amount of toys? when these kids, isaiah's age, don't even have water? sick. really, really, sick.

needless to say, i'm all in this year. and i'm stoked. relational gifts...i've already started. cause let's face it, if you start 'making' your gift two days before christmas they're gonna suck. (in the words of my pastor). and isaiah will get presents this year, just not a disgusting amount....and he'll get to be a part of something great. he'll learn that christmas is more than presents and what he'll get. it's about putting Christ at the center. showing Christ tangibly to the world.

i used to get so irritated that all the stores now say 'happy holidays' instead of 'merry christmas'. it's about Christ. how dare they. until it was brought to my attention that it's not their story to tell. it's mine. and i want to do things differently.

p.s. if you want to join advent conspiracy or just find out more about it (put more eloquently than i ever will) you can check it out at www.adventconspiracy.com.

an army crawl to bed

isaiah slept in our room until he was 10 months old. well, we were living in a 1 bedroom condo and we converted our walk in closet into a room for him. but he slept about 6 feet from me, so he was in our room. alaythia is currently in our room. but i think that time is coming to an end.

take last night for instance. we've been running a floor fan for white noise to help her sleep. this has worked fabulously during the summer nights but as the nights have gotten colder we have stopped because it just makes the room much too cold.

the floor in our bedroom creaks. every step we take produces these deep pops. so last night, with no fan running we attempted to walk in. i was in before matt, and like usual, every step i took made the noise. i finally reached my side of the bed (closest to the crib) and looked to see where matt was. he was close behind but had grabbed another blanket to throw on her. just as we were about to make the pass off she popped her head up and started looking around. matt and i hit the deck as fast we could. we had to be sure to lay lower than the crib, so our faces and bodies were smashed to the ground. how did i know matt had done the same thing? i could see him through the rocker. we're rolling our eyes and giving darting glances through the slats. we lay still for a few seconds, but i didn't want to look up to see if she went back down because if by some chance she didn't, i'd be face to face with her.

after a few seconds of silence i dare...matt has moved back and can see her and me from his vantage point. i look to him and he mouths, 'get down! get down!' i quickly duck back down.

as i'm laying there with my face planted on the ground i'm writing this blog in my head (i know, i know)....and thinking, this is it, she's gotta start sharing a room with isaiah.

picture update

if you would like to see pictures of our recent trip to the pumpkin patch you can click here.

if you want to see SOME of the pictures from the boy's dream weekend you can click here.

have fun!

a boy's dream....(day 2)

at one point polly said, 'if we didn't have pictures of all this, people wouldn't believe us' and i think she is absolutely right. it's to much to type out line by line, but maybe bulleted, what we did.

• while playing playdoh we lost power. uncle jake came home and started a fire in the wood stove. if you've never been warmed by a wood stove....you get warmed to the bone.
• went down to main camp. uncle jake met us there where isaiah and justin got to raid the camp store. sharks, lollipops and some paraphernalia.
• played hard all morning in the afternoon with tents, t.p.'s and tunnels.
• decided to go on another exploration. walked up the logging road and watched numerous dump trucks dump loads of rocks to build a road. then watched the bulldozer flatten each load. on one side we saw the road being built on the other side of us were all the logging machines moving logs and debris.
• walked down to the lake where we threw rocks, sticks and waded as far as we could without the water covering the boots.
• matt brought a fishing pole and the boys got to try to fish. on justin's second cast he caught his first fish. matt cast but justin reeled it in himself. i think i took 27 pictures. it was pretty fun!
• then we walked up to the shop where isaiah and justin drove the backhoe with uncle jake. picking up trees and moving debris. matt then got in a drove the backhoe...a daddy's dream come true.
• as if that wasn't enough after dinner we headed to the next door neighbors where he had converted his attic into a train station. the most elaborate train set i have ever seen. steam, electric, big, small.... there was even a whistle that they boys got to pull to make a train whistle each time an engine started up.

i'm not sure who was more wiped out, the adults or the boys. it's safe to say that uncle jake and the other's at tadmor went above and beyond to give us a great week. we kept asking justin and isaiah what their favorite thing was and they kept listing each thing. how could you pick just one thing?

a boys dream...(day 1)

...is being at tadmor. we're here with our good friends, polly and justin. they came up from southern california to visit. justin is 4...and we figured, what better place to let two boys visit than at tadmor. we're finding out that God and the men that live at tadmor love to make little boys dreams come true.

our only expectations were to get to fish at the lake and to possibly drive the backhoe with uncle jake. the forecast is rain, rain and more rain. but yesterday turned out to be no rain, and our experiences more than we expected. today is shaping up to be the same.

we started the day yesterday with an exploration. the boys were layered and you really couldn't see much of their skin. as we set off the only rule for the exploration was --if you see a mud puddle you MUST stomp in it. you should have seen their faces. looking at polly and i to see if we were serious. we were.

it took us 20 minutes to go 100 feet. it had rained all night and there were puddles galore. the rain boots worked for awhile, but soon they were splashing higher and in deeper than their little boots. soaking wet they continued to run and re-run through the puddles.

our exploration took us through the forest on a hike, to volleyball basketball courts, to the lake with sticks and rocks, to a huge T.P. set up for outdoor school that's here this week. by the end of the exploration both boys were asking to be carried, exhausted from adventure.

we came back to a warm house, warmed our bodies, rested our bodies and played with trains. uncle jake came to pick us up mid afternoon for the second half of our day. he had the flatbed dump truck. the boys had to help load the wood onto the truck. then, they got to ride between the cab of the truck and the flatbed. apparently it's made for people to ride there. when you're only experience of being in a moving vehicle is being in a five point harness car seat....well, you can imagine.

our destination was the burn pile. on our way there we saw a man who lives and works at tadmor. he asked what we were doing and i thought we might get in trouble for "playing" with tadmor's equipment. instead he stopped us to ask us if we wanted the chainsaw.....i'm serious. 'the boys would love to watch the chainsaw.' i sat amazed that he was so eager to give the boys a great experience. he then went on to say that he was going to have the backhoe fixed for us in the morning. he wanted to make sure that the boys got to drive it. a stranger, wanting isaiah and justin's little boy dreams to come true.

we drove to the burn pile and the boys got to operate the dump truck and dump our load of wood. we then headed up to the wood pile where uncle jake and matt cut wood for the boys. they learned how to tell how old trees are and each got a round sliver of wood to take home.

at the edge of tadmor's property they are clear cutting the forest. regardless of how you feel about that, it was an AMAZING thing to behold. the mud was 3 inches deep as we all trekked up the road. as we got there a huge semi came in behind us. they were unloading a dangle head. what's a dangle head? good question. we had to ask the logger what it was and what it did. but i tell you it was the gnarliest thing i've ever seen. it shaves, measures length, diameter and then cuts the logs. it can then record it into the computer. only a $500K machine. we watched it get unloaded from the semi, watched a bulldozer pull the semi out of the mud and in the distance could see an excavator stacking logs. i'm not sure who was more impressed, the boys or the adults.

a fantastic day. today has hopes of driving the backhoe, a huge train collection with remote control trains and fishing... i'll let you know. (and when i get home i can upload some of the pictures of our time)

Say What?! Wednesday

isaiah got some new pj's last week from costco. they're green stripe, and they have, what looks like to me, a dinosaur on the front. so one morning last week isaiah and our good friend bev were talking and playing playdoh. isaiah said, 'look bev! look at my pj's!' she said, 'yes, those are nice isaiah, and they have a rhinoceros on them!' isaiah said very seriously and matter-of-factly, 'ACTUALLY bev.....it's a dinosaur.'

sometimes....

my brother adam left for africa on saturday. he and emily, and their two foster kids (doug & haylee) stayed at the house before he flew out. em and the kids decided to stay the weekend. we had a great time. i'm not sure all i can say about doug and haylee, but for now just know, adam and em are giving them a life they never dreamed they would have.

haylee, bless her little heart, is the sweetest, toughest little 5 year old you'll ever meet. everything about her seems to endear her to you. but perhaps one of the sweetest things about her is her grammar. for example, emily tells a story of when they went to a football game and haylee, referring to the cheerleaders, kept saying, 'her has glitter on her face, her has glitter on her face.' i experienced it myself this weekend.

haylee came down stairs after her shower on saturday night and she was in her pj's hair wet. i asked her if she wanted me to braid her hair while it was wet and then when she woke up in the morning it would be crimpy for church. she wasn't sure what to think of it, but with a little coaxing we convinced her. it takes a while to give a 5 year old two french braids...it's hard to sit still. so as i'm braiding i'm trying to distract her.

'haylee, do you like to have your hair done?' i ask. and in her sweet little voice she says, 'sometimes me does.....sometimes me doesn't.'

the many faces of alaythia

rays of sunshine

the weather is crappy. we had no in-between weather. we went from sunny to straight rain. we're all sick with colds. we're not sleeping at night. things really are not looking up. i'm on the brink of going down and i might soon topple over. but i'm clawing, trying to stay upright. so in an effort to support that notion, i'm going to focus on the good things that have brightened my life the last few days.

*the sun is rising later and setting earlier. two mornings ago, during snuggle time, we got to watch the sunrise. it was a harvest sun, the sky was painted red. isaiah sat up in bed and said, 'the sky! it's red mommy!'

*going to costco and having both kids ride in the front of the cart. they thought it was very fun to be next to each other and i liked looking at both their faces right in front of me. (it was the first time they had been that way).

*alaythia..oh there's so much to love! she likes to fake cough (maybe cause she hears all the rest of us doing it). it's this light, feminine cough like, 'oh, poor me, i'm sick too'. it's so stinkin' cute. or when i blow on her food she cups her lips the same way and blows too. i love that she can't get enough kisses. she'll let you kiss her for hours...and i do. her clapping. now when there is excitement surrounding her or if she hears music swell, she'll start clapping. half the time it's hand to wrist, but that makes it all the more adorable.

*family movie night. we all hunkered in on the couch last night and watched part of charlotte's web.

*lighting autumn candles.

*isaiah has become quite proficient at making coffee. he now can scoop the beans, place the lid on the grinder and grind just the right amount of time. he makes a great cup of coffee, and he made some for me this morning.

Say What??! Wednesday

the sun came out for a brief second today so isaiah and i headed outside for him to ride his trike. he was doing such a good job riding around the court and back. i decided to run in the house and get the video camera. i came back and he started riding. i said, 'wait for me to start the camera!' he said, 'okay mom, fire it up!'

curse of the blogger

i don't know if this already exists, if so, i'm giving it validity. if not, i'm creating it.

the curse of the blogger.

whatever thing i seem to blog about, something goes wrong shortly after.

like my kids 'love' for each other. seems we've entered the jealous world. hitting, hurting and fighting.....no more long gazes of love. that is a blogging thing of the past.

or my mature love for matt. not too shortly after that we got into a huge work-it-through obstacle. (i'm afraid to type 'fight', but that's what it was). it took us days to work through it.

or the most recent....snuggling. the last two days have been WAY TO EARLY. this morning's snuggle beginning with a slap in the face (literally).

maybe it's all in my mind...but lest you think my life is full of love and snuggles remember -- the curse of the blogger.

new blogger

just wanted to let you know about a new blog that i'm super excited about..... the Aalseth's (matt's sister and her family). it's on my blog roll, but if you want to check it out click here.

i'm super proud of my nephew. my favorite nephew i might add. and there's lots to see of him there.

an unexpected blessing

there is nothing really great about matt's job at wells fargo. sure, it's flexible and works around teaching, but calling people who are late on their credit card payments.....not to fun. but some good has come out of it. a new routine for our family.

i'm assuming that the 'norm' is that most dad's are home when their kids wake up. especially because most kids get up so early. but matt is up and out the door by 5:20 -- four out of seven mornings. and thank the Lord my kids don't get up that early. they've adjusted to waking up without dad, we all have. and it's been a big adjustment.

i'm not a morning person. never have been. ask my family -- growing up they called me grouch. i just HATE mornings. so this has a big adjustment for me, having the kids on my own -- in the morning. so in order to cope with my morning alone, i started snuggling (ie: trying to get a few more minutes of sleep.) i was being selfish in this new endeavor, but something really special has come out of it.

snuggle time has become the routine. the kids climb in bed every morning now, like it's been going on forever. it's been especially fun of recent because it's cold outside and they are wearing their yummy fuzzy pj's. alaythia still has that sleepy smell on her, the sweet and sour all at once. she's rested, happy, and a wiggleworm. where i move, she moves, snuggled in. when isaiah wakes up he bursts in the door. he has 4 animals and his blanket in hand, and climbs up and under the covers. his hair is long and crazy, his droopy eyes are soft and tender. we're all blurry eyed and trying to wake up. some of us wake up faster than others... :)

i remember when i was young waiting to hear the shower go on in the morning. that meant dad was up and there was room in mom and dad's bed. i don't know if it ever was, but i felt like it was a race every morning to see who could get in bed first. i love those memories.

when we got a king size bed when we got married, my mom said it was a great family bed. lots of room for kids. i'm just beginning to understand what she meant.

i know that matt misses the snuggle time in the morning, and the other 3 mornings of the week you can bet he looks forward, to not only sleeping in, but getting to snuggle with the kids.

what is it about having all that you hold so dear in a small space? something comforting and fulfilling. on those mornings when there are 4 godshall's in the bed, all seems right with the world.

this can't wait

this morning grandpa walked in from a trip. he had left yesterday morning and was stopping in today to change his clothes and continue on his way to work. he walked in the door, said hello and isaiah quickly said, 'did you get any salt?'

'salt?' grandpa asked bewildered.
'salt' isaiah said matter-of-factly.

grandpa looked to me for help - i was just as clueless. after a moment he figured it out.

as grandpa was walking out the door yesterday, the last thing he said to isaiah was, 'well, i'm off to the salt mines.'

is it a sign?

it seemed to matt and i that isaiah was done with naps. he was having a hard time falling asleep in the afternoon, and crying a lot at night. he's a great sleeper -- he'll go 2 and half, 3 hours for a nap during the day. if i can time it right, and get both kids down at the same time, i'm made in the shade. i wasn't complaining. but after about 3 nights of having a hard time going to bed, and with much saddness, we thought we'd give up the naps.

monday was hard. he was cranky and whiney and i was seriously doubting our decision. then i remembered back to when he was about 15 months old and the transition from 2 naps to 1. i remember friends telling me that he would be cranky for about a week and then he'd figure it out and be fine. i remembered giving it a try and sure enough he had figured it out in about a week. so on tuesday, with renewed resolve, we skipped the nap again.

now, i'm used to having some quiet time in the middle of the day...that is precious time for a mother of two. so today, day three of no naptime, i started to get a bit cranky and whiney. 'i want my naptime. i miss my naptime' i whined to matt (who is home studying today). as soon as alaythia went to sleep i decided to institute quiet time for isaiah.

'you play quietly in the playroom while mommy does other things. i'm not going to play with you, this is your time to be quiet, do whatever you want to do, but you have to do it alone.' i knew it was going to take some explaining and figuring out. the first several calls for me i was understanding, patient. but time 4 and 5 i was starting to get a tad frustrated.

'is it time to get up mommy?' no answer because i'm upstairs and shouting a response will wake alaythia. 'is it time to get up mommy? is it time to get up mommy?' no joke, it's a broken record. matt decides to step in and tells him that we'll tell him when he can be done playing. and if he can be quiet he'll get to watch a movie, the ultimate reward.

two minutes go by, 'is it time to get up daddy? is it time to get up daddy? is it time to get up daddy.' i walk down stairs and explain one more time.

2 minutes, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes.... no isaiah calling. i walk downstairs and this is what i find:

Say What??! Wednesday

last week, as we were driving to home community, matt and i were in a heated discussion. (it will have to be a different post on whether we should be 'heatedly discussing' in front of the kids. we grew up differently in this area, so we're still workin' it through.) anyway, as soon as there was a break in the discussion isaiah interjected with, 'that's okay, i forgive you both!'

even as heated as we were, we couldn't help but smile...and inwardly thank isaiah for his wisdom in the matter.

ride, sally ride

isaiah doesn't give many kisses freely. you have to ask for them and even then it's hit and miss. depends on his mood. but tonight, i unexpectedly got one.

i had bath duty tonight. isaiah was wet and i 'wrapped him up like a burrito' (as we like to say with a mexican accent). i had a sudden burst of energy and started whipping him around my body. up and over, side to side. i was singing that song that dan zanes sings on playhouse disney:

'down in the valley two by two -- two by two -- two by two.
down in the valley two by two, and then you ride, sally ride'.

as i sang 'ride sally, ride' i would do the flipping. he thought it was hilarious. if i even thought about putting him down he would say, 'let's ride again mommy.' so i would start it up again.

as i was holding him in front of me in between rounds, wrapped up like a burrito, he unexpectedly froze, looked in my eyes and gave me a kiss. 'let's ride again mommy.'

i tried not to act surprised. i tried to act like it was no big deal. but my heart lept.

i guess i should throw him around more often.

two-fer tuesday

i could just feel it last night as i got ready for bed. i knew i wasn't going to sleep.

and i was right.

after coaxing and comforting for most of the night last night and day today -- alaythia's second tooth finally broke through this evening! mommy is thrilled!

that means sleep for us both tonight.

the Jesus way, the Jesus truth, the Jesus Life

this is why i love imago dei community.

if you have time i believe listening to what rick said yesterday would be well worth your time.

click here to be taken to the page where you can listen.

God held off the rain for the kids.....but not for me

fall is here. the morning was completely socked in with clouds. we even had a few waves of down pour. i needed to go to target and the sun had broke through, so i'd thought i'd venture out. i just took the stroller into target this morning because i only had a few things to buy. we took our time looking around, playing hide-n-go seek through the clothes. as we walked up to the check out line i saw that it was once again nasty outside. i could see the trees blowing, and the sun was gone. dark rain clouds were dumping what they had between me and my van.

'okay', i thought, 'this is the first time i'm going to have to do this with two kids'. it won't be the last as winter is fast approaching. alaythia had a shade over the top of her and isaiah had a hood. i had decided to wear capri jeans, short sleeve t-shirt and shoes with no socks. (because i got dressed during the brief time when the sun came out).

i stood under the awning, debating, planning my attack. then as if pushed, i darted out into the rain. it wasn't terrible, but wasn't mist. i could tell the rain was picking up so i started to run.

granted, the kids thought it was fantastic. isaiah was whooping and i could see little alaythia's legs a-kickin'. as i ran the water from the wheels splashed back onto me. there were two older women walking out at the same time and i could hear them cheering me on.

we arrived at the van just as a HUGE gust of wind blew and took both kids' breath away. i yelled for isaiah to get in the van as i bent down to unhook alaythia. isaiah crawled in under alaythia's car seat to the other side, and i began strapping alaythia in. God held off the rain for the kids. i sent a quick 'thank you' for the mercy, however small.

just as i clipped the last buckle for alaythia, the biggest deluge of the morning began. and i'm talking, i was completely soaked by the time she was squared away.

i ran to the back of the van, had to pop the trunk, fold the stroller, put it in.... done. ran to the driver's side door, opened it to strap isaiah in. he thought it was hilarious to see me move that fast, shrieking along the way. i opened the door looking like a drowned rat. he wasn't in his chair...in one swoop i grabbed him, lifted him up, plopped him down and strapped him in. the wiggly, giggly guy that he is -- especially when mommy's frazzled.

by the time i got in my seat i was laughing hysterically at myself, half in disbelief, half in shock. i looked like i had just taken a shower with my clothes on.

next time i'll think twice before going out in the rain with two little ones....or at least wear a coat.

Say What??! Wednesday

so our friend ben is a drummer. he is a professor of music at a couple local colleges and he teaches drum lessons as well. he offered last week to come over and have a drum lesson with isaiah. we totally jumped at the chance.

so after dinner ben asked isaiah if he wanted to head up to play the drums. isaiah quickly said yes and they started that way. ben started to explain how he had been thinking all day how exactly you give a drum lesson to a 2 and half year old that has the mind of an 11 year old. i sensed that he might be feeling some pressure so i said, 'ben, there is no pressure. we have no expectations, we're just glad you are here.'

isaiah quickly chimed in:

'yeah ben, the pressure is all on the drumsticks!'

why?

so the three little word has come to our house and it's here to stay i'm afraid. i was thinking it might hold off it's arrival until 3 years old, that's the age i had heard it usually comes.

so this is how our day goes:
'isaiah, please don't pick your nose.' wait for it.... 'why?'
'isaiah, please don't hit your sister.....' 'why?'
'isaiah, we're going to go now.....' 'why?'

even as i sit here typing he's saying, 'why mama? why mama? why?'

it showed up a couple days ago and i thought, 'oh that's just a one time thing.' not so.

my response should be to desire to explain every detail of this world to my son. to take the time to open up his world to all that he's inquiring about. but most times i hear myself in the hustle of the day saying those dreaded words i said i would never repeat....'because i said so.'

i know there are times he should just say, 'okay mommy.' other times i should give an explanation. oh, parenting is ever changing. the new challenge before me:

why.

bethany vineyard

for my parent's birthdays (in july) we bought tickets to a summer concert a local vineyard. bring your own food, buy wine there...absolutely breath taking view. the vineyard is 15 minutes from our house. we got babysitters for all the kids and had an adult night out. can you believe it's the first time that the 8 of us have been out only as adults?

it was a fantastic night and we decided that we would make it a tradition to do every year. at intermission we walked around the pond through the vineyard, taking our time, talking and watching as the sun set.

this was the view from where we were sitting for the concert. amazing.

a big day for our girl

she graduated to a ducky bath tub. no more sink tub. she loved splashing and playing with toys. she was so wrinkly after she got out because she had played so long.

have you read about the new studies that have come out about t.v. watching and babies? they say for every hour they watch of t.v. a day, they speak 6 less words.... grandma and grandpa aren't sure what to think about all the new studies we tell them about. so yesterday (to mock me i think) grandpa said, as alaythia was enthralled with isaiah playing the drums, that for every minute alaythia spends watching him play that's one rocker she'll fall in love with. ha ha.

her first tooth! can you see it? a tiny white line on the right side. my baby is growing up!

this was just to cute to pass up.

say what??! wednesday

i missed 'say what??! wednesday' because i was sick. so here you go.

isaiah has been on the path of potty training for some time. #1 came very easily, #2 was a bit harder. hours of crying and pleading while sitting on the potty. for some reason he just didn't want to do it. i'm happy to say it's not an issue anymore. in fact, on tuesday, for the first time, he told me had to go #2. i about fell over.

so i sat him on the potty and he did his thing. after he got off he said, 'i can't wait to tell daddy i went big poo poo. he's gonna be jealous!'

that he will isaiah, that he will.

10 minutes of fun

maybe it's that i've been on the couch for two days. maybe it's because it's just who i am and i knew one day it would come out.

deep in me there is a great desire to scare. i LOVE to scare people. and there is nothing that makes me laugh more than to watch someone get scared. i have held off with isaiah for obvious reasons. i'm his mother, if i made it a habit of scaring him he would be seriously messed up.

but like i said, maybe it's the fact that i've been laying horizontal on the couch for two days sicker than a dog and i have all this pent up energy.

i started to feel better tonight, i have like 10 minute spurts of feeling good and then i'm laid out again. so as isaiah walked past me i roared and grabbed for him. his little body shook, laughed and said, 'doe, doe, don't do that mommy.'

i was sitting on the floor with alaythia and as he walked by again i grabbed him and tickled him. the next time he had to walk past me, he went all the way around the house to avoid me.

matt called for him and i told him i wouldn't touch him if he came by, debating in my mind if i would or not. matt could see it in my eyes having been a victim of my double speak before. he looked and me with a serious stare and said, 'don't touch him.' he walked by and i resisted.

the boys went upstairs to get ready for bed. the bathroom door was closed, teeth brushing going on behind it....i couldn't resist. i flung the door open and roared again. they both shook this time and then laughed hysterically. matt rolled his eyes and isaiah said, 'doe, doe, don't do that mommy.' (with a grin)

i sat nursing alaythia in the rocker and isaiah walked very slowly into the bedroom, 'please don't scare me anymore mama.' being expertly coached by matt. 'okay' i said, my head pounding already from my more than 10 minutes of fun.